Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters of Desperate Housewives. They
belong to Marc Cherry. I'm only borrowing them.

Author's note: Despite the title, there's not much Susan in this one. The
series has diverged slightly from when I first thought of it, which was to be
pure Susan/Julie. I think my new direction is an improvement on that.

Desperate Housewives: Desperately Seeking Susan Episode 3 (ff,OFC,anal)
by LL

Mom has one rule (well two if you count if you count the one about not using
her expensive perfume without asking). And that's I can't fuck her on school
nights. I can't see why - a bit of horizontal jogging before I started on my
homework would have done wonders for my concentration. Though as I always got
A+ without getting myself naked and licked, I could see why Mom hadn't gone
for that argument.

Taking the positive route I persuaded Mom that just because I couldn't give
her a plunging there was no reason I had to remain celibate. I should use
week-days to broaden my sexual horizons, perhaps learn some new tricks that
we could then put into good use. Mom had moaned for a bit (though as I was
thrusting a dildo into her pussy at the time - the moans may have had another
reason). Eventually she realised she didn't have a leg to stand on (they were
balanced on my shoulders at the time) and agreed (her exact words being "Oh,
God, yesssss, yesssss!").

I already had my eye on a potential, errr, special friend. Annalise was a
cute member of the cheerleading squad, with a beautiful smile, gorgeous blue
eyes and a pair of titties that were so big that they must have caused her
major balance problems.

Of course in most stories, geeky girls are ignored, humiliated and otherwise
rejected by the cheerleaders. And as a straight A student (and I'm damn proud
of it) I was a full on member of the geek club (without the glasses and
acne). However, I'd always got along with most of the cheerleaders, well with
the exception of that bitch Charlie Watson.

Perhaps it was because of my charming and sunny personality, perhaps because
I can never quiet resist helping people with their science projects and
partly because I'd been neighbours with the head cheerleader Danielle van de
Kamp since we were tots.

Danielle and me tend to rub along pretty well for most of the time. Of course
it helps that I have plenty of blackmail material for the times when she does
become too uppity. Like the time I caught her brother, Andrew, showing her
his boy bits. Nothing too remarkable about that, plenty of small children do
it, you may say. Well most of them don't try to suck it to see if it tastes
nice and most of them aren't fifteen at the time.

Being friends I have no problems with telling her my secrets and I'd confided
in her that I was a lesbian - it was the easiest way to come out. Though I'd
kept quiet about some things - I wasn't sure Mom would have liked the entire
town to know who was hopping into her bed Friday nights.

So I was quiet happy to mention to her that I had my eye on one of her
cheerleading team. Danielle was quiet insulted that I hadn't my eye on all of
them, as she pointed out they have the nicest tits and ass in the school, and
most of them have attractive faces as well. I had to admit she had a point,
but whilst a cheerleader orgy sounded fun, I wasn't sure I could pull it off
(though I'll keep it in mind for later).

I eventually managed to get Danielle to stop extolling the virtues of her
team, including the fact that the bitch, Charlie Watson, screams like a
rabbit when she cums (either Danielle is getting her metaphors mixed or I
may need to close my eyes and do Charlie just to find out what a screaming
rabbit sounds like). I explained that the particular cheerleader I had my
eye on was Annalise.

"I'll help," said Danielle being unexpectedly helpful, "for a price,"
sounding more like the Danielle I know.

"What's the price?"

"I've had sex with one or two boys," huh, understatement of the year, the
only male in the school she hasn't fucked with is Ralph and Bob, and that's
cause they're gay (and now I think about it she may have tricked Bob into a
quick game of hide the sausage when he was drunk), "but I never tried any of
this girl-girl action."

This sounded interesting, I thought, but let her carry on.

"If I help you with Annalise I'll want to have a quick kiss with you."

Now this sounded like an interesting offer, so I immediately refused. I know
Danielle's bargaining skills and she upped the offer. Eventually we settled
on me being able to buttfuck her with my strap-on.

"So what's the plan?" I asked.

"Well, my Mom's away on Thursday night, so I thought a quick pizza, some

"With Annalise."

Danielle's plan, like Danielle, was simplicity itself, "Oh, you just ask

"I'm not sure that'll work," I said.

