Disclaimer: Some of the characters in this are fictional, some are not (well,
to the extent any politicians can be considered real). This is satirical
fiction. I do not really think the President and his staff behave like that,
they ain't that human. If you can't handle it, too bad.

Feedback: [email protected]

Note: Ned and Moze are 14, Nicole is 15

Codes: mm, mf, mff, ff, bi (brief), catfight (offscreen), cons, first, oral,
mast, rom

Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide/Zoey 101: Sex Education Video
by Lil' White Rabbit and Tricksterson


Jennifer Mosely, a tall brunette more commonly known simply as "Moze" was
sitting, a bit nervously, in a director's chair in the school gym, which
had been converted to a movie set, dressed in a large grey bathrobe, white
panties that had little pink hearts on them and matching ankle socks. Next
to her, on the right side, also sitting in a director's chair, was her best
friend Ned, also in a big grey bathrobe but barefoot. Whether he was wearing
panties with hearts on them she didn't know but she doubted it.

She would be finding out soon though because they would be making a movie,
what some would call a porn movie, but since it was being made under the
auspices of the Department of Education it was classified as an "educational

On the left side of Moze was an empty director's chair with the name "Nicole"
on it with a big pink heart to either side of the name. The person who should
have been sitting there, a relentlessly perky brunette who was the film's
professional actress and "star" was the reson why Moze was looking in Ned's
direction with a muderous glare because she was sitting instead on Ned with
her arms around his neck and her tongue down his throat.

'Not that I'm was jealous', Moze told herself. 'It's the unprofessional
sluttiness that pisses me off. Ned's an idiot anyway.'

She had to admit though that at least Nicole had been up front about her
behavior. When the three of them had first been introduced to each other
she had told them that she had been diagnosed with Obssessive Male Gender
Disorder. "Which," she had said, "was a polite way of saying that I'm a
nympho. Later it was changed to Omnisexual Compulsion which means that
I'll fuck pretty much anyone or anything. That's when they recruited me."
They being the Department of Education's black-ops department.

Moze hadn't even known the DoE *had* a black-ops department but apparently
they did and they had recruited her and Ned as well, although only on a
temporary basis. She had been reluctant at first but when they told her
she'd be getting extra credit she signed right up as had Ned who had been
recuited when he had answered a survey to find the horniest boys in school.
Cookie and Billy Loomer had also been recruited but dismissed by Nicole,
who was not only the film's star but a co-director, on the grounds of being
"way too creepy".

The budding porn star looked up from snogging one co-star to see the other
staring at them. Apparently oblivious of Moze's hostility she smiled and
said, "Don't worry hun, I'm not about to neglect you." then got up and
promptly transferred herself to the taller girl's lap.

"I was just warming him up baby. Now it's your turn," Nicole said, putting
one arm around the other girl's shoulders and sliding the hand of the other
one into her bathrobe to fondle one of the bigger girl's large round tits
while nuzzling her neck with her lips. Like her co-stars she wore a bathrobe
but hers was pink and fluffy. She also had a pair of flip-flops on her

If her intent was to "warm up" her costar, it was working. Moze had been
somewhat flummoxed by the prospect of working girl-on-girl on screen, even
though she wasn't entirely foreign to girl-on-girl offscreen. Now she was
thinking that it might not be such a bad thing. When Nicole's lips moved to
hers she opened them to let the other girl's tongue in.

"Places people, Scene One is about to begin," Gordy, the school's janitor
recruited as set gofer called.

"Okay," the nympho on Moze's lap said, suddenly all business. "This film will
be about the Three Basic positions and some girl-on-girl. We'll start with
just sweetie-pie and me in the Missionary," she said, motioning at Ned. She
had promptly forgotten Moze and Ned's name upon meeting them, whether from
stupidity, self-centeredness or both neither of them were sure. "Then
Tall-and-Beautiful will join us and play cowgirl for her stallion, then it'll
be just us girls and the hunk comes back at the end to do me doggie style
once he's gotten his strength back. Everyone clear?" They both nodded. "Let's
get to it then."

