Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters of Desperate Housewives. They
belong to Marc Cherry. I'm only borrowing them… Nor do I own any characters
from Buffy the Vampire Slayer - they are the property of Joss Whedon/Mutant
Enemy Productions.

This one came from a suggestion from Dr B, after stewing it for a bit I came
up a story.

Desperate Housewives: Desperately Seeking Susan Episode 14 (FFf, splosh)
by LL

It was late on a Tuesday evening when I got back from going through my
exercise regime with Billie. As I entered the front door Mom called from her
studio, "Julie, your friend Buffy called - could you give her a ring back?"

I replied in the affirmative and went upstairs to use the phone. Mom's pretty
liberal (well she has to be - she has sex with me on a regular basis), but I
hadn't got round to mentioning that Buffy was a porn producer and I was one
of her newest starlets. Well, it pays better than washing cars...

"Hi Julie," said Buffy after I'd rung, "I'm thinking of branching out into
some specialist DVDs. You interested?"

"Yes," I replied, "I just bought one this weekend - it was really good."


"It was some English guy, Giles something or other, lecturing about
werewolves in medieval legend. Really interesting, even if he thought they
were real."

There was a pause down the other end of the line, "Well, I was thinking more
about a film with food."

"Wow Buffy, I know this great recipe for Chicken in Taragon and Cream Sauce,
not sure it's too televisual though."

There was another pause, "Julie, I'm a porn producer - you won't be making
the food. You'll be being covered in it."

I blushed - sometimes my natural enthusiasm gets away with me.

"That sounds good, who's in it?" I said.

"Well I've managed to talk Bree into it," said Buffy. Personally I couldn't
see Bree being able to make a film which meant the slightest speck of food
anywhere outside plates and pans.

"And Faith as well."

I hadn't done a film with Faith, though I'd met her briefly and seen some of
her works. She was a rather tough, but cute looking, brunette in her late
teens and the thought of getting up close and personal made me salivate with
lust (though some of the salivation may have been because I was still
thinking about Bree and cookery).

"Count me in," I responded.

* * *

The day of the shoot arrived. I wasn't sure what to wear, never have done a
food fetish film before, but from Buffy's description it sounded like it was
going to be messy so I went for darks, which are lot easier to wash food
stains out of than light colours (washing tip for the day).

I got a lift over with Bree, normally she's a careful and considerate driver.
This time she was so competitive and distracted I held onto the edge of my
seat and reminded God, that whilst I may not be a regular church attendee,
I'm still a believer.

We pulled up outside Buffy's house and we got out, me feeling lucky to be
alive and Bree, looking like the thought of food fighting was an anathema to
her soul. Buffy waved at us from the door.

"Hi," she said cheerfully, "good drive over?"

I didn't reply, but the fact my hands were still shaking may have persuaded
Buffy this was not a conversational route she wanted to continue with.

"We're just setting up the cameras," Buffy continued, "and Mom's bought the
food. It's in the kitchen."

Whilst Bree went into the kitchen (doubtless to give it a quick scrub down) I
gossiped with Buffy, whilst Willow and Cordelia set up the equipment. After a
few minutes Faith arrived and joined in the conversation, before Buffy sent
us to get upstairs to change.

Concerned about dry cleaning bills, Buffy had decided that we need to wear
the three of us should wear minimum amount of clothes. In Bree's case this
meant she was wearing an apron around her waist, which covered her pussy and
then went down to her knees. And for Faith and me this meant being as naked
as the day we were born, though as Faith has a cute tush there were no
complaints on my part.

I was just admiring Faith's ass when Buffy called up, "Are you ready?"

As we were we went downstairs, the kitchen was all laid out, with a nice
selection of food. It made my mouth water and I couldn't resist taking out a
spoon and savouring a delicious bit of cherry trifle (not as good as Bree's
but still not bad). Buffy was having a quick word with Bree and I didn't
think she'd notice as I had a quick second mouthful, then a third.

"You ready, Julie?" she said suddenly and I gave a guilty start, and
swallowed the dessert whilst nodding.