"It always works with me," responded Danielle, "I just ask someone if they
want to fuck me and they all say yes." With logic like that I could see why
Danielle had risen to the dizzy heights of chief cheerleader.

We thrashed the plan around some more and eventually got a semi-workable

Danielle would ask her.

* * *

To say I had limited confidence in Danielle's plan is a like saying Everest
is a bit of a walk. So I was rather surprised when it seemed to work.

The first inkling I had was when I was in the library at lunch and Annalise
sat herself down opposite, "I hear you want to fuck me?" was her opening

As she was smiling, rather than snarling, when she said it I guessed that
either she was up for a quick experiment or else she found the whole thing

Still, I thought it best to reply positively, "Oh God, yes."

She continued smiling, "I'll make you a deal. I've got this history project
on the War of 612."

"War of 1812" I corrected her.

"Eighteen, six, I always get confused by these twenty four hour clocks.
Anyway if you want to come round and do it tomorrow I'll let you kiss my

Her bargaining skills were as strong as Danielle, so not only did I get to do
her history project, I got to do her English homework as well. Oh, and she
agreed I could fuck her in the ass.

* * *

Mom took the fact I was going out on a date very well. She sat me down and
explained to me the facts of life and that I should take precautions. When I
reminded her that I was gay she explained that she had been saving up this
chat for years and she wasn't going to let facts get in the way of
mother-daughter bonding. Er, like the fact I've taken you up the ass, Mom?

Anyway to skip ahead I did Annalise's History and English homework and was
about to start happily on her Science when she decided that if she didn't do
anything I'd be quiet happily there all night.

So to grab my attention she took off her top, threw her bra in the corner and
slapped her tits on the table. I mentioned they were big didn't I? Well, when
there sitting on top of a science textbook inches from your face they looked
even bigger than when constrained by a cheerleader top.

I know when I'm beat, so I closed the exercise book and grabbed hold of the
two beauties. Annalise gave a little squeal as I proceeded to give them a
good licking. She was obviously an old-pro at doing this with boys, as she
kept making me switch from one to another, which was interesting to say the

Not wanting to tire my tongue too much before the main course I pulled away
and whipped off my own sweater. I'd taken the precaution of not wearing a
bra, so my little puppies sprang free without any awkward fumbling. Now I
think my tits are average size and I rather like them, but from the squeal
of delight Annalise gave you'd think that I'd burst out a pair of melons.
Still it's nice to be appreciated and Annalise needed no instructions before
diving right in.

From the way she slurped and suckled at them either she was a fast learner or
she'd done this before. I made a mental note to ask Danielle what they did at
cheerleader training. Still I didn't mind as she licked, kissed and teasingly
bit them.

Anyway eventually I had enough of the starter, and detached her from my bosom
so that we could go into the living room and sit on the sofa. On the way we
divested ourselves of our remaining clothing, leaving a Hansel and Gretel
like trail of socks, panties and skirts between the two rooms.

I sat Annalise down comfortably and went in for the pussy. One thing I've
learnt from Mom is the need to tease, so I made sure that my tongue didn't
slip in her slot until she was practically crying for it. And then I went
for it.

It didn't take long before she came. But I never think once is enough, so I
ignored her screams of pleasure and dug in more. Annalise responded by
thumping the sofa with her fists and yelling incoherently, though I managed
to make out the words "God" and "Oh, my". I admit my hearing was slightly
stifled because she proceeded to wrap her legs round my head.

Eventually I had to give in or risk my tongue falling out. From the
whimpering of Annalise and the glazed look in her eyes I'm not sure she
could have taken much more. I licked juice from my lips and started to
kiss her heartily.

Luckily my lips on hers helped her recover quite quickly and she knelt down
to return the favour. I opened my legs to allow her easy access to my pussy.
She licked her lips and went straight down the hole. However her enthusiasm
and the fact she wasted no time in hitting the g-spot made up her lack of

I think I may have said a few thing myself as the cheerleader lapped away at
my bud. I'm certain I uttered `Mom', but luckily Annalise was too engrossed
to wonder why I was calling that out. Anyway I'm not sure she could have
heard me above her own slurps - she was certainly a noisy eater.

I let her find her own rhythm, which was fast, energetic and no-prisoners
taken. And enough to rouse me to several orgasms.

Eventually she withdrew her head and looked at me, "Tasty."

