Don't read if under 18 or illegal in your little corner of the world, like
you'll listen. This should appear only on Pal's archive site, through Pal's
yahoo group, on Pal's Forum... well, it basically should be wherever Pal's
stuff is. Also at the Grey Archive, and some other places they might end up,
they know who they are. And if/when I make a site, there too.

This story contains M/F, oral, anal, and romance. If you don't swing that
way, stop reading. This is a PARODY, PARODY, PARODY; I don't own any of the
characters, just "borrowing" them for the sake of the story. I AM USING
WITHOUT PERMISSION OF SQUARESOFT, either of North America, Europe, or Japan,
or another subsidiaries I am currently not aware of. So don't sue me. Please,
I only have a computer and one of those toy dogs that bounce their heads up
and down, it isn't worth it.

What do you know, no sooner than had I taken finger to board had I a story,
a no sooner than a story had I on the Archive of Grey than did TUG start.
Although in all fairness, it sucks :P Alright, part duex, and I expect you
want sex. Sure, we got your sex, but the real question is do you got my
email? Hey, maybe it's me, but is Robo sounding more like Data? Guess I'm
watching too much Next Generation, Damn you TNN and your Trek Marathons!

* denotes thought

Chrono Trigger: Tidings Of Comfort And Joy Part 2 - Difficult Times,
Difficult Positions
by Some Random Bastard

"What am I gonna do?" Marle muttered to herself, pacing across the room. She
had already done everything she could think of. She tried to learn how to
play chess, but gave up and played checkers with Robo. *I beat him four to
three, maybe Robo isn't so smart as Lucca keeps telling us* she thought. She
kicked a rock, venting her frustration on the local geography.

There was little in the way of **ANYTHING** for her to do anymore, and it
had only been a mere two hours since Chrono and Lucca had gone. She let out
a frustrated sigh and sat down on a soft area on the floor. She couldn't
think of a thing to do, she hated books and she didn't feel like hearing
a story, besides of which she wasn't even sure if Robo actually could with
his mechanical problems.

Marle's frustration was quickly replaced with puzzlement as she heard a loud
humming noise from Robo. "Robo, what in the heck is that noise?" she asked
the now almost dormant seeming robot.

"Marle, it would seem that there is a bump in my leg. Apparently when
anything tries to go through it ends up going into the bump and making the
noise." Robo said.

"Well can you -do- anything about it?" she shot at him, covering her ears.

"I am afraid that my current malfunctions have impaired my ability to self
recover. Perhapos if you help me by smoothing it out then the noise will
cease" Robo said.

"Alright, where is it" she said, annoyed.

"Over here, on my upper leg." He said. She looked at his leg, it was indeed
partially warped. She removed her hands from her ears, cringing at the loud
noise as she used her hands to try to smooth over the area. Not all at once,
but eventually she noticed that she was rubbing his upper legs, almost as
if she was trying to arouse him. She began to giggle, trying to suppress
outright laughter.

"What, if I might ask, is just so funny?" Robo asked, confused at the young

"It's just..." she started saying, then burst out laughing "Nuh, nothing" she

"I must insist" he said.

"It's just, well that's where know" she said, slightly blushing.

"I'm afraid I don't know" he said.

"It's where your boy parts are, well would be I guess, since you're not
really a boy" Marle said.

"I must correct you Marle, I do indeed have, as you put it, boy parts" Robo

"No way!?!" Marle said, her eyes as big as dinner plates.

"I'm afraid I do indeed." Robo said.

"Naw, you couldn't" she started saying "You're just fooling me, well I won't
be tricked that easy!" Marle said, indignant.

"If you wish, I can prove it" he said.

"How, by whipping it out?" Marle said, sarcastically.

"Unless you have an objection" Robo said. Being a robot, he was not born with
the typical Christian morality of wearing clothing or of having sex. Whomever
programmed him had only left the programming to work if someone approached
him about sex, it did not give him a sense of knowing when or when not to
expose himself.