"Then, action."

The camera panned in on Bree, "Welcome viewers, to the first episode of
'Bree's delights'. Now unlike the cookery programmes which you normally see,
I'm not going to teach you how to make the lightest soufflé or how to flavour
that chicken and leek soup" (boo, hiss, think I), "but on what we can do with
food afterwards. Can I welcome my two assistants, Faith and Jules Juggs." (I
am going to have to change that name).

The camera swung over to cover Faith and I, sitting bare-assed on the table.
We both waved.

Bree continued, "First-up Strawberry Jam. Now I prefer home-made Jam, which
has real fruit and no preservatives. But at a pinch you can buy jam from your
local Mall."

She picked up a jar, which obviously had been bought and tried to hide her
distaste whilst unscrewing the top. "Faith, if could lie down on the table."

Faith did as she was bid and Bree scooped out a couple of dollops of the
preserve and dumped them on Faith's tits, before adding a couple of spoonfuls
to her midriff.

"Enough for two," Bree said.

Only if you're stingy with the portions, I thought, but didn't say anything.
Instead I leant over Faith's tits and began to slurp up the jam. Bree was
doing the same around her belly button.

I wanted to make sure I did a good job and licked away at the food, cleaning
it away nicely. A side-impact of this that was my tongue once it through the
outer layer of the food, brushed against Faith's nipple as I tried to clean
up the stickiness. Faith moaned a few times, and I could feel her thrusting
herself upwards. The strawberry flavour of the jam added to the taste of
Faith's titties and I gorged myself on a mixture of flesh and fruit.

"Ice cream," I could hear Bree say, "Again home-made ice-cream has a much
better taste, and uses the best quality milk."

I drew my head away from Faith's tits, they were still a bit sticky, but
they'd have to do.

I lay on the table as I knew what was coming next. Sure enough Bree scooped
out a wad of ice-cream and dumped it on my tits. Unlike the jam it didn't
stay in place, but slid between them into my cleavage. Bree added an extra
scoop that joined the first. It was cold.

I hadn't got used to the sensation when Bree added a few dollops to my pussy.
Now that was even colder... I'd eaten ice-cream from Mom's pussy before, and
I wished she'd mentioned that having an iced dairy product dumped onto your
cunt sends waves of numbness throughout that very special region.

Of course a caring partner (or partners in my case) makes sure that this
numbness doesn't last long and starts to warm you up. Faith hadn't needed any
instruction about going for my pussy and was soon eating her way through it.
As her tongue slid through the vanilla I could vaguely feel it slip into my
lips and bring feeling back to them. And as they warmed up I knew I was
heading towards a great orgasm.

Bree meanwhile, after a few more words to camera, had climbed on the table
and was busy with her head between my mounds. I could feel her following the
ice-cream as it refused to stay in one place and slowly slithered down my
body, leaving a patch of coldness to be reheated by the Milf redhead.

Faith had just about finished the ice-cream around my pussy, though I could
feel that some of it had slipped away and was under my ass (luckily Bree
couldn't see the mess on the table or she'd have had to stop playing with my
chest to clean it up). However, very kindly, she continued to make sure my
pussy was nice and warm. I repaid the favour by having my juice begin to
bubble out, which Faith's continued to lap at vigorously.

Bree had finished with her dessert, and stood up to say a few more words to
camera. In the midst of my orgasm, I heard her use the words' chocolate
sauce' and I had to resist the urge to push Faith away and sit bolt upwards.
I love chocolate. But I liked having myself eaten to orgasm more (though it's
a tough call).

After I gave a final grunt, Faith replaced me on the table. Bree was standing
by with some more scoops of ice-cream (raspberry ripple this time) and she
expertly scooped it onto Faith, grimacing as a tiny sliver slid down between
Faith's legs to drip onto the table.

"Jules," she turned to me, "do you want to add some chocolate sauce?"

