Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters of Desperate Housewives. They
belong to Marc Cherry. I'm only borrowing them... Nor do I own any Buffy the
Vampire slayer characters who might also wander into this instalment - they
belong to Joss Whedon.

Desperate Housewives:
Desperately Seeking Susan Episode 8 (Ff,f-mast,inc,exhib)
by LL

It's a strange place, suburbia. On the outside its full of ordinary families,
sprinkling their lawns and painting their picket fences white. Underneath
it's a seething den of lust and sexual adventuring.

Take me for example. Only a few weeks ago I'd have thought I was the only
lesbian in Wisteria Lane. But since then I've had a threesome with Bree and
Danielle, butt-banged Gabby after a nude photo-session, had an orgy with some
of the cheerleaders. Oh, and had carnal relations with my Mom; more than

And if that wasn't enough I had a sneaking suspicion that Edie Britt was also
a lesbian. Exhibit one - she danced in a lesbian strip bar. Exhibit two - she
was moving in with Gabby. Exhibit three - she'd slept with my Mom.

It had taken a lot of prodding to get my Mom to tell me a bit more about Edie
(and most of that prodding was my fingers between her pussy lips). Still it
was worth it (and not just for the look in Mom's face as she came). And I
persuaded Mom to write her story (exclusively on the TSSA website if you want
to look).

I was certainly interested in that they'd met at ‘Juicy Lucy's'. From what
I'd heard it wasn't a place that good girls go. Though, if you've read my
previous stories you may have realised I'm not a good girl. However, it was
one hell of a walk and in a place not well served by buses; so as I didn't
lack partners, I'd never bothered to go.

With a bit of badgering I persuaded Mom that we ought to take a drive that
way on Saturday afternoon and pop in. Mom, at first, try to dissuade me -
unfortunately her tactic of saying it was fill of older MILFs watching naked
women was probably not the smartest move.

Finally she gave in, my promise to give her a stuffing for Sunday Roast may
have been the clincher to the deal.

So on Saturday me and Mom dressed up in some of our sluttier clothes, (Mom's
were a lot more slutty than mine - she'd got bigger tits and can pull it off
better) and headed out.

After about a twenty-minute drive we turned off the highway and drove up a
narrow, tree-lined road. ‘Juicy Lucy's' was a further five-minute drive and
I was almost wetting myself with excitement by the time we pulled into the
car-park. I must admit it was a surprise the number of other vehicles which
were parked, judging by the numbers the club must attract women from all
over the State.

Mom pulled out her purse and gave two ten dollar bills to the cashier. The
cashier looked up at Mom, "Hi, Mrs Meyer. Third time this week."

Mom blushed and I raised my eyebrows at her quizzically. Mom's turning out
to be a real sex fiend - not that I'm complaining. The woman didn't seem to
notice either of our reactions as she continued, "And who's this pretty young

I tried to look cute and innocent at the compliment, not easy when your
T-shirt slips down so low your breasts are almost falling out and your
mini-skirt barely covers your hips.

Mom blushed again, "I don't suppose you'd believe it's my daughter?"

The cashier laughed, "No, I wouldn't. Though if you do have a daughter as
good looking bring her by for me."

I took Mom's hand and followed her into the club. "Three times?" I whispered
in her ear and she had the good grace to blush again.

However any thoughts I had about continuing to tease Mom were swiftly brushed
aside. Inside it was just wall to wall poontang. And despite Mom's claims it
wasn't just MILF. Grannies rubbed shoulder (literally) with college girls,
and there were fat girls, thin girls, big tits, small tits, redheads,
blondes, brunettes (and a couple with no hair at all). But she wasn't wrong
about the strippers - on the stage two of them gyrated sexily to a blast of
music, revelling in the appreciation of their audience.

I found a table and sat down, briefly answering when Mom asked whether I'd
like a drink, but otherwise keeping my eye on the stage.

Mom returned with the drinks, and I sipped at my coke still entranced by the
naked beauties on the stage. Mom was obviously also getting horny, as from
the corner of my eye I saw her unbutton her shorts and slide a hand in. I had
to admit that seemed a good idea, and I slipped one of my fingers beneath my
cotton panties and gently rubbed my own womanhood.

