Here is a silly little story I wrote pretty quickly (so it probably contains
loads of mistakes and errors) shortly after watching the film and I had a
couple of hours to kill. It's kind of like a deleted scene that happens just
after Austin rejects Felicity at his pad and she is ordered to get the
location of Dr. Evil's secret base out of Fat Bastard. I expect we'd all like
to see Heather Graham getting fucked hard, but if Fat Bastard's more your
cup of tea then hey, whatever floats your boat! I'm trying my hardest not to
focus too much on Fat Bastard, which I'm sure you'll all appreciate.

Austin Powers - The Spy Who Shagged Me: The Spy Who Shagged Fat Bastard (M/F)
by B-Boy ([email protected])

Felicity Shagwell could hardly believe what she was doing. She knew being an
undercover officer for the C.I.A. often meant undertaking dangerous missions
but surely this was beyond the call of duty. It had been a bad day for her,
she'd thrown herself at Austin and he'd rejected her and then Basil had told
her she had to do EVERYTHING possible in order to get the information out of
rogue piper Fat Bastard as to the whereabouts of Dr. Evil's secret base.

Despite, his grotesque appearance Fat Bastard seemed to think he was God's
gift to women, so Felicity had no trouble in seducing him; no other woman
would touch him with a barge pole and very few men could resist the charms
of the fit, blonde secret agent. She'd tracked him down to the local KFC,
no surprise there, and sat opposite him. She'd worn her all-in-one red and
yellow knitted dress, which stopped scandalously high up her thighs and
allowed plenty of space up top to show off her impressive cleavage. Fat
Bastard never questioned why this beauty wanted to sit with him; he just
let her flirt with him while he guzzled his way through 4 family bargain
buckets. Only God knew why he thought he was so sexy if this was his idea
of a romantic date. Anyway, all Felicity's attempts (both subtle and blatant)
to get the whereabouts of Dr. Evil's hideout met with failure. Fat Bastard
was either a genius or a complete idiot not to at least suspect Felicity's
intentions. Felicity guessed it was the latter. Finally, with Basil's
instructions fresh in her memory, she resigned herself that she would have
to go much, much further with Fat Bastard to get the necessary information.

That was how she found her self in her current predicament. She was lying in
the dark (she'd insisted the lights be turned off) on the huge bed in Fat
Bastard's squalid apartment. She'd already discarded her dress and was now
wearing just a shiny silver bra and a small pair of matching panties. The
door to the bedroom opened and large, black shadow filled the doorway.

"Ahm dead sexy me!" spat Fat Bastard in his harsh Scottish accent while
munching on a large hunk of meat. "Hey baby, you wanna bite of ma hotdog?"

"Come on big boy." Spoke Felicity softly, the lack of light hid the disgust
on her face, "Make kitty purr!" Fat Bastard slammed the door shut behind him
and waddled over to the bed, throwing his food away as he did so. There was
a lot of that, food discarded in the corner along with numerous empty pizza
boxes and the like. The room wasn't completely dark; there was that bluish
hue that seems to exist in darkened rooms. If the lights had been on, she
surely would have been physically ill at the sight of Fat Bastard's grotesque
body but the dim radiance set her mind at ease slightly and made her
impending ordeal seem almost bearable.

"C'mon honey," shouted Bastard, towering over Felicity wearing nothing but a
pair of grubby white underpants that seemed to get disappear somewhere under
his many folds of flab. "Unleash the beast! Gwarhahaha!" Cringing slightly in
the dark, Felicity reached down and tugged on the hem of Bastards shorts.
They weren't budging so Felicity gave them an almighty yank. She opened her
mouth in disbelief; it was now obvious why Fat Bastard thought so much of
himself! The largest cock she'd ever seen, and she'd seen quite a few, stood
proudly to attention before her. It had to be at least 10 inches long; from
what she'd heard from several groupies Austin was only about 8! Only, that
was a joke; everyone knew Austin was a sex machine but apparently even he
couldn't compare in size to this big Scottish monster.

