This story is based on the movie Dogma. I own nothing. This all belongs to
View Askew.

Snynopsis: Bartleby and Loki are two banished angels stuck on Earth. Azrael
the demon offered them a way to get back into heaven. The only catch: they'll
be unmaking existence as we know it. The angel Metatron contacts the Last
Scion-housed in the body of beautiful, cynical mortal Bethany Sloane who is
teamed up with Jay and Silent Bob to save the day. Enter the quick-witted yet
little known 13th Apostle Rufus and you've got a comedy of epic proportions.

Dogma: The Embracee (MF,MMF,oral,anal,hand)
by The Fan ([email protected])

Wisconsin, USA.

Bartleby stood in the middle of the Mall. He was watching his surroundings.
The mall was bustling with activity. Men walking around with their guy
friends and talking, teenage girls whispering and even shouting in their
endless chatter about clothes and boys and music and a whole bunch of other
useless stuff. He ignored them. He scanned the place, always looking for
his special one.

Finally, he saw what he was looking for. A woman walked by. She was tall,
easily six feet, with long black hair and blue eyes. Bartleby scanned her
with his angelic vision. Angel Eyes never missed anything and could see
right through mortals, body and soul.

The woman's name was Nancy Dwight. She was thirty-eight years old. She grew
up in North Dakota and had come to Wisconsin for college. It was where she
met her husband Peter. Nancy and Peter had been together for years. It was
a not so pleasant yet somewhat functional marriage. Still, twenty years of
marriage was something. Nancy had a son with her husband, a son named

Mitchell was the source of his parents's frustration. Kids these days.
Mitchell was into all sorts of dangerous activities. And he was only
fourteen. Nancy had come to buy her husband and son some gifts so that
they might become a family again. What she didn't know is that her
beloved hubby Peter O'Malley was a closet case of the worst caliber. He
had a lover who was none other than her cousin Robert Dwight, who was
married with children.

Bartleby could tell that there was so much in the woman's life that she did
not know. Usually, he would have felt nothing. Humans were always messing
with each other. But, he was bored. He decided to kill time before meeting
up with his Companion.

Bartleby approached the woman. "Hi, how are you doing?" he asked in his most
angelic voice.

"Hi." she said.

He hesitated a second. Then he said, "Shopping for the hubby and son?"

She looked at him, surprised. "Yeah."

Bartleby smiled. "I'm doing the same thing myself," he lied.

"Well, the wife and daughter, actually."

She looked at him. "Well, that's nice. It's good to see a man being dutiful
once in awhile."

Bartleby grinned. "The things we do for the ones we love."

They walked from place to place. At the bookstore, he saw her pick a couple
of interesting books. A Walk To Remember. Always a good choice of books.

"What do you think?" she asked, showing him the book.

"If I were a boy, and I used to be," he said with a grin.

"I'd want to read A Day In the Life of Spiderman, or Superman/Aliens II: God
War. The complete quadrilogy."

Nancy looked at him. "You're right. My son loves comic books."

Bartleby smiled. He picked up "Rebel In His Arms" and some Nancy Drew books
for his 'wife'. They continued to shop. After the bookstore, she went to
Macys where he ran into her again and surprised her by his taste and
knowledge. He asked her to have dinner with him.

"Just a meal among married shoppers." he said.

She hesitated, and he could feel her thinking about her husband and how that
would look to him. But he was always playing golf with her cousin Robert so
that serves him right. Bartleby saw almost everything she thought about, that
was one of his powers as an Angel and he grinned when she agreed to have
dinner with him.

They sat down, eating at the local Chuck E. Cheese and talked about stuff.
Current stuff. The Gay Marriage thing in Massachusetts. The Hostage Situation
in Iraq. The alarming number of divorces in America.

"Sometimes, I feel like nothing ever goes right." she said.

Bartleby looked at her and willed his features to show compassion and
understanding. An easy trick. "We do what we can. Some things just can't be

She nodded and asked him about his line of work. Bartleby anticipated that.
Oh, he could not tell her that he was an Angel in the Armies of the Lord.
Well, a fallen Angel anyway. He had been kicked out of heaven since that
time when he refused to destroy a city full of humans because God commanded
it. He and his best friend and fellow angel Loki were cast out of Heaven.
They were sent to Earth and doomed to remain there for the entire span of
human history.