"Oh yeah, come on then, I bet you can't!" she said, sticking out her tongue.

"Very well" Robo said, waiting a moment as a small mechanism opened in his
crotch. Out came a relatively small member, only 3 inches long and barely 3/4
of an inch thick.

"That's it?" Marle said, trying once more to suppress her laughter, and
finding once more it is impossible.

"It is capable of increased growth, I must however be given set parameters"
he said.

"Um, saywhat?" she said, her amusement replaced by confusion.

"I can increase the width and length of my shaft dependant upon what is asked
of me" he said.

"Oh really?" she said, a devious look coming onto her face. "And you can grow
to any size?"

"I can, within some reason. I cannot, for example, grow to the size of a
tree. However I am capable of reaching and exceeding normal human sizes"

"Alright then, grow" she said, staring at his member and waiting to watch it,
as though it were some miraculous creation. Then again, maybe it was for a
bored girl alone with the robot.

"Oh, uh, alright, like, this long and this wide" she said, trying to picture
it for the robot.

"It would be best if you were to give me real numbers, I am capable of using
both the standard metric and the old English systems of measurement" he said.

"Oh, uh, ok, how about uh, god I don't know, an inch wide by...9 inches
long?" she asked. She watched in amazement as it seemed to just grow, there
wasn't any explanation. She could feel herself start to get moist at the idea
of having sex with the android in front of her.

"Are you satisfied?" Robo said.

"Of course not" she said, the muttered "...I haven't even fucked it yet" she

"What was that?"

"Oh, uh nothing." She said, temporarily surprised. "Hey, if I ask you, can
you promise not to tell anyone what happened?" she asked.

"I am capable of keeping secrets from anyone who asks, however if someone
were to access my hard drive manually, I have a prompt that allows me to
answer any questions correctly, assuming someone has the mistress password
for me" he said.

"The what now?"

"The mistress password. When I was devised, I was created to help as a
diversion for women. However, in order to repair me without compromising
important data regarding whatever goals whoever owned me had, I have been
built in with an automatic way to stop it, called a mistress password.
When I am shutdown, only that will allow me to restart."

"So lemme get this straight, some horny chicks from the future came up with
you to be part computer part love toy?" she asked.

"I have been programmed with over one thousand different programs for sex,
including the complete book of the Kama Sutra. I was designed with the
thought of a female crew so that they wouldn't be forced to subvert to
lesbianism to find an erotic release." Robo said.

"Oh, alright." She said, pondering a moment, then said "C-can I touch it?"
she asked, in her nicest pretty pretty sweet princess voice.

"You are welcome to do whatever you wish with it" Robo said. Lucca got on
her knees and inspected his member. It was a black color, shiny; it seemed
to be almost lubricated. The member was shaped just like a real penis, it
had discernable tip even with an opening. As she placed her dainty white
hands upon the robot's rod, she felt an almost electronic response to it,
although as she moved her hands across the rod it acted like a real person's
would. As she moved her hand at the tip, her index finger for a second
glanced the opening, leaving in it's trail a small strand of sticky white
colored goo. *Oh My God! Precum!" she though, moving her index finger to her
mouth to taste it. Surprisingly, it tasted just like Chrono's semen.

"R-robo, do you mind if we...?" she asked, looking up at his smooth, metallic

"If we what?"

"If we fuck, god for a robot you are pretty stupid!" she said, annoyed.

"Very well, what program would you like to start?"


"As I stated earlier, I have over 1000 different programs for sex" he said.

"Uhm, I don't really know. Can't you just do the thinking and let me worry
about the sex?" she asked, half aroused and half annoyed.

"As you wish Marle" Robo said.

