Don't read if under 18 or illegal in your little corner of the world, like
you'll listen. This should appear only on Pal's archive site, through Pal's
yahoo group, on Pal's Forum... well, it basically should be wherever Pal's
stuff is. And of course the Grey Archive. Also included in the TSSA,
Literotica, and spread randomly throughout the web, and some other places
they might end up, they know who they are. And if/when I make use of the
space I have at ASSTR then there too.

This story contains F/Malien, F/F/Malien, oral, anal, F/solo, 1st, M/Impreg,
and snowball. If you don't swing that way, stop reading. This is a PARODY,
PARODY, PARODY, I don't own any of the characters, just "borrowing" them for
the sake of the story. I AM USING WITHOUT PERMISSION OF 20th Century Fox,
FoxBox, or another subsidiaries I am currently not aware of. So don't sue me.
Please, I only have a computer and one of those toy dogs that bounce their
heads up and down. It isn't worth it.

Shit, never thought you'd hear from me again huh? Well I'm back and better
than ever, I guess. Anyways, while Fox pisses me off til no end because they
cancelled Futurama, they also brought back Family Guy, so I guess things end
up balancing out. I guess. Still pissed about it, what they basically did to
Futurama was put it in a great lineup, except that it got preempted by
baseball, football, or NASCAR (Fucking great, let's watch cars make left
fucking turns for 4 fucking hours) and lost it's fan base because they
couldn't watch the show.

Anyway, this story takes place in the episode "Kif gets knocked up a notch"
where Kif, Amy's green boyfriend and second officer to captain Zapp Brannigan
of the Nimbus gets pregnant, as is the way of his race. He touches Leela and
gets her DNA, and has a child, well this is another view of how the two uh,


* denotes thought.

Futurama: Oh, Kif!
by Some Random Bastard

"Oh Kif!" Amy squealed in happiness. She threw her arms around the light
green alien's body, surprising the reticent officer as she practically thrust
her tongue down his beak.

"Oh Amy," Kif tried to say, his beak nearly being suffocated by Amy's deep
kiss. Kif enlisted into the DOOP (Democratic Order Of Planets) when he was
young, and spent most of his time climbing the military's bureaucracy. His
career advancement ended when he was assigned as the first officer of the
Nimbus under infamous Captain Zapp Brannigan.

Despite having gone out with Amy for so long a time, the two haven't yet
consummated their relationship. Unbeknownst to Amy, Kif was still a virgin,
and was so clueless that he considered a French kiss to be making love.

"Amy, we can't make love here in the Holo-shed," Kif said, his voice
quivering with excitement and nervousness. Little did he know what kind of
idea he planted inside his girlfriend's brain. Amy, unlike Kif, was an
experienced love maker, and was into more risky sexual encounters.

* * *

"Fry, did you see where Amy went?" Leela asked impatiently.

"I dunno, she said something about seeing Kif," Fry answered uninterestedly.

"Well I better go find her, the less time I have to spend near Zapp the
better," Leela said, lamenting for about the nine trillionth time her sexual
rendezvous with the pompous ass of a captain.

* * *

"Amy, what are you doooo..." Kif began to ask, watching as Amy removed her
pink top, revealing a small blue bra bootless attempting to bind Amy
bountiful billowing bosoms.

"Come on Kif, it was your idea," she said seductively, moving her hands
behind her back and unhooking her bra. Kif was further left speechless as
the delicate garment floated gently to the simulated ground of the Holo-shed.
"Well?" she asked, wondering if there was any blood going to his head.

Kif couldn't even remember his last name as he saw his girlfriend, naked from
the waist up. His eyes were caught in a steely glare on Amy's breasts. They
were neither too large nor small; they were in perfect proportion to her
body. They were soft, perky breasts, which protruded out to a pair of small
pink, already erect nipples, in direct contrast to her healthy, lean stomach.

"But Amy I...uh...we..." Kif sputtered out at the first opportunity he could
speak, as strange and new feelings grew inside of him. Had he not been so
affixed to his girlfriend's breasts, he might have noticed the swelling in
his pants.

Amy, on the other hand, did notice it, and was pleased with what she could
make out as his bulging photon torpedo as it pressed up against his velour

"Kif, are you okay?" She asked, noticing Kif's green face was turning
uncharacteristically red.

"Yes I, it's just that, I mean you are," he sputtered, still struggling to
start a sentence.

"Spit it out!" she shouted, growing a little impatient.

"It's just that I've...never...well..." Kif began his mind racing.

"You're a virgin?" Amy asked her voice filled with surprise.

"I've never done anything like this, when we were making love earlier-," Kif
started, his mind beginning to function.

"You mean when we kissed?" Amy asked astonished. Kif nodded, and sat down,
noticing for the first time his engorged member.

"Oh Kif," she said, sitting next to him and putting her arm around him. "It's
alright, don't worry about it," she said, trying to console him.

"You aren't...disappointed?" he asked.

"No, I think it's cute," Amy said, she knew plenty of guys who wanted to
de-flower virgins, and the idea that her boyfriend was still inexperienced
was something new to her.