"I am a consultant for a global firm," he said. "Haven Inc. It is a big
company started by a guy named Godsend."

"Oh," she said. "I teach phys. ed at Manheim high school."

Bartleby kept talking to her. He could tell that she was lonely. It had been
more than three months since she and her husband 'made love'. She assumed the
problem was with her and joined the local Health club. She never suspected
her beloved Peter O'Malley of being a queer. In her mind, he just didn't fit
the mode.

It was child's play to seduce her. Bartleby decided to use his powers just to
keep things interesting. First, though, he willed the heavens to let loose a
mighty snowstorm. All of a sudden. He caused the lights to go out of the

Then, he played the part of the heroic man leading everybody out. Somehow,
her car was effed up but ever the gentleman he offered her a ride in
someone's Porsche. He drove the car and somehow, they broke down next to
a sleazy motel. They checked in.

"Just until the storm clears." he said.

"Of course." she agreed.

The motel was packed so they had to share a room. He sat on the bed while
she undressed and went to take a shower. She had a nice body. The result of
working out at least three times a week. Not quite a beach body but nice.
Nancy went in the shower. He could hear her thoughts. Part of her was scared
that she was in a motel room with a man she had just met. Another part was
telling her to shush and enjoy it. This was the most exciting thing to happen
to her in ages. Her husband never showed any interest in her and her son was
almost a stranger to her. He looked at Nancy, a vision of beauty as she
walked out of the shower. She wore only a light blue towel. Her eyes shone
when she saw him. And, somehow, the towel fell to her ankles.

"Oh, I'm sorry." she said.

"Don't be," said Bartleby. "You look beautiful, Nancy." He got up and picked
up a second towel which he wrapped around her. "There you go."

Nancy looked into his eyes. "Thanks."

A little while later...

Bartleby kissed Nancy and let her undress him. She unbuttoned his shirt and
unzipped his pants. Bartleby let a spark of what he truly was show. A certain
glow about his skin and light in his eyes. She was amazed.

"You are so beautiful." she said. She kissed him on the lips and he pulled
her close.

"This is your time." he said.

He took her to bed and began to kiss her neck and caress her back. He licked
her full breasts and suckled them, then he rubbed her belly. Bartleby kissed
his way down to her pelvis and began to lick her there, nice and slow. His
tongue and fingers caused exquisite sensations in her. She moaned under his
touch. Never before had she been made love to that way. All she had known was
her boyfriend Clark back in high school and then the very handsome and now
distant Peter O'Malley, her current husband.

Bartleby sent little waves of pleasure rocking through her body, arousing
every fiber of her being. It was child's play for an angel's touch to affect
mortals. He caused her senses to sharpen, her breathing to quicken and all
of her senses to awaken. Mortals went through life slumbering. He awakened
her. She felt his tongue and fingers darting in and out of her pussy and
screamed in pleasure. Bartleby took his fingers and entered her ass, toying
with it by turning her fingers all the way around.

"OH, BART!!!" she moaned.

Bartleby grinned and continued his touching, rubbing, probing, kissing and
licking of various parts of her flesh. His sleek fingers toyed with her
pussy while he stuck his tongue up her ass. Nancy was now on all fours and
Bartleby's tongue in her ass was driving her crazy. In and out it went,
licking that ass like it was the sweetest thing he ever tasted. Bartleby
replaced his tongue with his fingers in her ass and resumed eating her out.
His tongue snaked around in her pussy, tasting her and licking her gentle
folds and he bit her sensitive clit before sticking his tongue back in like
a little spear. Nancy felt something odd inside, she screamed as an unknown
yet extremely pleasurable sensation rocked her body.


Bartleby knew this to be the big O for her. Her very first orgasm. He let
her ride it down. He could feel eevrything she could feel. Every touch and
sensation. It was oozing out of her and into him. Then, he held her in his
arms. Nancy lay in Bartleby's arms, shaking. Never before had she felt
anything like this. This man who aroused every fiber of her being. He had
awakened her, body and soul. She just lay there, looking at him.

"You're welcome." he said.

Bartleby willed the heavens to clear and the sun poured in through the
clouds, melting the snow. He lay there next to Nancy. She wanted to touch
him but he would not let her.

"This was all for you, my dear. I derive my pleasure from you. It is
important that you feel, not I."

