Even Stevens: The Magic EZ Bake Oven Day 1 (Mff,humor,magic,anal)
by Hamster ([email protected])
Ren Stevens was not the type to frequent yard sales as a rule. However,
the yard sale that was the exception was one who caught her eye with the
assortment fairly strange things. There were a half dozen shrunken heads,
jars containing mutated animal fetus, monkey carved from jade, jars
containing unusual looking fluids, assorted teeth of uncertain origin,
bones, incredibly ugly little dolls, frogs with too many limbs in little
brass cages, hideous and disturbing jewelery, paintings that graphically
depicted sex between humans and animals, jewelery made from human bones,
a life-sized wax replica of Ron Jeremy's penis, freakishly large spiders
in glass displays, potted carnivourus plants, Rush Limbough's autobiography,
books bound in what Ren hoped was not human skin, a life-like marbel statue
of a dead baby with a dagger in it's chest, a stuffed rat, a copy of Michael
Bolton's Greatest Hits, photographs of cadavers, a handful of Thailand snuff
films, a mason jar filled with teeth, the Satanic bible, assorted voodoo
dolls, a mug that said 'I love porn', 'The Simple Life Season One' on DVD,
a t-shirt that read 'I killed Jon Benet Ramsey', an anotomically-correct
female inflatable alien doll, a cigarette box filled with toe-nail clippings,
a jar of mayonaise that expired in 1986, the complete works of Pee Wee Herman
on DVD, assorted bongs, a stuffed monkey, live slug/guppy hybrids swimming
in a fish bowl, some medicine bottles containing caffiene tablets, and
Phototgraphs of Airforce agents posing with aliens.
"Interesting collection of strange and disturbing things." said Ren to the
man on the lawn chair reading a newspaper.
The man lowered the newspaper. He had a disgusting, pus-oozing, gaping hole
where his left eye should be. He was wearing a bath robe over some pajama's
and held a slurpee in his hand. His feet were wearing beaded moccosins.
Perched on his head was a cowboy hat with a feather in it. His right eye
squinted. His eyeball rolled so he could take her all in. The man was
molesting her with his eye as far as Ren was concerned.
"Strange and disturbing? Honey-cakes, you should see what I'm NOT selling,"
the man bragged.
The thing that caught Ren's eyes was something that stood out because it was
so surprizingly normal. It was a simple ordinary, unremarkable, children's
E-Z Bake oven.
"Wow I've always wanted one of these things," Ren exclaimed.
"Young lady, you seem like a nice girl, so I can't in good conscience sell
you that oven." The man said.
"What? It's an easy bake oven. Most of the rest of the things you're selling
look illegal. What's wrong with an easy bake oven?" demanded Ren.
"I can't say, just forget the oven." The man said nervously.
Ren smiled brilliantly. She withdrew a 20 dollar bill from her purse. "Maybe
President Jackson here can change your mind."
"It needs a new light, pleasure doing buisness with you," he said as he
accepted the 20-dollar bill.
"I'm your nieghbor across the street, Ren Stevens. What's your name?" Ren
asked. It was a reasonable question since this freakish stranger was her new
"Dimes. My name is Nick Dimes," he said.
* * *
Ren brought the EZ Bake oven home and replaced the light then plugged it in.
She mixed some dough and began to fill her little muffin tin. She set it her
muffins to bake and prepared to wait the alloted muffin-baking time. However
this test of her patience and resolve was interrupted by the doorbell. Her
mother and father as well as both of her brothers had all left on seperate
errands so she was the only person available to answer the door. Ren went to
the door and opened it. It was her friend Ruby.
"OK Ren what is it that you wanted to show me?" Ruby asked as she stepped
inside. "Who's the guy across the street? The one with the yard sale. He kept
staring at me."
"Never mind that, come with me." Ren grabbed her friend by the wrist and
dragged her over to the kitchen.
"It's an EZ Bake oven." Said Ruby blandly.
"Yeah isn't it awsome?" Ren asked.
"Ren, you are such a geek sometimes." Said Ruby.
I won't bore you with what the girls talked about while they waited for the
muffins to finish cooking. The gist of it was this:
Ding!!!! The buzzer interrupted the girls' chatter.
Ren removed the muffin tin. The muffins smelled delicious but there was a
strange feeling of dread that Ren felt when she looked at them.
"You want to share these with the guy who sold me the oven?" Ren asked.
Ren was a polite and considerate person, even though the man creeped her out
slightly. Ruby while somewhat polite was not quite as polite as Ren, however
that was balanced by the fact that she wasn't as creeped out as Ren was
either. She was niether completely for nor completely against the idea.
"Whatever." She said.
So with Ruby's less than enthusiastic approval the girls took the fresh
muffins across the street to the new nieghbor. Ren knocked and the man she'd
met earlier opened the door. This time an eye-patch covered the hole in his
face where his eye was supposed to be.
"Uhhh hello Mr. Dimes." said Ren.
"Hello, Ren is it?" asked Dimes.
"Yes I made some muffins and thought that you might like some." Ren said.
"I'd love to taste your muffins but I'm...Who's your friend." Dimes asked.
"Oh this is my best friend Ruby." Said Ren
"Nice to meet you." said Ruby.
"What happened to the yard-sale?" asked Ren.
"Oh, your the only one who bought anything so I brought everything back
inside. Shame really, I needed the money for beer." He said.
"Oh well, I'm sorry to hear that." Ren said, trying her very best to sound
Dimes nodded sadly. "Why don't you girls join me in the kitchen and I'll get
you something to wash down those muffins with."