* * *

"Hello, Amy, Kif, are you there?" Leela asked, knocking on the door to Kif's
quarters. She waited a few moments, tapping her boot on the ground before
knocking on the door louder.

"Well, if it isn't the sexiest one-eyed captain that I knocked boots with,"
Zapp said from behind her. Leela growled in anger, trying to restrain herself
from knocking Zapp out, as she was sure it would only prolong her stay on the

"Zapp, do you know where Kif and Amy are?" Leela asked, grating her teeth.

"No idea, I was just coming in to use my executive washroom," Zapp said,
opening the door.

* * *

"Just lay back Kif and I'll show you something that beats a French kiss," Amy
said, starting to become turned on by the idea of being Kif's first.

First, she removed Kif's shirt, showing his smooth, hairless green chest. She
then moved her hands to Kif's skirt-like uniform, pulling the garment down
and revealing regulation DOOP briefs.

"What are you doing?" Kif asked, his dick uncomfortably pressed against the
briefs, and with almost a life of it's own springing towards Amy's hands.

"Shhh," she said, pulling down his briefs. She was amazed a moment later when
she saw Kif's wang. Kif had always been a tamed individual, and was one of
the least sexual people she knew, and she just learned that he was a virgin.

Little could prepare her for what was before her. Kif's green wang was over a
foot long, and almost as thick as her arm. The uncircumcised green monster
that was in front of her was smooth like the rest of his body, and throbbing
with what she guessed was it's very first hard on. At the base was a pair of
marble sized testicles, which only served to make his cock look larger.

"Wow!" she said, this was by far the largest dick she'd ever seen, on any

"What, did I do something wrong? Oh Amy I'm so sorry I-," Kif started, but
was interrupted by Amy saying,

"No Kif, it's just that you're so big, you're the biggest guy I've ever had,"
Amy said.

"Umm, is that bad?" Kif asked.

"No," Amy said, looking up at Kif, smiling as she was almost entranced by
his wang, "In fact, it's a good thing, a very good thing" she said, the mere
thought of having this thing inside of her was getting her wet.

Amy wrapped her dainty fingers around his dick; the smooth green skin was
secreting some kind of lubrication. She slowly began to lick him from the
bottom up, feeling the cock spring another three or four inches to nearly a
foot and a half.

She took the green monster in her hands, gliding across the mix of her saliva
and his own lubrication, and brought her mouth to the tip. Amy played with
the tip for a moment, tasting the few drops of pre-cum that dripped from his
opening. *Tastes like a human's* she thought to herself.

Kif could only whimper, as for the first time in his life he was fully
aroused and receiving a blowjob. He could hardly contain himself as he
watched his beautiful girlfriend topless and playing with his wang.

Amy looked up to see Kif's reaction as she opened her mouth, taking the first
few inches of his dick in her mouth. She would have grinned, had her mouth
not been filled, at the site of Kif's face contorting like she'd never seen
before. As she continued to stuff more of him in her mouth, she could taste
the lubrication, realizing soon that it was strong, sweet tasting pre-cum all
around his chromatic colored cock.

Amy was surprised at how easy his wang went down, the smooth surface combined
with his pre-cum lubrication and her saliva made even his eighteen-inch
member easier to swallow.

Kif was amazed at the feelings that were stirring inside of him. After a
lifetime of chastity, any kind of stimulation would be impressive, but Amy
was masterfully going down on him. He could feel a strange surge in his body,
something he had never felt before.

Amy was doing everything in her power to fit as much of her boyfriend's
wedding tackle in her mouth as she could. Inch after inch disappeared in her
mouth, much to Kif's glee. She knew she couldn't fit it all in her, at least
not the way they were doing it.

Kif elation was halted for a moment, as Amy took his cock, dribbling with her
slobber out of her mouth.

"Stand up" she said, although it was more of an order as she got on her
knees. As Kif stood he felt lightheaded, and even more so when Amy took his
prick again, quickly gobbling down half of it. Kif let out a yelp, his body
so unused to such sexual occurrences. Again he felt a strange surge, but his
body was so racked with pleasure he couldn't even formulate the thought to
speak to her.

Amy continued to deep throat him, at this angle she felt she really could fit
it all down her mouth. She rubbed her tongue alongside his throbbing member,
slowly at first but as she continued, she drove the pace faster and faster.
Soon her tongue was racing across his wang, causing Kif to bite his lip to
stop from whimpering.

The farther down his member she got, the wider the member became. At first,
the tip was an inch and a half in diameter, but now it was almost two inches,
and she was face to genitals with the last few inches of him, the base was at
least two and a half inches across.

Kif could hardly contain himself; this was an indescribable experience,
nothing he had ever done was even comparable. She went farther and farther,
and he could feel her short, cute hair brushing up against his pubic region,
tickling him.

*Just two more inches* Amy thought, forcing more and more of him down her
throat. Each downward motion took more and more in. Her lips were filled,
stretching to meet the reaches of his gigantic girth.

Three, *Only another inch to go* thought Amy as she pushed on, her mouth so
filled she could barely squirm her tongue across him.