I was just bringing myself to a nice little orgasm when the two dancers gave
a final flourish and stepped off the stage. In their place came an MC, at
least I assumed she was the MC, as she was wearing a french maid's outfit
over which popped a pair of massive mammaries it was hard to be sure.

She led the applause for the two dancers, and then tapped her microphone,
"Afternoon ladies. Today is amateur day. If you've an urge to strip off and
show all us lovely ladies your booty, come and see me. Though I hope you
won't mind if I give you a squeeze just to road test you before the dance."

I looked at Mom, and nodded my head at the stage, "Go on, give it a go."

Mom blushed, "I can't I've already been on stage this week." I think I'm
going to have to ask some more searching questions to Mom, about what she
gets up to when I'm at school.

"Why don't you have a go?" she continued.

I paused. It wasn't something I'd ever considered before. Career wise my
heart was set on being a theoretical physicist (with a by-line in writing
monologues on medieval French literature), but one strip didn't mean I was
going to enter the porn industry. Against that I feel my looks and body
are decidedly average - despite being an honorary cheerleader I felt
self-conscious about getting up and stripping in front of an audience,
which whilst drunk, were likely to be discerning.

Mom gave me a smile of encouragement, "Go on honey. You'll be great."

That's the great thing about Mom, is that she gives me encouragement and
support. I mean, what other Mom, would encourage their daughter to strip
naked in front of a room full of strangers.

I nervously got up and went over to the announcer. A few other women were in
the queue before me, and I noticed that they definitely seemed to be better
equipped up top than I was. The announcer had a few words, with them before
sending them out back.

"Hi," she said as I sidled to the front of the queue. Before I could answer
she gave my backside a goose, and then slid a finger down my ass-crack
towards my pussy. I gave a quick shriek, part surprise, and part
satisfaction. She wasn't joking about the road testing.

"What's your name?"

"Julie... Julie Mayer," I stammered nervously.

She paused for a moment and thought, "Okay what about I introduce you as
Jules Juggs."

I looked down at my average sized titties, "Wouldn't that be false

She laughed, "Kid, in this business there's no such thing."

She gave my bottom a quick swat with her hand, "Go backstage and find
something to wear, or not to wear. I'll give you a call when it's your
turn to come on stage."

I walked into the changing room, a couple of women were already in their
picking out the sexiest outfits they could. Normally semi-nude women trying
on various bits of skimpy clothing would have me gagging at the bit. But,
now I was just too nervous and ignored the finely formed flesh around me
(stupid I know, that's how scary doing your first public striptease is).

I stripped down and put my clothes in a corner, under the guard of a sharp
eyed harridan who was making sure we didn't hide any of the club's clothes.
Where I'd have hidden them I'm not sure.

I eventually decided on a black leather outfit, panties, bra and a shapely
waistcoat which went over them. I decided not to go for the stiletto heals -
it would be embarrassing to trip over them and go stage diving into the
crowd. All the time I was dressing aware that my predecessors were being
called out to grateful screams.

Finally after what seemed an age (but was about twenty minutes) I heard the
MC call out, "Jules Juggs!!!!!"

I stepped out on stage to the boom of music, and as I walked a searchlight
shone on me, mercifully making the crowd seems no more than vague

As the music began to play, I gingerly began to wiggle. The crowd screamed,
luckily in appreciation and I began to feel a bit more relaxed. I slid down
the zipper of my waistcoat, gave a twirl and threw it into the corner.

The audience cheered, and I heard a few call of ‘get them out' (which I hoped
referred to my titties). Good things come to those who wait so I teased the
audience by bending over and wiggling my puppies at them, though the leather
kept them more firmly in place than I'd imagined.

Still it got a few wolf whistles, so not totally wasted. I then turned and
waggled my ass at the crowd, generating more noise. Still keeping my back to
them I slipped of the bra and then swung round, making sure I gyrated my top
as much as could to give my bosoms that extra bounce.