Despite the eye patch, Ruby though he was kind of hot and nudged Ren.
"Uhh sure." Ren said.
Dimes led the girls into his home whose guacamole-green carpet could only
barely be made out under the piles of beer cans scattered every where. It was
a bit like walking in aluminum snow. They made their way to the kitchen where
Dimes retrieved three beer bottles from his fridge. It was a the older type
or refridgerater where the door opened the freezer and fridge at the same
"A: Niether one of us is old enough to drink alcahol. B: Do you have a
monitor lizard in your freezer?" Ren asked in utter confusion.
"He went beserk so I threw him in the freezer and shut it. It was
self-defence." Dimes explained. Ruby, unlike Ren, accepted the beer without
a comment. Dimes politely opened the beer for her with his teeth.
"Shall we tackle those muffins now?"
Ren noted the eagerness in his voice and figured it was due to the delicious
smell. Yes, Dimes sure looked eager to eat their muffins. Ren and Ruby both
bit into one. The girls felt a fingling warmth spread throughout their
bodies. Dimes knew what was coming which is why his muffin remained
"I feel so strange I can't explain it...it's..." Ren couldn't identify the
strange feeling that suddenly overcame her.
"I'm horney." Said Ruby.
"Well you should be. That EZ Bake oven was one of those magic ones. Any
Muffins made from it cause extreme horniness. Eat another." Dimes explained.
"No way..." Ren started. Ruby was already stuffing a second one in her face.
"Relax Ren." Ruby said as she shoved a muffin in Ren's open mouth.
"So girls, want join me in the jacuzzi?" Asked Dimes.
Despite the fact that her brain was screaming to her that this was a very bad
idea, Ren's muffin-fueled loins where making a fairly strong point that it
was a very good idea. There was one problem, Ren's mighty brain pointed out
to her newly empowered loins...
"We don't have any bathing suits with us." Ren said.
"No problem." Dimes said. "We'll just go skinny dipping."
That settled that.
Dimes led two girls to his backyard where the jacuzzi was located. Ruby was
first to remove her clothing and leave it abandoned on the gound. Ren was
still struggling internally however. Fortunately Ruby decided to help her by
pulling her sweater off then pulling off her shirt.
"Ruby!" Ren protested.
"You need to loosen up Ren." ruby said as she unfastened Ren's bra.
"That isn't for you to decide." Argued Ren. Still Ruby undressed her
completely and Ren put up no fight at all.
Once naked they stepped into the water and joined Dimes.
"So if you knew that the muffins would make us so..." Ren wanted to find the
"Horney as alley cats?" Ruby offered.
"Yeah." Said Ren "If you knew then why did you let us eat the muffins."
"Well BECAUSE I knew they'd make you horney." He said..
"Makes sense to me." said Ruby. Ruby looked down and noticed that Dimes had
a massive erection. "HEY! Do you want to stick that up my ass?"
"Sure." Said Dimes eagerly.
"RUBY!" Exclaimed a shocked Ren.
"Ren lay down on the edge of the jacuzzi and spread your legs." Ruby ordered.
"I don't know what you have planned or what you are thinking but I want
nothing to do with it." Ren said even though she complied with everything
that Ruby wanted her to do.
"Perfect." Said Ruby as she bent over so that Dimes had easy access to her
"Ruby, I can't beleive you just asked him to fuck your ass..." Ren was cut
off when Ruby dove in and began to eat out her pussy.
Ren had never felt so good before and couldn't imagine why she had never
asked Ruby to do that to hetr before. It made no sense in retrospect. Ren was
thoroughly enjoying the feeling of Ruby's tongue borrowing in her pussy and
clearly Ruby enjoyed doing it. Ren began to schedule time in the coming days
for Ruby to eat her out. Dimes meanwhile was very turned on by the loud
slurping and sucking noises being made by Ruby and the empassioned moans
being made by Ren. Dimes stepped up behing Ruby and felt the smooth curve of
her butt cheeks. Dimes spread her cheeks and pushed his burning rock-hard log
into her tight ass. Ruby yelped into Ren's pussy. Ren enjoyed the tickling
feeling. Dimes built up a pretty good rythm and kept it up as Ruby lashed at
Ren's pussy with her tongue. Ruby was loving the feeling of the big log
pushing into her ass over in over it was driving her to eat out Ren in a very
frenzied manner. Ren loved every minute it was the highest pleasure that she
had ever felt. Ren was stroking Ruby's hair as she began to cum.
"OHHHHHHHH YEAH RUBY THAT FEELS AWSOME YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!!!" cried Ren as she
came to her very first orgasm.
Ren flopped on her back. Ruby got out of the pool and laid down next to her.
"Why don't you girls spend the night, you look tired." Said Dimes.
"Sorry Mr. Dimes but that sounds like a bad idea and we should tell our
parents where we've been and everything." Ren said.
"It'll be fine. Follow me." Dimes said. The trend of Ren doing things she
knew and even voiced where wrong continued. Ren and Ruby followed Dimes to a
door that led to his basement. In the basement where several large cages.
Solid wood on all sides except the front, which had bars and a door. "Hop
"I don't think so." Said Ren as she walked in the nearest cage and closed the
Something about those muffins is making me do things against my better
judgement, Ren realized. Ruby followed suit and Dimes locked them both in
for the night. In each cage was a pair of bowls. One filled with beer and
the other with muffins.
To be continued...