"Oh Baby!" exclaimed Felicity. She was only half acting now, temporarily
distracted by the size of Bastard's gigantic cock. Almost unconsciously she
wrapped one of her soft hands around his chunky shaft. Thoughts of how
disgusting this man was left her mind completely, she didn't have to look at
his face or body to appreciate the wonder of the organ before her.

"Ah Yeah!" grunted Bastard, "Big, Sexy man!" Fat Bastard made no attempt to
join Felicity on the bed. He just stood at her side enjoying her touch as she
ran her fingers up and down the entire length of his veiny shaft. In order
to get better purchase on Bastard's throbbing dong, Felicity had shifted her
body so she was sat on her knees on the bed, directly level with Bastard's
one-eyed monster. "Oh lassie, that's some nice hooters ya got there." He
reached down and began to grope Felicity's breast through her bra as best he
could. His disgusting touch snapped her back to reality. Really, she was
transfixed by the sex organ of arguably the most disgusting man on the
planet, what was she thinking?! It was a lovely specimen of manhood though.
She backed off slightly. "Don't tease now lassie," said Bastard, grabbing her
shoulder. Taking his cock in his chubby fingers he guided it underneath the
center of Felicity's bra and through the valley of her cleavage. Remembering
her job (`Do EVERYTHING possible to discover where Dr. Evil is.') she played
along with Bastard. Felicity pushed her massive orbs together and created a
tight seal around Bastard's dick.

"Yeah baby!" she encouraged, not sure herself whether she was revolted or
not. Fat Bastard began to pump his hips, causing his rock-hard tool to plunge
between the snug fit of Felicity's wondrous baps. Felicity looked down and
saw the head of Bastard's stiff pole bobbing up between her tits. She hated
to admit it, but she was kind of enjoying the feeling of the long, throbbing
shaft against her breasts; it was just a pity it belonged to such an ugly
man. Bastard started to move his hands towards her and Felicity took the

"Aye. Oh. Yes." Murmured Fat Bastard as his hands replaced Felicity's, he
didn't miss a stoke though and continued to fuck her tits. Felicity reached
round and undid her bra; it fell forward and Felicity threw it on the floor.
"Lovely, lass, lovely!" Bastard squeezed her tits even harder and increased
the pace of his thrusting. He started running his obese thumbs over her
sensitive nipples, while continuing to grope and molest the rest of her
succulent tit-flesh with his palms.

"Mmmm." moaned Felicity. She was shocked with herself; she was actually
enjoying this ogres touch! If she thought hard enough, it didn't have to be
Fat Bastard playing with her tits, it could be anyone, it could be Austin.

"Och, YES! Ya wee gal! YESS!" Suddenly, Fat Bastard came without releasing
his hold her breasts. Felicity's chin was quickly coated his hot, thick cream
and the subsequent shots ran like milk down her neck and over her mountainous
spheres. All the time, Fat Bastard's erratic humping and spasming cock sent
waves through her quivering tit-flesh. Being drowned in this man's warm seed
convinced Felicity that things couldn't get much worse and it gave her a new
resolve to extract the necessary information from him.

She managed to pull away from Fat Bastard and swiftly engulfed the first few
inches of his impressive cock in her mouth, sucking it clean, before pulling
it out again just as quickly. "Oh, ya-ran eager one!" exclaimed Bastard. He
was right, she just had to have this monster organ fucking her hard but
before that could happen she had to get him hard again. Pumping one hand up
and down his thick root, Felicity began to moan around Fat Bastard's half
limp cock. Tickling his large, hairy balls with the other hand, Felicity took
little time in getting Bastard's cock back to attention. Although she didn't
want to risk Fat Bastard cumming again, Felicity just couldn't resist. Taking
her hands and placing them on his thighs she attempted to pack as much cock
down her throat as she could. She'd always considered herself good at giving
head but it was going to be difficult to swallow all of Fat Bastard's
impressive length. She closed her eyes and started to harshly slam her head
forward, desperate to stuff this large cock entirely into her mouth. Somehow
she managed it; the feeling of hot cock meat inside her gullet was
accompanied by the slapping of Bastard's nuts against her chin. Before she
could congratulate herself however:

"Yeah, I'm gonna cum!" gasped Fat Bastard. This wasn't what Felicity wanted
at all; if he came again he might not manage a third time and she was
desperate to have him relentlessly hammer her eager cunt with his massive
rod. She pulled herself off his dick quickly. An angry Fat Bastard snatched
at her head to get her to resume but Felicity easily evaded him. She lay
back on the bed, cum getting sticky on her body. She slowly began to run it
into her nipples, moaning lightly as she did so.