Two, there was only another half an inch of green shaft left for her to

One, she finally did it, she had the entire length of his eighteen inch cock
inside her. She felt a sense of accomplishment, and happiness that she could
satisfy her boyfriend.

Blastoff, without warning, Kif moaned out loud, almost falling over as his
first orgasm overtook his body. Amy choked for a moment, surprised at his
sudden climax. She could feel in her throat each individual spurt as it
coated the insides of her stomach and throat. She pulled him out, her hands
instinctively jerking off his shaft as he sprayed shot after shot of green
seed in her mouth. Kif was so overwhelmed with pleasure he couldn't control
himself. Amy struggled to swallow as much as she could, but a lifetime's
worth of cum at one time was more than she could handle. With a cough she
pulled his cumming cock out of her mouth, trails of sperm flowing out her
mouth and down her chin, dripping onto her breasts. Kif was not done however,
and spurt after spurt continued to shoot out of his cock, splashing another
spurts on Amy's face and breasts with a green colored cum.

"Oh my," Kif said, finally spent. "That was the greatest thing I've ever
experienced...oh no, Amy are you okay?"

"I'm better than okay," she said, collecting all the jizz on her finger, and
scooping it into her mouth. "Yum. Okay, you're turn" she said seductively,
knowing ahead of time she would have to walk him through the next stage.

"I-I don't know, I mean I haven't," Kif began to sputter.

"Don't worry, I'll show you what to do," Amy said, standing up. She
unfastened her pink pants, revealing the bottom half of her sexy body,
scantily covered by a matching pair of blue panties, almost entirely soaked
through. Kif was frozen like a deer in the headlights as his eyes feasted
upon the gorgeous piece of eye candy in front of him. Her firm, supple legs
were hairless, tanned; they were toned, but not too muscular. Her hips
curved out perfectly, matching the rest of her petite body.

"Come over here Kif," she said, motioning towards her dumbstruck boyfriend
as she lay down.

"W-what do I do now?" Kif asked.

"Get down here and take off my panties, duh!" Amy said, getting impatient

Kif did as he was told, getting down on his knees and going in between Amy's
tanned legs, slowly sliding off her slimy panties, the sweet scent of her sex
was so strong it was sousing Kif's senses. The only body hair was a small
patch a quarter inch long above her slit, shaped as an arrow pointing down.

"This," Amy started with her lesson, "is my clitoris," she said, rubbing her
finger across the nub, "that's going to be one of your best friends. These
are my labial lips," she continued, spreading open her soft pink slit. "And
inside," she said, probing inside with her middle finger, "Is where that
goes" she said, pointing at Kif's semi-flaccid member, still at an impressive
nine inches soft.

"I see," Kif said memorizing every syllable of what Amy was showing him.
Years of studying technical readouts from the DOOP had given him proficiency
with in the field education.

"Now I want you," she said her voice sultry and full of want, "to use that
big beak of yours to eat me out. Use your tongue on my clit, switching to my
lips and inside. And don't forget to use your fingers too," she said with a

"Alright, I'll try to-" Kif started to say, but was interrupted by Amy's
finger pressed against his beak.

"There is no try. And if you're talking, you aren't doing it right," she
said, remembering a line Fry kept saying one weekend.

Kif went in between her legs, seeing for the first time the beauty of a
woman's naked form, and now to be ordered to eat out so superb a specimen
as Amy is.

He started slowly, his tongue flicking against her sensitive engorged pink
clit. Amy moaned in response, so Kif took it as a good sign and continued his

Unbeknownst to Amy, Kif's species had a tongue that was much larger than the
average human. It came out about six inches out of his mouth. It was also
covered in taste buds the entire length, the buds making the tongue carinate.

Kif continued to flick tenderly at her clit, each time the buds of his tongue
lovingly lashing her pink nub. His fingers, meanwhile, found their way to her
labia, opening it and slowly working one of his large, smooth fingers into
her sopping love hole.

Amy was beside herself with sexual mirth, not only was Kif a quick study
but he was also great at eating her out. She took her own nipples in hand,
tweaking playfully as Kif continued.

Kif was starting to understand what he was doing better, and with each flick
of the tongue or thrust of the finger, he was becoming bolder. He started
trying new things, first he took his tongue, wrapping the middle of it around
her clit, then teasing the top with spontaneous flicks, teasing it for a
moment before pulling his tongue back in his mouth, sliding the textured
tongue across her clit and making her coo in enrapture.

He next took his fingers, drenched in her love juices, and worked her clit
with them, taking his tongue and inserting it into her wet love canal,
probing it with all six inches. Amy squealed in pure carnal lust as the
textured tongue fucked her while his smooth fingers rubbed against her clit.
Kif on the other hand could taste her sweet juices in 360 degrees of oral

"Oh Kif YES!" Amy cried out, her back involuntarily arching to meet with
Kif's unyielding tongue-lashing. She was pawing at her own nipples, her body
engulfed in bodily delight.

"Don't stop Kif, I'm almost th-ERE!" Amy cried out, the smooth curvature of
Kif's beak grinding against the bottom of her clitty, with his fingers
rubbing on the top.