Marle let her tongue out of her mouth, tasting Robo's member. His member
itself seemed to be rubbery in texture, but it didn't taste it at all. As she
slowly licked up and down his shaft, she could feel what seemed to be more
blood rushing to his robocock, almost exactly what happened to Chrono. She
pushed her ponytail back behind her, and let her petite scarlet lips descend
upon his metallic meat. In the back of her mind she knew it didn't matter
what she did to Robo, since he was a robot, which means she didn't have to
worry about getting him off, but she still had an indescribable desire to
give Robo oral stimulation.

Chrono was about the same size as Robo, so Marle found herself almost used to
the size. Still she methodically took her time, teasing Robo as she did to
Chrono. Her absent mind omitted the fact that Robo himself was incapable of
becoming teased. As she moved her head up and down, she could feel the drops
of precum slip out the head. She used her tongue expertly, gently zig zagging
it from tip to base.

She slowly increased her speed, bringing her head closer and closer to his
crotch with each motion. Little by little she sped herself up, going faster
and faster at each shift. Soon she was bobbing her head up and down faster
than a heavy metal fan at a gwar concert.

"Preparing for orgasm in T-Minus 10 seconds" An automated alert came from
somewhere in Robo's stomach. Marle prepared herself; she loved the taste of
semen ever since she first gave Chrono head so long ago. "T-Minus 5
seconds...4...3...2...1" came the loudspeaker.

Suddenly she felt the entire shaft pulsate suddenly. She heaved her head up
just in the nick of time, because not a moment later he exploded, blowing a
pretty big load of synthetic semen right into her mouth. Marle played with
the stuff, it was stronger, much stronger than Chrono's, and with a different
taste, a little muskier, but she still liked it. She played a moment more
before she gulped the entire load, letting Robo come out with a loud pop.

"Mmmm" Marle said, wiping her lips clean from her own saliva and Robo's
semen. "How did you cum like that?"

"My body is capable of making a compound called synthetic semen. While it is
almost identical to a male human's semen, it is not capable of getting a
woman pregnant, nor is it capable of receiving or transmitting any sexually
transmitted diseases." Robo said.

"Oh, neat. Hey, how long until you're good for another go?" she asked,
grinning with her big anime eyes shining.

"I am capable of reproducing six times per hour, at the current rate of
synthetic semen use."

"So you have five loads still sitting in that belly of yours?" Marle asked,
her mind already thinking up a fiendishly devilish plan.

"I do still have 5 more rounds of synthetic semen left. Each is one sixth of
a standard metric liter, or 1 quart and 1.8 ounces."

"Can you use it all up at the same time?" she asked, becoming anxious as to
what might happen next.

"I can."

"All right!" she yelled "Robo, I want you to use your full force. And I do
mean full" she said with a wink.

"As you command Marle."

"Good" she said, taking his member in her hand. Unlike a normal human being,
he hadn't deflated at all. She wiped the sweat from her brow, and slowly
disrobed, peeling the clothes off her being. She felt her body quiver with
anticipation. She was already soaked inbetwixt her legs.

She took a step towards the android and began to lower her body on top of his
member. Slickened already by her very own emitted spit, as well as her own
pussy juice, she was able to easily guide his member in her. She moaned as
she felt the tip of the head penetrate her body.

She lowered her body onto the massive metal meat, crying out in pleasure as
she forced more of his robocock into her body. As his android appendage
pressed forward, she began to pinch her nipples. Her body started to become
covered as sweat as she could feel herself swelling up to an orgasm. She
threw her bow sweaty ponytail behind her head, the blond mass flying behind
her only serve to arch her body, forcing more of Robo's rod into her.

Robo took the opportunity to take an active part in the sex, he began to set
his vibration control. He started at the lowest setting, and observed as
Marle's breathing shortened. Without knowing it she had gotten Robo's entire
length in her body, and Robo was now using his own body to fuck her.

