Don't read if under 18 or illegal in your little corner of the world, like
you'll listen. This should appear only on Pal's archive site, through Pal's
yahoo group, on Pal's Forum... well, it basically should be wherever Pal's
stuff is. Also at the Grey Archive, and some other places they might end up,
they know who they are. And if/when I make a site, there too.

This story contains M/F, and romance. If you don't swing that way, stop
reading. This is a PARODY, PARODY, PARODY; I don't own any of the
characters, just "borrowing" them for the sake of the story. I AM USING
Europe, or Japan, or another subsidiaries I am currently not aware of. So
don't sue me. Please, I only have a computer and one of those toy dogs
that bounce their heads up and down, it isn't worth it.

Yo, whad up peeps? It is of course, the one and only random bastard,
chilling, writing, you all know that funky ass shit. Anyways, FF9, loved
the game, hated the little kids. Well, actually I thought Vivi was the
ballsiest character since Shadow, but I’m not too much into imagining him
having sex…so don’t ask. Anyways, first chapter is always fun, I suppose.
No plot, that might come later. Keyword might…I dunno, too much plot
can ruin a good porno I suppose. Anyways, here it is, the classic Dagger
and Zidane story.

* denotes thought

Final Fantasy 9: Epic Proportions Part 1 - It Begins
by Some Random Bastard

Zidane got up with a start. The weather in Alexandria this time of the year
was unbearable. He got up from his bed and walked out to the terrace, to
get a breath of fresh air.

A lot had happened for the young man, he had gone from actor/thief all the
way to someone who saved the world. He had been one of the first people in
recorded time to travel the world, he fought off the worst of foes, and
even was forced to fight his own brother before he could finally claim

*But that was nothing compared to know.* he thought, as he looked out to the
moons. He had come here, and barely had enough time to embrace the princess
*no, Dagger* before everything got rushed in it’s own way. He was given a
guest room but by the time he had settled in Garnet had literally dozens of

“So there you are” he heard a voice behind him, the sweetest voice he could

“I was wondering when I might have a private audience with her majesty” he
said as he turned around, with a grin on his face from ear to ear.

“Oh, you’re terrible” she said, as she cocked her head to one side.

“So how’s things?” Zidane said, sitting down, his back against the cool wall.

“Is that all you have to say?” Garnet said, raising an eyebrow.


“You leave me ever since the final confrontation, and in all this time you
couldn’t send a letter to say ‘Hi, by the way, I’m alive’”? She said, her
voice stern but not mean. Garnet was upset, but she had learned more patience
than a girl ought to know.

“So you want to hear it all then? Fine, I suppose it was going to happen in
any case.” He said, his eyes glancing down to a small pebble on the ground.
He reached for the pebble, and felt the rough texture of the small rock in
his hand.

“I suppose, it starts from when I went down The Iifa Tree.” He said with a
sigh. The Queen sat next to him as he continued. “As I made my way down, the
tree roots were like alive tentacles, shooting after me like they could zone
in on me. With a little skill and a lot of luck, I got the drop on where Kuja
was. He was lying down, still glowing from his trance. He seemed unable to
move, but I think he could have a bit of fight left in him.”

“We talked for a while, about nothing much. It was like we both knew about
the entire story, but we both ignored it, like long distant relatives
ignoring a long standing grudge.” He said, his voice cracking a little bit.

“After a few minutes, the roots came en mass, and I tried to move Kuja, maybe
pull him away from that god forsaken tree” Zidane said, fighting a small tear
welling up in his eye. “But he wouldn’t budge, he used himself as a human
shield to protect me.”

“I escaped, but barely. I was alone on the continent though, save the dwarves
and a few moogles. I didn’t have much of a choice, but to continue on. The
mages and the Genomes couldn’t give me much help. With a long amount of time,
and quite a bit of luck, I was able to make a small boat with some help.
Stilkskin, the moogle, gave me some help, I don’t think I ever would have
gotten out of there if it wasn’t for him.”