Kif first noticed something was different when he felt Amy's body tighten,
her legs locking his face in position as her body convulsed. Confused, Kif
had little choice other than to continue what he was doing.

Only a moment later a loud shriek in CHINESE convinced him that something was
definitely different. Another moment passed and Kif felt the muscles in her
cunny writhe around his tongue as a gush of vaginal juices dribbled out of
her slit, flowing first in between her butt checks before dripping onto the

Minutes later Kif's head was finally released as Amy's breathing began to
normalize, her mind starting to function again.

"Oh Kiffy," she said in between pants "you were awesome."

* * *

"They better be in here," Leela said at the door of the Holo-shed. Having
spent the better part of her day on the Nimbus looking for the two, she was
not particularly happy.

When she opened the door, she heard a loud cry. Leela instinctively jumped
behind a large cloud. She was both shocked and surprised at the scene before
her. Kif and Amy were naked, his head betwixt her legs and her screaming out
in what could only have been a climax.

* * *

"Now it's time to jump your bones Kiffy," Amy said.

"Well actually I don't have any bones, I'm supported by a series of bladders
which-" Kif started.

"It's just an expression," she said, crawling over towards where Kif was.
"It means you take this," she said, grabbing green monster with both hands,
slowly starting to massage it "and then, put it here" she said, taking one
hand and holding it over at her soaked slit. The mere thought of having sex
with his dearest was both an alien and alluring concept, and it was enough
to bring his little soldier to full attention.

* * *

Leela couldn't make out what they were saying, but that didn't matter as soon
enough Amy was laying down, spread eagle eye on the ground, Kif's dick...
*That's not too big* Leela thought, *It can't be bigger than half a foot.*
she thought, her depth perception not the best.

* * *

"Here," Amy said, lying back on the ground, opening her legs. "I want you to
put that inside of me," she said, licking her lips at the prospect of having
that huge thing inside of her.

Kif did as he was told, bringing the tip of his cock to the sopping entrance
to Amy's snatch. He put it in gently, knowing after his close inspection that
this would not be an easy fit for his human girlfriend.

"Kif, I need you to push it in and out," she said, her appearance as a
teacher wasn't making up for her impatience.

Kif did just that. One moment he was just barely penetrating her snatch, the
next moment a full six inches of green alien wang was buried in Amy. She
squealed a moment. "Dearest, I didn't hurt you did I? If I did I couldn't-"
Kif began to say.

"No, don't stop, keep going, it's great," Amy said coquettishly. Kif
continued, his body not used to the awkward humping movement. He went slowly
at first, his cock meeting against stiff resistance from Amy's tight feminine

"Come on Kif, harder, faster!" Amy shouted, trying to encourage him as he
awkwardly continued.

Resigning to the advice of his sexual mentor, Kif did exactly that, he humped
Amy harder and faster, his body filling with a new feeling, a purely sexual
drive to, for lack of a better word, fuck.

"That's more like it," Amy said as Kif fucked her, as eight inches of him was
plunging in and out of her hot wet hole, every forward thrust pushing more of
his foot and a half in her.

* * *

Leela was trapped and she wasn't quite sure what to do. She could sit here
and wait, and hope they finish and don't notice, but something told her that
the fake rock she was hiding behind might not last after the two of them were
done. But if she tried to leave now the two of them would probably find that
out as well.

*What are they doing now* Leela wondered as she watched. She didn't want to
watch, but a sinister fascination of what was happening in front of her was
compelling her to watch. There wasn't exactly much else for her to do at that
point anyway.

She watched, unable to hear what they were saying. She suddenly saw as
Kif's... *How long is that?!?* she asked herself, watching as the green
behemoth, shiny with lubrication, enter in her coworker's box. *It's got
to be at least a foot* she thought, finding it difficult to sit down in a
comfortable position as she could feel herself getting wet from the erotic
scene before her.

"Come on Kif, harder, faster!" Amy shouted, startling Leela. Kif looked like
he was only halfway in her, and there was still at least another eight or
nine inches of alien rod left!

Kneeling down, Leela didn't even notice when one of her fingers instinctively
moved between her legs, slowly rubbing across the soaked section as one might
scratch a bug bite, but it didn't stop there. Before she knew it, Leela was
getting hornier than she had since she had nailed William Shatner. And then
there was that weird dream with Nibbler...

* * *

"Come on Kiffy, give it to me nooooooow!" Amy moaned. His cock was oozing
with pre-cum, except unlike any genus she was aware of the pre-cum was
actually a lubricating agent, evenly distributing a more than healthy dose
of semen to the entire shaft of his rod. That combined with the earth
stopping orgasm she just completed along with her complete compliance gave
Kif's inexperienced body free reign over hers. And genetic engineering was
once again the winner versus experience.

Kif felt like he was in some kind of sexual fervor, he felt like never
before. Testosterone was pumping in his vein, ten inches of his cock deep
down Amy's slit, and there was still eight more to go. All of his body's
energies were completely diverted to one action.