The crowd cheered and whooped and hollered. Feeling more confident I slipped
out of my panties and gave the audience a good look at my shaven twat. From
the sounds they were making they were pretty appreciative about that.

I was feeling pretty confident by now, so I thought I'd really give them
their money's worth. With one hand I slipped down to my pussy, and pried
apart my lips. I kept it open whilst I seductively licked at my other
finger, though whether any the crowd was looking at my top half at this
point was a moot point.

Then I slid in my middle digit and began to frig at myself furiously. It must
be the wanking in public, but the juice started flowing in next to no time.
As my finger expertly found my clit, I began to rock back and forth as I
stood, letting out little moans.

I continued to finger myself harder and faster, feeling the wetness sop my
finger and drip from my pussy to roll down my thighs. Faster and quicker I
moved. And as my groans increased, so did the shouts and screams from the
crowd. Finally I could take it no longer and screamed in pleasure as my main
orgasm hit me.

I removed my finger and licked it, I've always thought my juices taste rather
zesty. Then with a final curtsey I backed off the stage.

The MC swatted my naked ass as I passed her and went onto the stage to call
on the next stripper. I went into the back room and started to get dressed.

I was just slipping back into my T-shirt, when the door opened and in came a
blonde. I'd never met her, but I'd seen her in a few of Bree's 'specialist

"Hi, I'm Buffy," she offered me her hand which I shook.

"Julie," I replied.

"Not Jules Juggs, then," she grinned, "I gotta say you're a natural out

I blushed, but she continued, "and I'm an expert. I make porn films - you may
have heard of me; Summers' Productions. You interested in appearing in any?"

I shook my head, "I'm strictly amateur."

Buffy nodded, "That's a shame. Here's my card if you change your mind."

I took it and slipped it in my bag, then I made my goodbyes and fled back
to Mom.

As I sat down Mom gave my thigh a loving squeeze, "You were wonderful
sweetie. The best of them all. And the last bit... wow... I came without
even touching myself."

If she hadn't been touching herself before, Mom was certainly doing so now.
I watched as she fingered herself, then she leant over, "Let's go home. I
want you to fuck me."

Well, what can you do if your Mom want's you home, but agree. We fairly
rushed to the car and Mom almost did an impersonation of Starsky and Hutch
in getting out of that car-park.

We didn't make it home. In fact we only made a few hundred yards out of the
car-park before Mom pulled into a field, "Oh, Julie, fuck me now."

Well she is my Mom, so I was happy to comply. We stripped in a welter of
clothing (not as easy as you think in a small car) and then climbed into
the back (again not easy). Mom leant towards her bag and pulled out a
strap-on. I have a sneaking suspicion she may have planned this little
detour before we left - still I wasn't complaining.

As Mom lay back I struggled to put on the strap-on. It took me a few minutes,
and it wasn't made easier by the fact Mom was trying to lean forward and rub
my twat at the same time. Still, I managed it.

It was a bit of a squeeze, and I whilst it was alright as a bit of variety, I
was glad we were going home to a bed (and a sofa, and the kitchen floor and
the table etc). I guided it in to Mom's slot and began to gently fuck her.
Mom moaned in appreciation, and tried to throw her head back, but was stopped
by the car doors.

She did manage to wrap her legs round me and keep me balanced as I happily
plunged away, the shaft bashing against my own pussy. I rocked back and
forth, not giving her a wild thrashing, but a gentle, more leisurely

Mom evidently enjoyed the slow pace, as she cried out "Fuck me baby, that's
just right." I reached down and grabbed at her titties, massaging and
kneading them as I slowly bounced against her.

It may have been slower coming, but the result was the same. Mom started
screaming louder and louder, any cows in the fields must have fled thinking
they were about to be eaten by a wolf. Pussy juice splurged from her pussy,
soaking against my wet twat. Then Mom gave a final shout of "Yessssss" and
bucked hard against me as a monster orgasm hit her.

I pulled the wet toy from her slit and scrabbled back into the front. It took
Mom a few minutes to join me, but from the smile on her face she was well

When we got home I went to my room to change into something a little more
revealing for dinner. As I emptied my bag, I came across the business card.
I shrugged and put it in my drawer.


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