7th Heaven/Heroes/Ned's Declassified Guide To School Survival:
Channel Surfing (Mf,inc,spank,drugs)
by Hamster ([email protected])
~CLICK: TV ON, WB~
Eric had not been able to get a rise in what seemed like several months. It
had been starting to worry him so he took some supplements. Actually he took
too much Extra-Strength Empeniator, a male-enhancement drug. Now his cock had
swollen to an unnatural size and all the blood had rushed from his brain to
his penis. Unfortunately he hadn't checked with his wife, who wasn't going to
be home for hours, and now he had an erection the size of redwood tree
without Annie to help him release it.
"Whew I'm thirsty." he said.
He popped open a can of Redbull while he tried to figure out what to do. He
looked at the bottle and began to read the warning. The last line read 'Do
not mix with any sort of energy drink'.
"Oh shit." He said.
Further reading provided this tidbit, "Must have sex within 2 hours of taking
or may result in fatal explosion!"
His current urge to fuck something, anything, was almost unbearable. His
manhood was so badly swollen that it looked like a wiener dog. Eric staggered
downstairs in a daze. His vision was clouded and his thoughts were muddled.
He shuffled into the kitchen with a thumping headache to match his raging
Ruthie was there, making a sand which.
"Dad! Why are you naked...OH MY GOD! What's wrong with you?" She asked in
"Not...well...Mus....have sex...if not will die..." Eric collapsed to the
ground. His giant cock was standing tall and pulsating. Eric was dazed.
"OH NO, I saw something about this on TV you took some of that four hour
exploding erection stuff didn't you?" She said. Ruthie looked in horror. She
thought about performing CPR but didn't think it would help him. She didn't
want her dad to die, so she really didn't have a choice. "Don't worry I'll
Ruthie wiggled out of her tight jeans. She quickly stripped out of her
panties and went to her dad. She spread her legs and thrust her tight
little cunt down onto her father's enormous swollen member. She gasped
as his abnormally large cock pushed up inside her and ripped past her
"EEUUUGH!" She cried.
"YES!!!" Cried Eric as he finally started to show some signs of life.
Eric rolled Ruthie onto her back and began to pump his cock into her with the
ruthless aggression of a stud bull.
"Oh shit daddy it hurts!" She protested.
Eric was well beyond any sort of concern for a trivial complaint like that.
All he cared about was fucking that sweet tight little teen twat as hard as
he possibly could. Ruthie's head was bobbing up and down practically like a
bobble-head doll. He spewed his cum into her like torrent, his cream flowed
and flowed like a fire hose and gushed out of her cunt when he was finished.
He collapsed on top of his daughter breathing hard. Finally when they both
regained their composure he stared into Ruthie's eyes with gratitude.
"Thanks I didn't think I was going to make it." He said.
"Pant, pant any time...do you have any more of that stuff?" She asked.
A MOVIE TRAILOR...
Scene: A snarling turtle monster.
Scene: A hot blonde in a torn pink dress chained to a wall.
Scene: Triple H, dressed as Mario, holding a sledgehammer staring with great
Narrator: This summer, when all hell breaks lose...
Scene: An army of massive humanoid mushrooms and giant man-eating turtles
Scene: Mario flying high in the air and bringing his hammer down on Koopa's
Narrator: ... it will be GAME ON!
Scenes: Close ups of Mario, then Peach, then King Koopa
Narrator: Triple H IS Super Mario. This film has not yet been rated.
Text: Triple H as Mario, Trish Stratus as Peach, and the Voice of Vince
McMahon as King Koopa
Queue: WWE Films logo
Claire was upstairs in the room she was staying in before she and her newly
found grandmother were to head to Paris. She was packing some of the new
cloths that her grandmother had bought her. Her uncle Peter knocked on the
open door as he stepped into the room with her.
"You look great, really, really, great." Peter said.
She was wearing a short black skirt that matched her blouse.
"Thanks." She said nervously.
"Hey it's true." He replied.
Peter's niece was pretty damm hot. Too hot really, it was starting to make
his cock uncomfortably hard. Peter chastised himself mentally for his dirty
thoughts about his poor innocent niece.
"Wow Peter, you really are sporting some serious wood." Said Claire.
"I uhhh wait it's err umhh gee uhh." Peter stammered.
His desperate hope that his niece wouldn't notice that he was sporting wood
"Don't worry," She said. "I'm really glad that you think I'm hot."
"What? You are?" He asked confusedly.
"Of course I am, you are my hero." She said.
Claire reached forward and unzipped his pants. She reached into his pants and
grabbed hold of his hard cock. Peter was much too shocked to say a word. He
knew he should put a stop to this right away but he couldn't bring himself to
do it. Oh shit, he thought, my own niece is stroking my cock!!! Claire pulled
his pants down to his ankles and then his underwear. She leaned forward and
planted a kiss on his mouth. Peter put his arms around her waist and pulled
her close. His hands went to her firm round ass and squeezed.