"Oh it feels so go-OOD!" one action cried aloud as Kif forced another few
fractions of a foot farther in her. She grabbed her heaving sweaty breasts,
the nipples hard enough to cut diamond, and eagerly tweaked them, her body
constantly moving in gyration. Her body was flooded with lust while Kif
passionately made love to her, his cock was as petrified as wood, plunging
deeply into her overstretched pussy, pushing the physical and emotional
boundaries of love for her.

Kif was experiencing for the first time the freedom of giving into one's
passionate physical desires, and was loving it. His cock was rhythmically
humping Amy, the pace seemed as natural as his heartbeat. And like his
heartbeat, it was getting faster.

* * *

"MMM," Leela said, her finger finding her engorged clit over her clothes.
*What am I doing!* Leela thought to herself as her finger raced across the
now wet patch on her pants. Her mind was speeding, the scene in front of
her, along with the forbidden aspect of public masturbation, let alone while
two people unbeknownst to them fuck in front of you.

Every flick of the finger was another reason to continue, and Leela found
her resistance crumbling quickly.

*Fuck it* she thought, taking her hand in her pants, pushing them through
her slimy purple panties, to her sopping slit, and, putting her finger on
her clit, relieved an ache that had been unbearable since she began watching.

Leela bit her lip to keep it quiet as it quivered, her other hand busy
playing with her large breasts, teasing the silver dollar sized nipples,
which pressed up against the material of her white shirt, which would
undoubtedly have been noticeable to anyone passing by.

*What am I doing* she asked herself as she groped her own breasts, pawing at
them intently as she ravished her own clit, desperate for the sexual release
such as she saw before her. She watched eagerly as Kif rammed his
eighteen-inch beast into Amy, probing her own slit with her finger wishing
it were she receiving him.

* * *

Kif was speeding up to an incredible orgasm. If the first was any indication
of what his next would be like, Kif reasoned that he should go at it like
there was no tomorrow. Moreover, there wasn't much left to do, the finishing
line was close for his swimmers.

Amy was squealing with each thrust, her petite frame finally yielding to the
eighteen-inch green monster and with Kif's alien wangstrocity in her, her
body was on the threshold of another, more powerful, climax. Her every move
was focused on climax, from her painted yellow fingernails happily playing
round and round her fully erect pink nipples to her arched back forcing more
of Kif deep in her.

Kif summoned up every last watt of energy in his pale green body as he
continued to nail Amy. Following a hunch, he pulled his cock out of Amy's
soaked pussy, slamming it back in a moment later. Again and again he did
that, but on the fourth time...

"OOOOooOOoOOOooOOHhhhHHhhhhh Fuuuuuuuuuuck," Amy cried out as a outrageous
orgasm overtook her body. Moments later Kif came hard, he grunted louder
than he ever had before as he spurted stream after stream of green alien
love juice deep in Amy's pussy. Amy lost control of her body as she writhed
around Kif's cumming cock, her cunny felt like it was overfilled with Kif's
baby batter.

He pulled his cock out of her, still spasming jet after jet of cum, now on
her pubic hair and the outside lips on her mound as Amy continued to convulse
on the ground, her breasts heaved from her labored breathing.

The two, now catching their breathes from their passionate lovemaking
session, were startled to hear "AAAAAaaAAAaaaAAaAaaaAH!!!!!" from behind a

* * *

Leela was under the least amount of control she had ever been in her life.
She was kneeling there, her legs wide open as she forced four fingers from
one hand into her twat as the other hand was furiously rubbing her clit, all
while she watched the hump-Olympics in front of her.

She could feel her climax coming soon. She watched Kif pull eighteen inches
out, and then watched enviously as it disappeared in Amy. She plunged her
thumb in, imagining that Kif's cock was in her as her entire fist was now
buried within her, up to the wrist.

She was startled at first when she heard Amy yell, but moments later when
she saw that glaze on the bantam girl's eyes she knew what was coming, or
cumming. She watched eagerly as Kif continued to hump furiously, moments
later pulling out his green cock, shiny with (unknown to Leela) precum and
Amy's juices, along with a wad of light green jizz which continued to shoot
blast after blast on Amy, making too much of an erotic scene for the
lovelorn Leela.

"AAAAAaaAAAaaaAAaAaaaAH!!!!!" Leela cried out, her body betraying her mind
as she came, and came hard. Her mind was flooded with forbidden pleasure so
much, so she could barely even think, all that filled her mind was the image
of herself being fucked by Kif's eighteen inch cock. So much so that she
didn't even notice when Kif and Amy came over and found her, still cumming.

* * *

"Kif, I think someone's there," Amy said. She and Kif walked over, the two
opting not to bother clothing, deciding to themselves that if someone had
seen this much there wasn't going to be anything they hadn't missed so far.

Of all the people of the Planet Express (Or the Nimbus for that matter) the
last person either two expected to see was Leela there, her hands buried in
her pants as she recovered from an orgasm, from watching the two of them make
love. Seriously, Amy would have put her money on Bender or Fry, maybe

"Leela!" Amy yelled, watching the purple headed space pilot nearly lose her
mind as she saw Kif and Amy standing over her, still naked. Her eyes fixated
on Kif's member, even at it's semi-flaccid state it was still over a foot
long, and still dripping with juices.

