This is just a little vignette I liked the idea of, but couldn't find a story
to fit it into. Dammit. Oh well, is that the definition of a drabble perhaps?
If you think it's worth some feedback, please drop me a line at
[email protected]

Andromeda: Part 3 - Pinch (no sex)
by Furball

Walking down my station's mall ring with Rommie is a simple pleasure, more
so because we're heading to my suite and the largest bed in three systems.
Rommie's little yelp of surprise makes me jump, and I spin to see what
could possibly rattle *her* like that. Before I even reach a ready stance,
she has a scrawny youth by the front of his jumpsuit, against the inner
wall, a foot above the ground. I recognise the uniform. Worse, I recognise
the look on her face. "What happened Rommie?"

"This little asshole just pinched my bottom. I'm going to hurt him. A lot."
My little love elf is very broad minded, but invade her space without
permission at your own risk. I stroke her shoulder in a soothing gesture.
If I can just get her to step back and give herself time to calm down.
Maybe get her to see the funny side, even.

"Give me a moment with him first, please?" She looks at me, nods, but doesn't
put him down. I covertly flick my eyes towards the window, and she gives me a
puzzled look. She'll work it out. I turn back to our victim. "Do you know me,

He's shaken, a little scared maybe, but there's still some fight in him. "No,
should I?"

I flick the logo on his jumpsuit. "Most people just call me LBG, but you can
call me sir. Want to take a guess about what pinching your boss's lady friend
does to your career prospects?" He goes white. I see movement outside the
window, Rommie has worked out what I was suggesting, and she's going with it.
Good. This guy might walk away yet. "On top of that, do you know who this
lovely young lady is?"

"Er, no. ... Sir." Ah, good. He's really scared now.

"Her name is Rommie. Short for .." I move aside a little so he can see the
window, where a sleek, graceful shape is sliding into view mere feet from the
station, nose pointing directly at us. Any other ship, I'd space her captain
for a risky move like that. Rommie though, I trust. There's a collective gasp
as the passers by notice her too. "Andromeda Ascendant. She's the avatar of
the most powerful warship in the known worlds." Her weapons ports open in a
ripple from stem to stern. Someone nearby drops a plate. "Might I suggest an
apology?" You could cut the atmosphere with a knife. The entire ring is
holding its breath.

Smart boy. He goes into apology overdrive. "I'm very, very sorry Miss
Ascendant. It won't happen again, I promise. Ever. Sorry". Rommie lets him
down, and outside she executes a tumbling breakaway so tight and perfect it
has the pilots on the ring clapping and cheering. Our victim runs. Hope he
learned his lesson. His colleagues will fill him in later about my evil
sense of humour. Later still, maybe I'll give him some some fatherly advice
about women, and how not to get killed.


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