Nancy looked at him. She had never met a man who cared about his lovers so
much that he placed their desires before his own. She became determined to
return the favor and Bartleby insisted that she did not. A bit disappointed
but very excited, she put her clothes back on. Then, she took a look outside.

"Wow, the sun is back."

"Yes," said Bartleby.

He walked downstairs with her and put her in a cab.

"I want to see you again." she said.

He just smiled. "You will, someday."

He watched her as the cab drove off.

Bartleby smiled to himself. This was a pleasant afternoon. He was an angel
and as such could never fully know love. Physical love was for humans.
Still, he could feel something of what they felt when he brought them
pleasure and love both physically and emotionally. It was in those rare
times that Bartleby could connect with the humans. The rest of the time,
he could see right through each and every single one of them. He could see
through secrets and lies, words and even thoughts. But he could not know
them. He called what he had just done with Nancy "the Embrace". He had
embraced many women and a few men in his time on Earth. Ordinary mortals.
He enjoyed it. The Embraced where those women and men in whom he saw
something special. Well, enough of that. He had to get back to his

Bartleby walked back to the Mall. All people saw was a tall, handsome man
in his twenties clad in a black overcoat. He was far more than that but
hardly ever let it show. He was the Angel of Compassion and Empathy. He
had been assigned to the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah by the Lord
Himself many thousands of years ago. His partner in that enterprise was
Loki, then the Angel of Death. Bartleby asked Loki to lay down the Blade
of Heaven because he felt sorry for the humans. God cast them out of
Heaven for their disobedience and ordered other angels to destroy Sodom
and Gomorrah. Since then, they had been on Earth.

Bartleby froze. He could feel something in the air. He turned around to see
a man. The man was young, in his twenties, with blond hair and blue eyes and
was clad in a blue sweatshirt, black jeans and sneakers. Bartleby smiled.
"Hi, Loki." he said.

Loki grinned. "Hey, man. What's up?" he asked.

The two friends shook hands. Loki was smiling happily. Bartleby loved the
bastard as much as he loved himself. "What is it, man?" he asked.

"Someone sent us this in the mail." said Loki, showing his best friend and
Companion an envelope.

Bartleby tore it up and read it. The letter inside basically told them what
they had dreamed of for thousands of years. That there was a way for them to
get back into Heaven by passing through a loophole. In New Jersey. Bartleby
was suspicious.

"We are going home." said Loki.

"It is not signed, Loki. Could be a sham." Loki looked at Bartleby and

"Why, you like it here so much you don't want to go home?"

Bartleby felt angry. Loki knew he found the world of the humans unbearable
to live in. Angels were not meant to live on Earth. "Of course I want to go
home." Bartleby said.

Loki grinned. "Let's check it out."

Loki practically jumped for joy when Bartleby told him the magic words. "We
are going to NJ!"

They walked out of the Mall parking lot. Bartleby didn't tell his Companion
that he had just made love to a woman. Being a dimwit in spite of having the
powers of an angel, Loki didn't sense it either.

The two angels did not know that they were being watched. As they left the
Mall parking lot, a man materialized out of nowhere. He was tall, young and
handsome, clad in a white suit and hat. His name was Azrael and he was not a
man. He wasn't an angel either. He was an Archdemon. Once an angel, he had
been sent to Hell when he refused to fight on either side during the War
between Lucifer's rebel angels and the Armies of the Lord. "I can't believe
those suckers fell for it." said Azrael.

He looked at the Triad. The Triad were three teenage boys. They weren't
teenagers anymore and had been alive for thousands of years, they were what
you'd call Nephilim. The offspring of an angel and a woman. The Triad were
the most infamous Minions of Azrael.

"Find the last Scion and kill her." he said.

The Triad nodded and they disappeared, willing themselves to be elsewhere.


Bethany Sloane came home from work. She was a petite woman with long dark
hair and brown eyes. She was a graduate of Wisconsin University who earned
a degree in Art history and worked at an Abortion clinic. Bethany Sloane was
thirty two years old, and single. Her husband Larry Smidt divorced her when
he found out that a quiet little infection destroyed her uterus and made her
unable to have children.

She went to her fridge and picked up canned soup which she just flat out ate
with a beverage. She turned on the tube and watched the Sci-Fi channel. Hmm.
April was miniseries month. How interesting. She watched Julie Cox and that
cute Canadian actor, Paul what's -his- name, oh yeah, Paul Gross in 20,000
Leagues Under The Sea. Hmm. She preferred him in Due South.