"Why the hell were you watching us?!?" Amy asked, her eyes inadvertently
peeking at Leela's still exposed, soaked, twat.

*Ohfuckohfuckohfuck ohshit* Leela thought, her heart racing all the faster

"Well?" Amy asked again, angrily.

"I didn't mean to I just was looking for you so I could get off of this ship
and then I kept walking around the whole ship asking everyone and finally I
came in here and saw you two and before I knew it I couldn't stop watching
and, and I just couldn't control myself!" Leela flustered as she ran out of

Then, there was an uncomfortable silence. Amy had spent the entire time
trying not to look at Leela's diamond hard nipples, or at her still exposed,
still dripping twat. Moreover, she spent most of the time failing at that.
While Amy hadn't really acted on them, growing up she had a curiosity about
other women that she had never put to rest. *And besides* Amy thought, *What
is she going to do, tell someone?*

"So," Amy started, "You liked the show you saw?"

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to-" Leela started, hoping if nothing else to keep
this between the three of them. The last thing she needed was for Fry or
Bender to hear about this, or even worse, Zapp.

"BUT" Amy interrupted, "You liked what you saw?"

"Well, yes, but I-" Leela started.

"So, do you want to join?" Amy asked, much to the surprise of Kif and Leela.

"Um, Amy, I don't know if that's such a good um," Kif started to say, but
despite whatever meaning he had behind the mumbling, his inflating cock said
it all.

"Don't worry Kif," Amy said, whispering in his ear "besides, you're gonna
need all the practice you can get if you're gonna keep up with me."

"I just, I couldn't," Leela said, her mind trying to fight her libido.

"Oh come on," Amy said, putting her arm around Kif, "Besides, if you don't,
a certain star ship captain might find out about what you were up to today
on his ship."

Leela had a brief battle between her brain and body, her mind quickly
rationalizing enough good reasons to ensure her consent.

"Well, I don't think we have to worry about foreplay" Amy said, deciding that
she would take charge of this threesome.

"You ready Leela?" Amy asked, watching as she stripped down, exposing her
bounteous breasts bouncing as she removed her white top. She peeled off her
pants, showing her firm supple legs which curved to become her hips. Amy saw
her small patch of well-kept purple pubic hair on her.

"Okay," Leela said as she walked forward, totally nude "I'm ready."

"Alright I got an idea," Amy said, walking over towards Leela. "Get on your
hands and knees; Kif still hasn't tried doggy-style."

Leela did as she was told, the anticipation of having Kif's enormous cock
inside of her was enough for her to play second chair to Amy.

As Leela got into position, Amy began to jerk off Kif slowly, feeling it
begin to ooze precum, which collected on her hands, making them sticky and
light green colored.

Amy gently pulled Kif by his member to where Leela was impatiently lying. She
guided him to Leela's soaked slit, probing first with her fingers, teasing
her captain before she guided Kif's now throbbing member into Leela.

Leela moaned as Kif penetrated her, in her mind she knew what she was doing
was wrong, but she couldn't help herself.

Amy, on the other hand, was watching with glee as her boyfriend began to fuck
Leela. Then, she got another idea, even more risque...

Kif's cock, lubricated by his precum and both Amy's and Leela's love juices,
easily penetrated Leela, whose body more easily accepted Kif. In only a few
seconds, half of his green dong was inside of her, and there was no stopping
the two. Leela was going out of her mind, she hadn't been with a man since
William Shatner, and no man, not even any dildo she'd ever used, had the
massive girth that Kif had.

"So what do you think Leela?" Amy asked, enjoying the show before her.

Leela couldn't even form the words to respond to Amy's question, so she said
the only thing she was thinking about "Fuck meeeEEEE!" she shouted aloud, and
Kif did just that.

Her body began instinctively pushing back, helping Kif push more and more of
his cock inside of her. Amy could see her eyes bug out as Kif slammed her
with his entire eighteen inches.

She was so caught up in what she and Kif were doing that she neglected to
notice when Amy sat in front of her, her pussy still dripping with love
juice. Amy inched forward until Leela was face to crotch with her.

"Come on Leela, you know you want to," Amy said seductively, watching as Kif
continued to hump her, his green cock jack-hammering in and out.

Leela didn't have any time to answer before Kif's foot slipped, pushing her
about six inches forward, right into Amy's soaked slit. Leela could hardly
breath, let alone talk. Deciding that she had little choice, she resigned
herself to her fate, and began to eat Amy's pussy out.

The strong sweet taste of Kif's cum coupled with Amy's love juices combined
to make a unique taste, at least to Leela, who had never had sex with another
woman before. All she could do was imitate what she did to herself when she
was masturbating, only now she would have to do it with her tongue and mouth
instead of a vibe or dildo. Amy played with her nipples, enjoying the show
before her.

Meanwhile, Kif, having regained his footing, resumed spearing Leela. His
capacity for rational thought left him, and left only a lifetime's worth
of repressed sexual frustration. Watching Leela eat Amy out, Leela's face
covered in the combination of their love juices and Amy playing with
herself, Kif couldn't hold himself back and began to step up his

Amy began to moan as Leela's tongue pushed deeper in, licking her snapper
clean of her juices from her previous orgasms, making room for her next one.
*She's good at this* she thought, feeling Leela's tongue encircle her clit,
her tongue moving with every of Kif's thrusts.