Well that's like asking if Cyrano de Bergerac wanted to get up close and
personal with Roxanne. Except it isn't, of course, because the real Cyrano
de Bergerac was probably gay and the love affair with Roxanne came from a
play written in 1897 by Edmond Rostand. Anyway, enough digressions about
Renaissance Playwrights. The answer is 'yes, I'd love to sprinkle Faith in
chocolately goodness'.

I picked up the sauce bottle and squeezed out the chocolate sauce, until it
covered the ice cream so completely that you wouldn't have realised there was
raspberry underneath. Bree hopped on the table and crouching over Faith began
to eat the ice-cream between her bosoms.

I hadn't finished with the chocolate sauce and continued to spray it over
Faith's nubile body. Some of my aim was a bit out and I managed to squirt
Bree. She was so engrossed in Faith she didn't seem to mind.

Pushing my hair out of my eyes I knelt down between Faith's legs and began to
greedily eat my second dessert of the day. It didn't take me long until I'd
cleared a hole, and realising how cold Faith would be I made sure that my
tongue spent some time in her slot, bringing her clit back to full health.

It didn't take long before Faith was bucking away. Juice started to flow from
her pussy intermixing with the ice-cream and sauce. Normally there is a zesty
tang to pussy juice, this time it was more a chocolately, raspberry tang.
Tasty, still...

I finished the ice-cream and moved upwards to savour the sauce, which was
covering Faith's body. It became a race between Bree and I over whom could
eat the most. I won...

Bree stood up and walked over to the trifle bowl, as I continued to clean
Faith's body, which with jam, chocolate, ice-cream and some love juice was
both sticky and tasty.

Bree was just starting to talk about trifle, when Buffy called cut. She
called Faith over and whispered something in her ear. Faith grinned wickedly,
and then spoke quietly in my ear. My face too lit up in a smile.

"Sorry, action," called Buffy and Bree continued on her monologue about

"Now unlike other foods, where a small amount is best, with trifle you'll
want to use the full bowl."

With that she tipped it over my head, through the spray of custard, jelly and
cream I saw Bree give a look of pain, as large portions of the food missed me
and landed on the floor. I think they may edit out her expression in the
final show...

Before she could move to start nibbling away Faith and myself picked up the
second bowl of trifle, which was sitting on the sideboard.

Bree could see what was coming and gave a shriek (I think that could be
translated as 'I want more money for this').. It did her no good as trifle
cascaded down her hair, onto her face and shoulders before slithering down
her body to land in a gooey mess on the floor.

She looked at us in shock for a second, before suddenly smiling (she's not a
natural smiler is Bree, but it has to be said when she does her normal stern
look is replaced by something quiet angelic). She then turned to the camera,
"I should have been expecting that shouldn't I?"

I love trifle almost as much as chocolate and so I didn't waste much time
with starting to eat at it. Starting at the top I chased the food as it slid
down Bree, leaving custard patterns on her flesh. I stopped once I got to her
apron, lifted in up and went for the naked twat underneath to give Bree a
Julie special. Food or no food, Bree was going to get an orgasm.

Faith had lowered herself on the floor, and using the wet floor for she
slid gracefully between my crouching legs and began to lap at the food as it
dripped off me. Her hunger for food was quickly sated and she moved her head
slightly up, so that she could start to give my pussy another wake-up call.
And, boy, did it wake up. Faith is definitely one of the best lickers it's
been my pleasure to sit on. She used a few tricks which the half of my brain
not in heaven, stored for later use.

I however, still had my duty to the cook and after a bit of teasing just to
bring Bree up to speed, I slammed my tongue deeply between her lips and
feasted on her clit. Bree orgasmed with a scream, and her juice intermingled
with trifle. Whilst trifle flavoured cum isn't as nice as chocolately cum, I
still felt a rush of pleasure as I drank it down.

"Okay cut," Buffy called. The three of us disentangled ourselves and looked
around at the messy kitchen floor. Bree started to clean it up straight away,
as me and Faith headed for the shower.

"So, how did you find that?" Buffy asked as she followed us.

"Good" I replied, "even better than Mom's desserts..."
_ _ _

If you have any comments on this or any other of my stories, e-mail me at:
lipsticklesbian72 at


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