“When I made the boat, I didn’t know anything about the currents of the
oceans, or the way of the winds, since I, we, had always traveled with a
motorized craft. I was out to sea for about a month I guess, there with
Stiltskin. We didn’t have much to do, except for talk. We told each other
stories, from our travels. I know now every moogle by first and surname”
He said with a snicker. He took his arm and wiped away the small tear
going down his cheek. He was glad Garnet didn’t notice it.

“After a while, we were running low on water. I was afraid we wouldn’t make
it, that I wouldn’t see…” He said, and cleared his throat. “Finally we made
it to a port. I was surprised when I recognized it to be Lindblum. I was even
more surprised to find that most of the city was repaired after…” he started,
but he knew how much trouble Garnet had with her mother’s actions.

“I made my way to the Tantalus hideout, but no one was there. It was a few
days before anyone came back, apparently their airship broke down in a
testing phase and they had to walk back. I was afraid that the first family
I ever knew had abandoned me, or maybe worse…” Zidane said, wiping the
sweat off his forehead.

“First family?” Garnet said, a little puzzled.

“Yea...Baku adopted me when I was young, and I never really had much of a
family, save for my brothers in Tantalus. But when I left them, and started
traveling with you guys, I fell like I started a second family. Not a family
in the traditional sense I guess, more of a family in the sense of a team,
fighting together.” Zidane said.

“Anyways, my brothers in Tantalus couldn’t believe I was alive. They were
going to bring me to Alexandria immediately, but the shipping lines for the
airships were bust since there was no more mist. They wanted me to be a
surprise, and they were afraid if they told Regent Cid that he would tell
you. So they waited for Cid to finish the new Theater Ship ‘Prima Vista 2’
and the latest Hilda Guard.”

“The day finally came when we would fly to Alexandria, I could barely keep
my heart rate under a million as the day went by. All throughout the play I
thought my head would burst, I was paranoid that I would mess up a line, or
that someone would recognize me. I could barely breath it seemed.” He said,
opening his fist and staring at the pebble in his hand.

“And the rest” he began “is history” he said, as he threw the pebble, it
barely made an audible sounds as it bounced away.

He looked up, seeing Garnet literally hanging on his every word, her
beautiful round eyes reflecting the moon light. She took her arms, thrusting
them about either side of him as she kissed him. He was taken off guard, but
he quickly let his hands do the work, making up for lost time.

He roamed her body, gently taking in her curves and her scent as their lips
intertwined. He moved his kissed further and further down her neck, taking it
nice and easy, enjoying his way down.

Zidane took a look at her small nightgown, it was a blood red silk thing that
barely covered her when she tried, let alone now. He pulled the silk fabric
down, revealing her full breasts. Zidane looked at her face, and saw her nod,
as he took one of he mounds, gently grasping it as he let his tongue taste
the nipple of the other.

Garnet was amazed at his skills, *how many other girls has he done this
with?* she thought, but her thoughts were quickly changed to that of pleasure
as his attention to her breasts made her nipples get almost painfully erect.

Zidane was taking his time, enjoying his handy work. He played first with one
breast, gently rubbing the nipple while he used his mouth to first savor the
sweet taste of her body and then placing part of the breast in his mouth,
literally sucking on her breasts.

Meanwhile, Zidane’s tail was going on a magical mystery tour, working his way
slowly up her dress, almost tickling her perfect thighs as it brought the
dress up, saving Zidane the trouble.

He was quick to relieve his tail of the trouble, as he let one of his arms
loose to pick up where he had left off. Using his right hand, he was able to
feel how wet the outer thighs of her body had gotten.

“Let’s move this to someplace more private” Garnet said, knowing that there
would be a guard coming, if they already hadn’t come yet.

Zidane carried her in his arms, and made his way quickly into the castle. He
had dreamed of her every night since, and now his fantasy was becoming

Garnet let her head lie back, she had many sleepless nights, wishing that he
would come. She always wanted to thank him, he had always been there, and
now, lying in his strong arms, she knew just the way to repay him. Although
she hardly considered it a chore.

Zidane brought her to the young queens bed, and let her down gently, looking
at the willing look in her face as he pulled his arms back. He quickly
disrobed, and Garnet was amazed to see the first penis she had ever seen. She
had lived a sheltered life, and her life outside the castle was brief, and it
didn’t include peep shows.