"Oh Leela, you're a good pussy eater, oh play with my clitty, that's it! OH
faster, faster!" Amy shouted.

Leela was the meat in this sex sandwich, and she was enjoying every second
of it. She could feel her climax coming, and knew from Amy that hers was
coming soon.

"Kif, harder, faster!" Amy cried, watching as her boyfriend's cock seemed to
become a blur, he was fucking Leela so fast. Every thrust forced Leela's face
into Amy's burning hot snatch.

It wasn't long before one of them was bound to cum. Amy was first, signaling
with an inarticulate moan as she had a gushing orgasm, her pussy's love
juices gushed and squirted over Leela's face as her mouth filled with her
female cum. Leela had no choice but to continue eating as much of her juices
as possible, feeling the juices squirting over her face.

Next to cum was Kif, whose orgasm was signaled by a grunt as he jammed his
cock as far as he could into Leela's pussy, then began to spray his green
semen into Leela, his cock pulsating like a fire hose into her.

Between the orgasm in her mouth and the one in her snatch, Leela had no
other option but to cum herself. She felt the orgasm overcome her, and her
body stretched out, forcing her face directly onto Amy's snatch, while her
vaginal muscles contracted, milking the green sperm cumming from Kif's cock.
It had been ages since she had cum this hard, and her body caught her mind
completely unprepared. All she could do was swim in the pleasure that
overcame her as Kif blew his load in her. Pulling out his cock with a loud
clear pop, Leela could feel his green sperm running down her legs, forming
a not so small puddle on the floor.

The three lay there, huffing and sighing for longer than anyone could have
kept track of. Leela was so shook up by what she had done, but more than that
she was beyond surprised that not only did she like it, she loved it!

Amy, on the other hand, hadn't yet filled her voracious sexual appetite.
Looking over to her boyfriend, she crawled over, still nude, her form
tanned in juices of love. She reached over to Kif's sleeping dragon, her
hands stroking the limp member, which began at once to balloon.

"Think you got another round in you Kiffy?" Amy asked sweetly as her hands
ran up and down his engorged shaft, she could already feel the precum oozing
around her hands.

Kif's only response were familiar excited garbled words between huffs, but
Amy got the gist of what he meant. She continued stroking him for a little
bit, until she could feel him hard and waiting.

Amy got on her hands and knees, waiting for Kif's throbbing green rocket to
dock. She felt her boyfriend coming behind her when she got a wicked idea.
Rubbing her finger alongside her dripping box, she began to lubricate her
pink rosebud, deciding that it was Kif's turn to try backdoor shenanigans.

She probed a finger in first, trying to lubricate the opening more than
anything else, with Kif's precum she didn't anticipate much of a need. She
dipped her fingers back into her honey pot, and inserted a second, then a
third, and a fourth finger, feeling she had been lubricated enough.

Kif was noticeably confused, he watched the strangely erotic sight before
him as Amy began to finger bang her asshole, his green monster centimeters
away from her. Amy looked back, noticing the confusion on Kif's face, and
guided his green monster to the lubed up anal entrance.

Kif stopped, his desire to fuck far outweighed by his concern for Amy. Amy
grabbed one of her ass cheecks with either hands, and shouted at Kif "Fuck my

That was all that Kif needed, and he pushed his cock into Amy. He met with
much stiffer resistance from her much tighter backdoor. He continued to push,
his pace greatly reduced, a result of both his concern and her tightness.

It wasn't more than a couple minutes before he buried half a foot of his
bone inside her, and she was moaning for more. Kif could hardly move his
cock farther into her, she was tight like a vice. Yet still she shouted
for more, and Kif was more than happy to comply.

Kif grabbed one of Amy's cheeks with either hands, spreading them farther
apart as he redoubled his efforts. He could feel the hot dripping juices
coming from Amy's sopping pussy, and he knew in an instance she was really
enjoying this.

Leela had been trying to reorganize her mind, but hearing Amy shout "Fuck my
Ass!" shook her out of it. She looked over and saw just that. She could still
taste both of them in her mouth, and that's when she got an idea, to make
things better for her.

Amy did everything she could to relax her anal muscles, loving the sensation
as Kif pushed more and more of his alien meat into her. She could feel the
precum begin to ooze in her and as she became more slippery Kif could control
himself better as he continued to ream her.

As Kif felt his cock gain more slack, he started to speed up. Amy felt every
single grove and bump in Kif's wang as he continued his anal assault. Soon
she felt half of his eighteen inches ramming in and out of her.

"Your turn," Leela said, sitting right in front of Amy, her gaping pussy
wide open. She didn't know what she was getting herself into. Amy hadn't told
anyone at Planet Express that she was bisexual, and had spent more than her
fair share of women along with men. Amy lapped eagerly at Leela's dripping
snatch, practically drinking all the juices from her.