She watched his character Ned Land struggle against a beast to defend the
Nautilus. Hmm. A handsome hero. She always wanted to meet someone like that.
And she thought she had. Larry. Well, he left her for her best friend Nicole
and had children with her. They still sent her Christmas cards which made her
angry as hell. She turned off the tv and went to sleep.

She awakened to a lot of noise, light and a booming voice. "Behold. Metatron.
Herald of the Almighty and Voice of the One True God!"

She grabbed the fire extinguisher and sprayed whoever it was with it. The man
coughed. She found herself looking at a tall, pale-skinned, dark-haired,
handsome older man in a black suit. He coughed. "Ugh."

She grabbed a bat and prepared to attack him. He looked at her, grinned and
the bat turned into a fish. "What are you?" she screamed in terror.

"I am Metatron." he said. "I am a Seraphim." She looked at him curiously.
"The highest choir of angels." he said. He demonstrated by showing his
expensive wingspan. Now she believed him. "Let's take a ride." he said and
with a snap of his fingers they found themselves in the Mexican restaurant
down the street. He ordered wine, and she asked him questions. He charged
her with a holy crusade. "To stop a couple of angels from entering Heaven."
he said. "And thus wiping out all existence."

Bethany was puzzled. How was she supposed to stop a couple of angels?
Metatron shrugged. "You'll have support. One of them will talk incessantly,
the other will be tongue-tied. They are Prophets."

He snapped his fingers and Bethany Sloane found herself in her bed.

"Weird."she said before she fell asleep.

Not far away...The Next Day

Jay and Silent Bob looked at the chick. She was alright. Five foot six inches
tall, with short black hair and dark eyes. Her skin was very pale. She wore a
blue T-shirt and cut-off jeans. She had nice, big boobies and a tight ass.
Her name was Becky. Jay and Silent Bob met Becky back at the diner. They were
horny little bastards and she agreed to do them for twenty bucks. Becky got
on her hands and knees and Silent Bob positioned himself behind her and held
her by the hips. He let out his cock and rubbed it against her backdoor.

"That's gonna cost you." she said.

He gave her another ten which she threw among her clothes. Silent Bob put the
condom on and lubed himself up before putting some lube on her ass as well.
He entered her asshole slowly, gently. In he went. Nice and slow. Becky
grunted when Silent Bob's cock entered her ass. He was nice and thick and
knew how to work it, holding her by the hips and fucking her nice and easy.
She looked at his friend, Jay, who put his cock in her mouth. She sucked the
little weasel's decent sized dick. It had that slickness that came from
excessive masturbation.

Silent Bob thrust hard and fast, loving the feel of a tight ass around his
cock. Jay grabbed Becky's head and she sucked him off, gagging on his growing
cock. Finally, the bastard came all over her face and fixed himself, looking
very smug as he leaned back on the wall and watched his best friend fucking a
hot chick.

Silent Bob caressed Becky's back and rump as he went deep inside her and she
grunted, moving backward and driving him deeper inside her. Hard and deep he
went, and Becky moaned, loving the feel of a hard cock slamming in and out of
her ass. She only wished she didn't have to look at Jay as Bob did her. Bob
came, and pulled out. He put his stuff back in his pants and Becky put her
clothes back on. She pocketed the money, gave Jay a really nasty look, and

Jay and Silent Bob walked back the Van. "Dude, you totally fucked her, man."
said Jay.

Bob nodded.

Jay sat behind the wheel. "I need myself some pussy, dude." He looked at Bob
and Bob shuddered. Jay had an idea. Bob hated Jay's ideas. They always landed
them in trouble. "Let's go to the abortion clinic and pick up chicks." he
said. Bob shook his head and let his friend drive. This was bad, he could
feel it in his bones.

* * *

Bethany Sloane came out of the Abortion clinic where she worked. It had
been a slow day and she had trouble at work. Another bunch of religious
fundamentalist freaks were protesting again. She walked back to her car.
She turned around, sensing something wrong. There were three guys on
roller blades there. They carried hockey sticks and looked outright mean.
They were angry-looking teenage boys. They came at her and she fell. Her
keys slipped under the car and she reached out to grab them. The hockey
trio from hell prepared to deliver le coup de grace...

