My So-Called Life: My So-Called Love Life (ff)
After all that had happened lately, Sharon was not that surprised to open
her front door to find Angela standing on the porch looking lost, hurt, and
teary-eyed. "Can we, like, talk?" she'd said in a voice heavy with emotion,
fidgeting from one foot to the other self-consciously, and Sharon had, of
course, invited her in. They'd been back on speaking terms for a while now,
though Sharon kept her mouth shut on many issues concerning Angela. Tonight,
she would finally speak a bit more freely.
"What's wrong with me, Sharon?" Angela whined in a voice raspy from crying
as they sat on one of the beds in Sharon's room, like they always had growing
up together as best friends. "Why can't I just relax? Why do I always freeze
up when Jordan tries to go all the way with me?"
Sharon, looking at her in an almost motherly way, scoldingly, asked, "What
Ducking her head, Angela told her the story of how Brian had written the
apology note for Jordan, how he had pretty much admitted his feelings for
her, and how she had gotten in the car with Jordan anyway, all told through
the veil of her dyed red hair hanging over her face. She wasn't sure why she
had left Brian just standing there. Maybe, in hindsight, that had been a
cruel thing to do. After all, Brian's note had put Angela and Jordan back
together, when Brian wanted Angela for himself. But even he knew that when
it came to Jordan, Angela's brain sort of shorted out.
As usual, Jordan had taken her somewhere to park and tried to coax her
into sleeping with him, as if forgiving him for what he'd done with Rayanne
suddenly meant she was ready.
"I just freaked out again," Angela said in a tone of self-loathing. "I
couldn't go through with it. He was, like, touching my thigh, and I knew
what he was leading up to, but I just told him to stop." Her face crumpled
into fresh sobs. "And he goes, 'Oh, so Rayanne will sleep with me, but you
won't?' I got pissed and stormed out."
"Who wouldn't after a boneheaded comment like that?" Rolling her eyes, Sharon
bobbed her head around while she spoke, which made the ponytail on her head
bounce and swish. "I mean, I know Jordan's gorgeous, but while they were
handing out brains..."
"You shouldn't say things like that about him," Angela chastised through her
tears. "He has a learning disability."
"What does that have to do with him being an insensitive asshole led around
by his dick?"
Not being able to help it, Angela burst out laughing. Sharon didn't have
obscenity-filled outbursts very often, so it was fairly funny when she did.
"I mean it, Angela! You make too many excuses for him. You've got to face
it - he isn't very bright. And all he seems to want is sex. Is that really
what you want out of a boyfriend?"
Angela looked at her hands again, pretending her fingers were very
interesting. "I don't know what I want," she finally said. "Part of me knows
what you're saying is true, and that he did a really awful thing, sleeping
with Rayanne, but the other part just can't stop obsessing over him. That
part of me wants to see what sleeping with Jordan would be like." She said
this as if talking about sex with Jordan would make it happen. There was
obvious reluctance in her voice. "But I always freak and run. I'm such a
Sharon looked at Angela through that curtain of red hair and felt protective
affection for her. She tapped the other girl's knee. "You're just scared
because you don't have much experience, and Jordan's about as gentle as a
raging bull." She was pleased to bring another smile to Angela's face with
that remark. "You just need a little knowledge to loosen you up. To get to
know your own body and what it can feel." Sharon paused, then asked, "Do you
Stunned, Angela could not reply for a moment, only let out a high-pitched
laugh as a dark blush seeped into her cheeks. "I can't believe you asked me
"Oh come on, Angela, we're women of the 90's." Sharon sat up straighter,
"But to ask me something like that..." She looked tentatively at the
brown-haired beauty who had been voted the girl with the best rack in school
on that childish poll earlier in the year, and let her eyes dart over those
breasts now, pushing at the fabric of Sharon's cotton pajama top. Angela
wondered if she ever touched those breasts, making the nipples hard as they
were now. They poked at the pajama top; Angela could make them out clearly.
She blushed deeper, and gave in to her curiosity. "Do you?"
Sharon knew that Angela needed confidence; she needed this to stop being such
a big deal. Reassurance from a friend would help. She responded, "Sure!" very
cheerfully, and added, "My mother has a vibrator. She tried to hide it, but I
found it, and I've used it."
Angela practically dove into the covers, squealing embarrassed laughter at
just the nonchalant tone of Sharon's voice when she declared that she had not
only masturbated, but had used a vibrator, a sex toy! Her mother's!
Not allowing Angela's shock to deter her one bit, Sharon continued, "There
is no shame in it, Angela. Adults do this stuff all the time." She kept her
unshakable, proud posture throughout this entire unorthodox conversation.
Angela still could not believe what she was hearing. "But - your mother's! I
could never do that with something that belonged to my mother." Just the
thought of Patty Chase even owning a thing like that made her head want to
implode. Sharon's mom was cool; Angela almost expected Camille Cherski to
have one, but her mother... Angela would die.
Sharon spat back, "What, do you think I wouldn't clean it first?!"
Angela's face disappeared into the covers again, issuing muffled guffaws.