I can't do this I'm her uncle!!!, said his brain.
Shut the fuck up and quit trying to ruin this for me, said his cock.
The pair made their way to the bed. Peter rolled her skirt up and then pulled
her panties down.
This is your last chance, we can back out now, said his brain.
Bitch I said shut the fuck up, I'm trying to concentrate her, said his cock
He grabbed her waist and drove his cock into her tight little pussy. She
whimpered as his cock tore through her sweet virginity. He fucked her with
one stroke after another. She moaned groaned as he fucked as hard as he could
eventually make her squeal as she came. He pulled out but was still good and
hard, he plunged back in and as he suspected, her regeneration had repaired
her broken hymen! That was good. Peter broke it again, and again and again.
He spent the next couple hours, invigorated by the regeneration he absorbed
from Claire, popping the girl over and over.
Two heavy set Italian men sat on a boat fishing with a much thinner man
sitting between them. The thin man was handcuffed and had his feat in a
bucket that was filled with cement that was quickly drying. The thinner
man looked very depressed. One of the two larger men's phone rang.
"Yeah, huh...yeah. OK, that's great." Said the man before turning off his
phone and putting it away.
"A, Johnny just got some good news." Said the fat man.
"Boss Russi, don't want me dead no more?" Johnny said as he perked up and for
the first time that day was feeling pretty good.
"What? Nah, sorry. But I did save a ton of money on my auto insurance."
NED'S DECLASSIFIED SCHOOL SURVIVAL GUIDE
"Do you think Lisa Zimo is hot?" Cookie had asked him.
"I can't answer that question on the count of the fact that I'm 35." Was
Gordy's cop-out answer.
But the fact was that he did find her to be hot. In fact he had been
picturing her while masturbating for the last couple days. He was desperately
trying to fight his massive urge to fuck her when it all became a whole lot
harder for him on that front. Lisa opened the door to his janitorial closet
and walked in, without here usual entourage of lovesick boys.
"UHH Lisa, what are you doing here?" Gordy asked nervously.
"Well, you're friends with Cookie, right?" Asked Lisa.
"Sure." Gordy said.
"Do you know why he treated me like a leper all last year but now he keeps
following me around?" Lisa asked.
"Well that's easy to answer. Last year you had the whole braces, glasses and
acne thing going but this year you're hot." Said Gordy.
OOPS! He'd just let it slip that he found her hot. Fortunately Lisa either
did not catch the comment or was choosing to ignore it.
"But that's so shallow." Lisa said turning away from him.
"Yeah I guess he's sort of a douche." Gordy felt mildly guilty about dissing
his buddy so that he could make time with the (under aged) girl he liked, but
what the hell you only live once.
"So you think I'm hot?' Asked Lisa as she turned to face him with a
"Well of course I think you're hot." Gordy.
"Well were you planning on doing something about it?" She asked with a hand
on her hips and coy sexy smile.
Gordy blinked. Did he just get an invitation? Gordy pushed her up against the
wall and started kissing her hard. He was sporting wood for the young teen
girl pretty quickly. Gordy rolled her skirt up and bent her over his cleaning
"Done this before?" He asked.
"Uh no." She said.
Perfect. She was prime virgin territory. It was time to invade some pussy.
It only took a minute for him to take off his coveralls and whip out his
"Yes you bastard, fuck me hard!" Cried Lisa.
"Uhh sure." He said.
He pulled her skirt down and then started to grab her panties.
"I NEED it NOW just tear them off" Cried Lisa.
Gordy did just that ripping them to shreds as he tore them off the girl.
Without hesitation he plunged his cock into her cunt and began to pond her
good. He slapped her ass a couple times real good as he fucked her pussy.
"YES! HARDER HARDER." She cried.
Oh my god she's a freak! Gordy thought. This of course got him more excited
and he started slapping that ass nice and red as he fucked her silly. He
finally groaned whilst he shot his wad into her.
"HEY!!! I didn't come yet." Lisa protested.
"Oh uhh sorry." Gordy said.
He looked around and found a short broom. He took the end and drove it into
her cunt, a few strokes and she was coming too.
~CLICK: RANDOM CHANNEL~
Two men stood in a room facing the camera.
"Hi I'm a Mac." Said the younger looking of the two.
"And I'm a PC." Said the heavier, balder one.
"I'm superior to PC here in every way....achh." Mac was cut short when PC's
buried a Knife in his stomach.
"P...C...why? Cough!" Asked a wide-eyed Mac.
"Let's just see how superior you are when your fucking guts are all over the
floor." PC said with a broad smile.