Garnet pulled off the small silk nightshirt, tossing it aside as her eyes
were unwavering, amazed at the idea that this morning she planned to watch a
play and meet some old friends, and now she was going to have sex for her
first time.

Zidane got on the bed, crawling over her body until his lips found their
destination. He used his hands, gently massaging her vagina as their lips
embraced. He was surprised at how wet she was down there, but he was still
afraid that there wouldn’t be enough lubricant for sex.

Garnet looked up, into the young hero’s eyes, and hugged him close,
whispering in his ear only “Please, be gentle” as she spread her legs
further, almost at a 90 degree angle, to try to give Zidane as much space as
he needed. She was no stranger to the idea of sex, but she was afraid that he
would be too big, and she still had her hymen.

Zidane took his member, and gently positioned himself with her body. He took
great caution in setting himself up, taking every step to protect her from
harm. He gently thrust his penis in, pushing in the first two inches of his
seven inch cock.

Garnet bit her lip, she was expecting more pain, but instead her body reacted
almost singularly with pleasure. Until Zidane found himself at her hymen. He
looked at Garnet, she only said “Remember what I said” before looking up at
the ceiling. Zidane pressed forward, popping her cherry. Garnet gasped, her
body suddenly spiked with pain as she felt the almost stabbing pain in her
body. Zidane stopped, and pulled his member out a bit. He took his hand and
held hers, and looked her in the eyes. After a couple of minutes, the pain
subsided, and Garnet gave him a nod.

Zidane continued his action, pressing forward slowly, feeling her pussy
muscles begin to ease up, allowing more and more of his dick in her as he
began to thrust forward. It wasn’t long before his entire shaft was in her,
from tip to ball sack. Garnet felt a wave of relief shroud her body, but that
relief was quickly replaced with pleasure, as Zidane began to get a slow pace

Zidane began pumping his dick into her virgin love hole, feeling the heat and
the friction against his member as he continued on his course. He was loving
this, it was, to him, nirvana. He continued to speed up his pace, worried
first about her safety and second about his.

Garnet was going on fire as she could feel his speed increase, bringing her
closer and closer to…what? *Oh my god, I’ve never climaxed before, I wonder
what it will be like?* she thought as she felt him going quicker and quicker.

Zidane could feel Garnet was getting closer and closer, and he took his tail
and began to play with her clit, his now soaked tail gently playing with the
nub, massaging it as he continued his forward movement.

Garnet’s mind was going wild, each thrust forward felt like a climax, but
she couldn’t be sure until the next wave of pleasure hit her body.

Then finally Garnet felt herself leave the plane of existence, as her entire
body shook with pleasure. Her pussy muscles clamped down on his member,
bringing him to climax. All the young queen could feel was his spurting deep
inside of her, each spurt of hot jizzum like a fiery spike of passion driven
deeply within her.

Garnet’s body collapsed, her mind barely registering anything but the
overwhelming flood of pleasure that enveloped her brain. She didn’t register
Zidane removing his member, or him lying down next to her. A few minutes
later she returned to Earth, but she didn’t care about being the Queen, or
saving the Earth. As she wrapped her arm around her lover, she only cared
about one thing: love.

Yay! Romance...whoppie! I think I’ve overdone the whole romance thing
lately...well I figure Lani was basically…not the most romantic person, so
when her and Amarant get a turn together…maybe not be so nice? Bah, enough
of my prattling, enjoy the fic? Email me. Hate it? Do the same. Want to send
me naked pictures of your cheerleading 16-24 year old sister naked? I will
write a personal story about you banging everyone ever in any video games
(kidding…or am I? Find out and email me the pics...). That’s all, go home.
You heard me, bugger off, go bug The Unknown Gamer, or Neo Cactuar, they
haven’t written a fic in a long time! (This file was created by
[email protected], so send all flames there. Don't use without
permission, and don't claim it's yours.

Spread freely as long as this and the disclaimer above as well as the story
entirely are untouched, unedited, and worshipped for the holy script they
are not.)

Critiques, comments, flames, any responses are welcome, if they are pro,
then I'll consider making more. Don't be a jerk, send me a simple 2-minute
or less message saying, hey, this was good. Thanks. Wow, so hard.


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