"Oh yeah, fuck me with your big cock" Marle said, in-between gasps. "Oh god
it's so big" she moaned, playing with her nipples. Robo set the vibration up
to the highest level, watching as the human in front of him was going through

With a great squeal of delight, Marle dropped her body on his member, pushing
with all the force in her body as much as she could as she felt her entire
body flushed with pleasure. As the torrential orgasm ripped through her body
she felt more excited than she had ever been in her life. Every inch of her
body reeled in unimaginable pleasure as could feel her body convulse around
his throbbing member.

"Preparing for orgasm in T-Minus 10 seconds" came out the same automated
alert from Robo's stomach. "T-Minus 5 seconds...4...3...2...1" said the
voice. Suddenly she could feel jet after jet of hot synthetic semen shoot
into her, to her it felt like it was simply filling her up. *Wait a minute!*
she thought, remembering that she had told him to blow nearly a whole liter
of cum in one go.

She lifted her body up, feeling the hot mix of sweat, semen, and her own
juices drip down her legs. She brought her down to Robo's crotch, his shaft
still shooting out jets of semen. One of the jets caught her face, coming on
her right eye. She froze for a moment, the hot cream on face surprised her.
Before she had a chance to react, another blast of semen hit her in the face,
this one just to the side of her mouth, and a third blast, this time hanging
off her nose down onto her lips. By now, rather than fighting it, Marle was
enjoying her facial. Stream after steam of hot white goo covered her face,
making her already beautiful white complexion even whiter. After what seemed
like an eon of straight, continuous, almost rhythmic shots, Robo finished up,
his body sounding like that of an engine whining down.

Marle sat down a moment, feeling her temporary complexion begin to solidify.
As she began to come down from the natural high she experienced from the
strongest and most pleasing orgasms she ever had, she sat for a moment, start
naked, thinking about what just happened to her. Despite the obvious physical
gratification she just got, somehow it didn't seem right. She would never in
her right mind want a facial, she liked sex but she wasn't some slut.

"R-Robo, um, have I been acting...weird?"

"I do not know how to answer the question, by what do you mean weird?"

"Like...not myself"

"You have been acting differently, however it is no doubt due to the
pheromones in the air."

"The fearamons? That some new kind of video game?"

"Pheromones are natural bodily secretions that are designed to respond to the
brain, stimulating certain erogenous stimuli within the body."

"W-what? Why are they around? I'm the only person around here?"

"When I begin the sexual stimulus programs I automatically begin emitting
them because of their nature to increase the pleasure of the receiver during
the program. The affects begin to wear off immediately afterwards, although
they can take at most 2 hours to subside."

Marle sat for a moment, thinking. That was the best screw in her life, and as
long as she didn't tell anyone then who would know? Robo would keep it secret
anyways, would he? "Robo, I'm gonna go for a swim, I'll be back soon," she
said, walking out of sight.

Robo yelled back to her "Marle, watch out for monsters!" before she went off.
Marle headed down the trail towards the river. She knew that this was too
far from the village for anyone there to be, and most of the monsters around
hated the water. Soon enough she found the river, it's pale blue color
shining in the moonlight. As she jumped in, she could feel the warm water
cover her body. She looked up at the skies, the stars, most of which were in
her time anyways, filled the clear night sky. *I wonder where Chrono is right
now* she thought before she closed her eyes and let the river sooth her tired

And that ends that. I'll be honest with you, I expected more out of myself,
I really did. Well I hoped you liked, next is the Chrono/Lucca chapter, then
the funolopoly that will ensue. And yes I just made that word up, but you
gotta admit it sounds like something great.

(This file was created by [email protected], so send all flames
there. Don't use without permission, and don't claim it's yours. Spread
freely as long as this and the disclaimer above as well as the story
entirely are untouched, unedited, and worshipped for the holy script they
are not.)

Critiques, comments, flames, any responses are welcome, if they are pro,
then I'll consider making more. Don't be a jerk, send me a simple 2-minute
or less message saying, hey, this was good. Thanks. Wow, so hard.


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