"Let me see," I said and kissed her, licking away my own juice from her
tongue. She had a point, there was a certain zesty tang to it.

"Now for pudding," I said.

Annalise looked at me, quizzically.

"Er, I have a certain thing for food metaphors. What I mean is now I'm going
to bang your ass."

"Goodie," said Annalise and planted herself on her hands and knees on the
rub, as I stepped into the harness.

"Just a minute, we can't let it go in unlubricated," I said.

"Have you got some lubricant?" Annalise asked.

I shook my head.

"oh" went Annalise, and then a bigger "Oh" as the penny dropped.

Now I was pretty sure Annalise had sucked cock before, and standing in front
of her as she deep-throated my dildo my assumptions proved correct. She
rocked back and forth her hands clasped on my ass cheeks, gulping it down
and forcing the back end of it against my pussy lips. Eventually I knew I'd
have to take her now or I'd be reduced to a quivering wreck before I even
entered her.

Annalise dropped back to her hands and knees and waggled her ass expectantly.
Luckily she soaked the dong enough that it wasn't hard to push it up her back
passage. And from the way she wriggled to make sure it slipped in as easy as
could be I could tell she wasn't an anal virgin either.

Of course she reinforced that view by giving me the ride of my life (well the
best since I'd buggered Mom on Sunday afternoon). We were soon whooping and
hollering, as I whacked it in. I gave her ass a few choice slaps, for no
reason other than I'd seen it in a porn movie a few days before. Still that
set Annalise off as she bucked back at me so energetically I had trouble
keeping in time with her.

It's better to give than receive and I gave it Annalise back with all my
strength. But eventually with so little stamina I could barely remain
standing I pulled out the cock and fell back on the sofa.

"Wow," went Annalise, "that was fucking fantastic. Do you want to do my
history project next week as well?"

* * *

On the walk to school the next morning I told Danielle that our plan had
worked. Her reply was typically Danielle in saying that when I didn't think
it would it was `hers' and now it had it was `ours'. Okay that may have been
accurate, still no need to point that out.

She also reminded me (and if I needed it) of my side of the bargain. We
arranged for me to come over the next Thursday.

As it was now Friday I had some time on my hands. I spent the weekend being
naked and naughty with Mom, and gave Annalise a return visit on Tuesday,
which left Monday and Wednesday with just me and my fingers. Goodness knows
how many men Danielle went through in the same time - probably double

* * *

On Thursday I told Mom I was going over to Danielle's for a bit. I didn't
tell her quite what I had in mind. I couldn't stand hearing the pep talk

Danielle had thoughtfully ordered a pizza, which we ate with gusto before
going to her room and getting down to the main business of the evening.

I'll say this for Danielle - she doesn't waste any time. By the time I had
slipped off my trainers and socks, she was stark naked and lying on her bed
kicking her feet with impatience.

"C'mon Julie, I want that cock in my ass."

I continued stripping, "Its usual to do some foreplay first, perhaps whisper
some sweet nothings at me," I replied.

"I'm horny like a fax," whined Danielle mixing her metaphors again, "You're
very nice." As sweet nothings I'd heard better from Doctor Crippen (he's our
German teacher by the way), still for Danielle it was practically a
declaration of eternal love - well until tomorrow morning anyway.

Still never say I'm not a considerate lover as I slipped on my toy and stood
in front of Danielle so she could suck it. She gave it a cursory suck and
then pulled her head back and pleaded, "Fuck my ass, now..."

I jumped on the bed and crouched over Danielle as I prepared to slip it in.

"You'll be the first up my ass" she said in a dreamy voice. Yeah, I bet you
say that to all the boys, I thought. You've had more cock up your backdoors
entrance Liberace. Still it was nice she pretended.

I pushed the cock in. With limited lubricant I had to push hard, Danielle's
pushing and shifting gave lie to claims about her virginity. But from her
moans of pleasure I guessed that she didn't mind the force.

Once it was in I began to bang her hard, pushing it in as deeply as I could
and letting Danielle moan and gasp and scream as the dong filled her.

Suddenly the door opened, and framed against it was a redhead Milf,
"Danielle, Julie!!!" she gasped, at roughly the same time I said "Mrs Van de
Kamp" and Danielle cried "Mom".


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