Sharon smacked Angela's knee this time and said, "The problem is, you can't
make the decision of whether or not you should have sex with Jordan with a
clear head because you have so little experience with your own body and the
things it can feel. The whole idea of sex is just, like, scary to you. I'm
going to fix it so you can rebuff him 'cause he doesn't deserve you, not
because you're afraid."
Ignoring the insult, Angela cautiously asked, "How?"
Sharon grinned and nodded once, causing her ponytail to bob again. "I'm
giving you sex lessons!"
* * *
Lying on her stomach on Sharon's parents' bed, Angela felt a mixture of
nervousness and anticipation. Sharon had insisted they use her parents' bed
not only because it was bigger, but because her parents' room had a VCR.
Heath and Anne were currently on the TV screen stripping each other - the
girls had watched most of this "marital aid" tape once before, after school.
Angela thought it was just a porn tape with a self-help label, but since
she'd never seen real pornography, what did she know? Sharon knew where her
parents hid practically everything, including the super fattening cookies
her father was not supposed to have but indulged in anyway, and their stash
of soft-core porn.
Sharon had been with Kyle. Sharon was experienced. Not as experienced as
Rayanne, but experienced in a classy way.
She asked the first difficult question of their encounter. "The other time we
watched this tape, did you get kind of hot?"
Angela ducked her head, wide-eyed. "Umm... kinda." She wasn't sure what else
to say, so she asked, "Are you sure your parents aren't going to come home
while we're watching this?"
"Yes, Angela, I told you - they're out of town. Just relax."
How could she relax under the growing sexual tension as they watched the two
attractive lovers caress each other on the screen, knowing that Sharon had
some sort of plan for her that she'd called "sex lessons"? In the back of her
mind, she desired the sweet, intimate comfort the other girl was just about
promising to provide after another disastrous encounter with Jordan. Did that
make her weird, that she felt comforted by the idea of letting Sharon touch
her, but couldn't let Jordan get into her pants?
No. That wasn't weird at all. Sharon was an old trusted friend, and it wasn't
like they were in love or something. This was instruction. Experimentation.
Although, the fact that Angela knew Sharon's parents had a pair of handcuffs
in this very room somewhere made it all a little awkward. It wasn't like
Sharon was going to use them on her or anything! Or... would she?
Angela suddenly laughed, stifling it behind her hand.
Sharon looked at her fondly. She suddenly asked, "Is it making you hot now?"
Blushing, she shifted in the bed. "Yeah."
"What does that make you want to do?"
Angela swallowed hard. "I don't know. I'd like to do stuff with Jordan, but
you know how that always goes..."
After a pause, Sharon said, "Before you give it up to him, you should make
him go down on you. I got Kyle to do it all the time. God, that feels so good
when a guy does it right."
I will not react like a stupid little girl by giggling at what she just said.
"Yeah." Sharon moved closer to her. She smelled like some type of sweet
perfume. "Turn over on your back."
Angela willingly did it, craving not only relief from the heat between her
legs, but a settling of her curiosity to know what all of those things Jordan
wanted to do felt like.
"Have you ever let Jordan feel you up?"
Looking up at Sharon, Angela shook her head.
Sharon took one of Angela's hands and put it on one of her own small
breasts, the ones definitely not voted the best rack in school, and caressed
it through her shirt with both of their fingers. The nipple instantly began
to respond. Angela let out a soft breath of surprise, but also approval. "It
feels even better when someone else does it," Sharon informed her.
Angela enviously ran her eyes over Sharon's breasts again. "Yours are so much
better. They're just perfect."
Taking a quick look at where Angela's eyes were focused, Sharon just
shrugged. "I don't always feel so great about them, but thanks anyway." She
suddenly took her top off over her head, exposing her breasts. "Kyle could
never get enough of sucking them. Men go so nuts over tits."
Angela glanced at her own lack of a chest and grew solemn. Realizing what she
was thinking, Sharon tried to take her mind off of it and move on. She was
starting to tremble. "I want you to keep touching your breasts, okay? Get
really familiar with those puppies."
Angela chortled, and continued fingering at her nipples through her shirt.
Although she felt a little embarrassed over this act, she also started to get
into it. Something about looking at Sharon's naked breasts while she touched
her own just made it more intense, made her more excited much quicker. Angela
began to squirm on the bed.
"Before you ever let Jordan get into your pants, even though he doesn't
deserve it, I want you to make sure he does this, Angela. It'll make it feel
Before Angela could ask what she meant, Sharon had started to undo her pants.
She didn't recoil, didn't squirm out of it, just allowed Sharon to do what
she wanted, beginning to breathe quicker. Sharon slid a hand down inside,
into Angela's panties; her fingers slipped in-between the lips there to find
the area already very wet. Angela gasped when Sharon's fingers pressed on her
"I can't believe you've never fingered yourself before," Sharon remarked.
Angela couldn't believe it either when she felt the intense pleasure it sent
through her body when Sharon slid her fingers up and down between her thighs.
Every stroke over her clit made her quiver and want to moan out loud. "God,
that's so..." Angela breathed out loudly.