Jay pulled up in the parking lot. Silent Bob got out. Better to check the
damn place and get this shit over with. Jay followed him. They saw a woman
trying to get something under a car while some kids on skates came at her,
ready to do some damage. Jay hesitated. Silent Bob ran. He fell upon the
three hockey players and punched the hell out of them. Jay cheered from
where he was at then ran by his buddy's side when the three hockey freaks
were down. The woman got up. She had found her keys. Silent Bob looked at
her. She was cute. Very cute.

"Thanks." she said.

Silent Bob nodded just as Jay opened his big mouth. "You're welcome. I
kicked their ass. That tubby coat-wearing mofo would have died if I hadn't
represented." he said.

The woman looked at Jay gratefully and the weasel soaked it up. Silent Bob
couldn't believe it.

"My name is Jay. This is Silent Bob." said Jay. He shook hands with the lady
and Silent Bob waved.

Jay demanded sex as a reward for saving her. Silent Bob fully expected the
bastard to get slapped or cursed. He didn't. The Bethany woman politely
declined. Jay walked away cursing and talking about profits and Bob followed
him. Bethany remembered Metatron's words. Prophets. A talkative one and a
silent one. Hmm. He had to be kidding. She came back and asked them to eat.
They agreed. She had to get to the bottom of this.

They went inside a diner and Jay kept hitting on her the whole time. She
talked them into giving her a ride to New Jersey. Jay wanted to be paid in
sex but she declined and offered cash. That same night, Bethany Sloane
hopped on a van with two strange men and got on the road to New Jersey. Ah,
the pains of doing God's work.


The Triad reported to their Master. Azrael looked at them. He couldn't
believe that three of Hell's finest had been beat by two Prophets and that
Last Scion chick.

"I can't even trust you enough to kill a woman." he said.

The Triad, also known as the hockey trio from hell lowered their heads in
shame and submission. Azrael shook his head.

"I'm gonna have to seek outside help." he said.

The Triad looked at him.

"I'm gonna have to seek the Golgothan."

The three Nephilim's eyes widened. The Golgothan was a nasty demon, in every
sense of the word. No one wanted to cross him.

On The Bus...

Bartleby and Loki sat on the Greyhound bus to New Jersey. It was a long,
long boring-ass ride. Loki killed time by watching the humans. A man with
a wedding ring was kissing a moderately attractive brunette woman. "I bet
you he's cheating on her." said Loki.

Bartleby rolled his eyes. Loki was annoying as hell. "How do you know she's
not his wife?" he asked.

Loki looked at Bartleby and gave him the look one gave the mentally ill. "No
married man kisses his wife like that." he said. He tapped the man who was
kissing the woman. "Are you married?" he said.

The man looked at Loki and showed him his wedding ring. "What do you think?"
the man said, before he resumed kissing the woman.

Loki looked at Bartleby, who grinned. Loki shrugged and tapped the man again
and this time both he and the woman gave him annoyed looks. "Are you married
to her?" he asked.

The man looked at Loki. "Not that it's any of your damn business but, no."
said the man, and he resumed kissing the brunette woman.

Loki looked at Bartleby with a smile on his face. Bartleby grunted. What was
the idiot up to now? Loki pulled a gun from his pocket and fired two shots.
He shot the adulterous man, and the woman as well. A bullet in the head for
each of them.

The driver brought the bus to a screeching halt. The men and women rushed out
of the bus, leaving the two angels and the two corpses alone. Bartleby shook
his head. Maybe that's what being married was like. Always having to put up
with someone with moronic tendencies that you loved anyway? He grabbed Loki
and they stepped out of the now empty Greyhound bus.

Loki looked at Bartleby, and grinned. "I told you he was cheating on his
wife." said Loki.

Bartleby grunted. Even though he had been cast out of Heaven thousands of
years ago, Loki still saw himself as a Righteous Angel doing the Lord's work
by punishing Sinners. Bartleby thought that would be the end of it but as
they stepped on the road, Loki started to sing. Worse. He was singing the
theme song of that dreadful television show "MARTIN". Bartleby shook his head
and followed his Companion on the road. The moron got them out of the bus.
Now, they were gonna have to walk to the nearest city. As Angels, they could
fly but they wanted to stay cloaked, off of Heaven's radar.

Bartleby wasn't too sure about the plan. Giving up everything they had ever
known for a chance to return to Heaven. It was tempting. And so risky. But,
hey. As the humans are fond of saying, "nothing ventured, nothing gained."

The End


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