"Ya cannae tease like that ya wee little bitch. Ya gonna get a good hard
fuckin'," said Bastard. Felicity just nodded timidly. "Ya want that? Ya want
ma cock inside ye?" She nodded again; if that's what it took to find Dr. Evil
then that's what it took! To her horror, Felicity realised that Fat Bastard
intended to fuck her in the missionary position. Not only did this mean she'd
have to look at his face but she probably couldn't wrap her legs around his
immense waist and she'd likely be crushed to death in the process! Thinking
quickly, she got on all fours and shuffled backwards, grinding her ass, still
covered by the silver briefs, into Fat Bastard's crotch.

"Shag me doggy style, big boy!" laughed Felicity, she could hardly believe
what she was saying but nonetheless, saying it she was. "Stick that big,
juicy cock inside me stud." She turned her head to look at him and a few
drops of cum dripped off her chin.

"Horny little devil, aren't ye?" smiled Bastard. "Ye all wanna fuck the big
man!" He grabbed her hips and pulled her towards him before cupping her
vagina with one large hand. In spite of herself, Felicity had become quite
aroused and damp, which was just as well, she'd need all the lubrication
she could to accommodate Bastard's huge fuckbeast. Swiftly, he ripped down
her panties and Felicity kicked them off. She felt him running his rigid,
meaty cock over her smooth ass cheeks and looked forward to the fucking she
was about to get.

"OH GOD!" squealed Felicity as Fat Bastard buried his entire length up her
dripping snatch. "IT'S SO BIG! YES!" This was no act now, Felicity loved how
he filled her like no man had before, violating her tight little pussy with
strong, grunting strokes. "OH GOD, HARDER!" She demanded, "FASTER! OH FUCK

"Ya like that, ya slutty little American?" panted Bastard; despite his
obesity he seemed to have no trouble giving Felicity a good, long workout

cumming now; wave after wave of orgasmic bliss washed over her as the
overweight Scot pounded her from behind. Bastard gripped her hips harder
and started banging the blonde agent was greater force. "UUUHHHNNNNN!"
Felicity whimpered. "YES! YES! YES! FUCK YESSSSS!"

As she started to come down from her orgasm, Bastard obviously became
fatigued, although his wild fucking of Felicity's velvety twat rarely slowed.
Suddenly, he pulled his cock out of her pussy and turned the fair-haired babe
onto her back. Clutching his long, hard member in one hand he began to jerk
off. Without thinking, Felicity sat up and tried to catch what Bastard was
milking into her face.

"Aye, drink it all down like the whore ye are!" He seemed to have gallons
of buttery jizz, this surprised Felicity considering he'd come just minutes
earlier. Wads of sticky manfat landed in her hair, on her face and on her
tits but Felicity attempted to catch each and every drop in her mouth.

"Uuuhhhhhh." groaned Fat Bastard as he sprayed his gooey load over the
athletic, young girl. That little session had obviously tired Fat Bastard
out and he collapsed slowly onto the bed, causing it to creak loudly under
his weight. Felicity had to be on her toes to move out of the way quickly.
In a state of post-orgasmic bliss herself, Felicity drifted off to sleep.

"Shit!" thought Felicity some time later, waking up suddenly as the Scot
snored loudly beside her. "I never found out where Dr. Evil is hiding!" She
pondered for a moment, realising that now she would have to rely entirely
on the tracking device she was going to plant on him.

"You could have just done that in the first place." A part of her mind

"Wouldn't have been half the fun!" replied another. Felicity smiled and went
back to sleep, naked and covered in jizz but more than happy with her days

* * *

So, there we have it. The film would now resume with the scene where Felicity
inserts the tracking device up inside Fat Bastard. Anyway, if you enjoyed it
(or even if you didn't), drop me line.


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