As Amy ate Leela out, Kif was working more and more, and was beginning to
make some real headway into her backway. With each rapid thrust inward the
sheer force pushed Amy, farther into Leela's pussy. She was moaning into
Leela's snatch as she ate her out, tasting the sweet and sour blend of
Leela's girl cum and her boyfriend's alien seed blend in her mouth.

"Smack my ass, fuck MEEEE!" Amy screamed in a high pitch voice between gasps.
Kif wasn't exactly sure how he should smack her ass, but he did push more of
his green dong into her, and started fucking her faster, and harder. Amy
responded by pushing herself back, and arching her back, trying to push as
much of him as she could. Meanwhile, her tongue danced across Leela's clit,
her ears were pressed against Leela's legs, so she couldn't hear the
delicious cries of pleasure that Leela felt as she was experience the best
oral sex in her life.

Leela began to caress her breasts, the massive globes were soaked in the
sweat of love making, her nipples aflame with passion as her direct
subordinate, whom she had just eaten out while her boyfriend fucked her,
was not eating her out as her boyfriend was fucking her up the ass.

Kif upped the tempo again, the combination of his precum, along with a great
deal of effort on both his and Amy's behalf had abated her tightness, and
before long he had over a foot of green cock buried in her, ramming into her
faster and faster. He was surprised when he saw Leela's hand rise up, landing
smack bottom on Amy, leaving a small red mark. Amy cried out louder, and Kif
seemed to get the idea. That didn't stop Leela from smacking her ass another
few times, before Amy playfully bit on her clit, sending Leela reeling as her
orgasm was approaching.

Amy moaned, her face was buried in Leela's snatch, she could feel Kif from
behind, each thrust pushing her forward, along with more of Kif's cock, and
each pull out gave her but a moment to gasp air as she was once again head
first into Leela's soaking box. She felt another smack on her ass, and almost
had gotten up to shout at Leela when she realized it was Kif who smacked her
ass, as he had nearly all of his foot and a half monster deep in her. She
could feel her own orgasm coming up.

Amy began to gently massage Leela's clit with her nose as she licked out her
dripping snatch first, then surprised her by sticking her tongue straight up
Leela's pink puckered anus with no warning. Leela hopped off the ground when
she did, and her landing only served to stick the tongue farther up her.
Leela had never had anal sex, neither had she had oral sex in her anus, and
the shock was off putting, only for a moment, as she felt herself upon the

Kif gave one more fierce thrust, his cock fully inside Amy's ass. Amy
continued to tongue Leela's anal entrance as Kif started on the home stretch,
pulling half of himself out at a time, then ramming it in, feeling the Amy
pushed back, enjoying the ass reaming she was receiving.

Suddenly and without warning, Leela cried out as her orgasm overtook her,
Amy's masterful carpet munching. Her legs flailed wildly as she came, her
hands instinctively holding Amy's head in place. Amy could barely breath,
but it was only a moment later before she felt Kif smack both cheeks of
her ass at the same time, and a second later she felt a flood of green
swimmers filling up her backside. The two orgasms set herself off, and she
could feel her pussy gushing girl cum as she had her most aggressive orgasm
of the day, clamping down tightly on Kif's cock, milking it for everything
that it was worth. She gulped down every drop of Leela's cum, savoring the
taste. Kif continued to unload into her, she could feel herself fill up
with green sperm so much that she could feel it begin to squirt out between
her anus and his cock.

A minute later Leela's orgasm subsided. Kif was done in another minute, his
green cock slicked by his cum popped out. Amy, now free for the first moment
in a while, took the opportunity to try a new yoga trick she'd learned.
Laying on her back she pulled her feet behind her head, and began to eat
herself out. She started first on her pussy, cleaning off all of the various
juices that had been there during their sex romp. She moved quickly on
though, and began to collect the green cum Kif had just planted there. She
could taste her own pussy and ass along with Kif's sperm as her cheeks
ballooned. She continued like that for at least five minutes, both Kif and
Leela were too tired to pay much attention.

After she had gathered as much sperm as she could fit in her mouth
comfortably, she went over to where Leela was huffing. Without a word (as a
mouth full of sperm tends to inhibit that) she went over, open mouth kissing
her and giving her a mouthful of love juices. Leela was surprised to find a
mouthful of love juice in her mouth. She decided to do the same thing,
snowballing the sperm into Amy's mouth again. The two of them shared Kif's
sperm for a couple minutes before eventually swallowing it together.
_ _ _

I guess the best way to describe the M/Impreg thing is to say that it's sort
of explained in the episode. And screw it if you wanted to read about it.
Well, anyways, hope you dug it, watch Family Guy on Fox and Seth Macfarlane's
new one, American Dad. Also send me vast amounts of money and uh...well just
send me vast amounts of money. Or feedback is good too.

(This file was created by [email protected], so send all flames
there. Don't use without permission, and don't claim it's yours. Spread
freely as long as this and the disclaimer above as well as the story
entirely are untouched, unedited, and worshipped for the holy script they
are not.)

Critiques, comments, flames, any responses are welcome, if they are pro,
then I'll consider making more. Don't be a jerk, send me a simple 2-minute
or less message saying, hey, this was good. Thanks. Wow, so hard.


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