"Yeah, exactly," Sharon grinned. She recalled the first time Kyle had put
his hand under her skirt and fingered her for at least half an hour while he
kissed her neck. Sharon could live on that attention.
She soon stepped up the speed at which her fingers moved, covering more area,
diving into each fold before nearly attacking Angela's clit with fast pulses
of touch, not stopping, circling around and on top of it with the tips of her
first two fingers. Angela at first sucked in a loud breath, then panted
harder and harder until her hips began to grind back.
"It... is it... it feels... it's almost too much when you do that!" Angela
moaned, but she wasn't making any move to stop her.
"See what I told you?" As she continued fingering Angela, Sharon watched the
sex video on the TV. Excited too, and curious, she wanted to go further.
"Hey, help me get these off, okay?"
Angela assisted Sharon in the removal of her jeans and panties so she
wouldn't have to stop what her busy hand was doing. Now naked below the
waist, she could see Sharon's hand working between her legs; the sight
was fascinating and a little embarrassing at the same time. What Sharon
did next was an action the two of them would keep between themselves,
for it was too intimate to be explained away by the idea that Sharon
was just instructing Angela in the ways of her body.
She remarked, "Just wait until you get Jordan to do this," and dipped her
head in-between Angela's legs, taking her hand away and instead, running her
tongue over the girl's clit and in-between the lips of her pussy. Angela
shivered so hard, the quaking could almost be called violent, and let out an
involuntary cry of pleasure. Shockwaves of delicious frenzy tickled up her
spine at the need for Sharon to do that again.
Before Angela could recover, the other girl brought her head down a second
time and licked at the pulsing clit several times, beginning to circle and
then press down on it, like she had done with her fingers, just imitating
what Kyle did when he did these things to her.
Angela shuddered again at the renewed assault to her self-control. She
couldn't help but make noise in response, moaning and crying out. Part of
her wanted to ask questions that she knew were stupid, like, "Is it supposed
to feel that good?" but that was exactly why she didn't ask them. She knew
the answers. This is why Jordan was always pressuring her to have sex with
him: because it felt so mind-numbingly good. It was so intense to almost be
too much to take, but contained so much pleasure that one willingly took the
"Ahhh... ahhh... uhh... God..." Angela refused to moan Sharon's name. That
would make it too much like a lover's encounter.
It didn't take long for her to start shaking harder and moaning louder,
breath catching in her throat. She would soon orgasm, Sharon would make sure,
because she wanted Angela to understand all that her body could experience
As tremors started in her legs, Angela realized this was building up to
something. Was this really how it happened? Was this an orgasm? And was
Sharon about to give one to her? She put that out of her mind; it would
ruin it, and at this point, Angela wanted it.
Sharon licked down hard, then repeated this action, going deep inside before
coming back up to concentrate on the other girl's clit. Her tongue undulated
there. Angela, giving a massive quiver, panted until her breath suddenly
stopped, turning into a loud, shrill gasp. "AhhhUHhhh!" she cried; real words
weren't necessary to express how it felt. True pleasure rarely needed actual
words. Angela's legs tensed up, nearly pinning Sharon's head between her
thighs, but they almost instantly spread further open as she came. She cried
out until the orgasm played itself through. "Ahhh, ahh, ohhhhh!"
Sharon continued working with her tongue until Angela's vocalizations began
to quiet to heavy breaths, and the quiver in her legs and thighs started
to calm. When she finally lifted her head, she saw that Angela had been
watching the video on the TV throughout most of this encounter, where Heath
was just finishing up this same act on Anne. Angela didn't dare look at
Sharon just yet, not until the orgasm was completely over.
Sharon didn't need her to look at her to grin and say, "Didn't I say it would
be awesome? Wait until you feel actual sex."
* * *
After they had redressed, Angela and Sharon laid on the bed and watched
another part of the tape that amused them greatly, where another couple
engaged in some very bad acting as well as the sexual act. The laughter
they shared kept everything light in a situation that could have gotten
tense very fast, after what they had just done.
As the scene ended, Sharon posed another deep question. "So have you forgiven
Angela sighed. She bit at a thumbnail between sentences. "I don't know. I
really don't. A part of me just misses him. Too much."
"What about Rayanne? If you forgive Jordan, shouldn't you forgive her?"
"No," Angela immediately responded. "What she did was different."
"Because she was your friend?" Sharon asked, already knowing this was the
Angela did not speak, only looked at her hands and nodded. She eventually
found enough voice to say, "I miss her too."
"You two need to talk. Rayanne didn't do it to hurt you," Sharon reminded
"Whose side are you on?" replied Angela in a hurt tone.
"I'm with you, Angela, it was horrible, what they did. But I worry about you
when you're going off with Jordan like nothing happened." Sharon paused,
giving Angela a serious look. "And what are you going to say to Brian?"
Sighing again, Angela sunk lower in the bed. "I don't even want to think
about that right now."
"Right, no thinking allowed." Thinking too hard about things could be
disastrous, like what the implications were of two friends who had just
shared their first sexual encounter, but were reluctant to discuss it.
Using the remote, Sharon turned off the video and nudged Angela's knee
one last time. "Let's go pig out on Ben and Jerry's."