Scene 1:

Nicole lay on her side, naked on the bed, head propped up on one arm, one
leg raised to hide her crotch in faux demureness. Ned was off camera, looking
both eager and anxious. She raised her free hand, smiled enticingly at him
and crooked a finger in invitation. He took a deep breath then stepped into
the camera's view as she licked her lips in anticipation of having his cock
in her.

When he reached the bed she could see he was still nervous as she pulled him
down next to her. 'Aw, crap, a virgin,' she thought. 'Why didn't they warn me
so I could break him in ahead of time.' Aloud she purred at him and said,
"Just lay back and let Mama Nicole take care of you baby," suddenly sounding
and even looking much more than just a year older than him. "Until it's time
for you to take care of me that is," she concluded with a smile.

She arranged him on his back and kissed his stomach, then lower. She didn't
put her mouth on his cock at first, rather she kissed and licked around the
base while praying to avoid premature ejaculation, then took each of his
testicles in her mouth in turn before running her tongue all the way up to
his tip in one, slow lick. She held his glans in her mouth but didn't suck
while she ran a finger up and down his length, testing his fullness.

"Be right back hun," Nicole said and got off the bed and went offscreen,
returning with a handful of condom wrappers. After all, this was meant to be
a video about *safe* sex. Plus it let her co-star cool down a bit. She wanted
him coming in her, not on her.

She slowly rolled the rubber onto his cock, knowing that the camera would be
zooming iin on this moment, then lay down and guided it into her, snarling,
"Fuck me!"

She moaned as he entered her. *This* was why she had signed up for the
program. The automatic diploma without having to go to school was nice, so
was the expense account that paid for her food, hotel rooms and clothes, not
to mention the possibility of becoming the next Jenna Jameson once she became
legal but what she really loved was the feel of a guy's cock in her cunt,
although tongue and fingers, whether male or female, were nice too. She
hadn't been kidding around when she'd told the other two kids that she was a
nympho. Fucking was what her life was centered around and she didn't want it
any other way.

"Unnh....Spread your legs a bit for the they...ohhh...can
get a shot of...ohhhfuck...that great package of yours," she whispered. In
truth Ned was only about average sized but a little flattery never hurt and
the cameraman always wanted closeups of the guys cock pounding her pussy
which is why she shaved and why she resisted the urge to wrap her legs around
his waist, although she did let her fingers claw at his back.

Finally her orgasm hit and she let loose. "UNNNNGGGHHH! OHHHFUUUCCCKKK!!!" A
few more pumps and she felt him coming inside her as well, his eyes crossing
in that delightfully goofy expression men got when they came.

Scene 2:

Even though she was looking right at them it took Gordy tapping on her
shoulder and whispering, "You're on," to make Moze realize that it was
time for her to join Ned and Nicole in front of the camera. She had been
hypnotized by what they were doing, so much so that she had to remind
herself to take her fingers out of her crotch before taking off her robe
and marching onto the set.

But before she reached the bed Nicole sliced a finger across her throat,
stopping the cameras.

"Before we start sweetie, I've got to ask. Are you a virgin?"

Ned's face turning a bright red told Moze all she needed to know about why
the other girl was asking *that* question. Ned's presence made her hesitate
before answering but then she thought, 'What the hell, we're going to be
fucking soon anyway,' and said "No, but close." Like most of the girls at
the school she had had her cherry popped by Gordy and followed up with a
couple of one-nighters with the janitor.

"What about girls?"

"Not a virgin there either," she said, and had to keep from laughing at the
expression on Ned's face. She wondered what he would think if he knew that
she and Susie Crabgrass, the girl he had pined for all through middle school
had been on-and-off lovers for about a year before she had moved to another
school. It had been what had fueled their fierce competition.

"Good because it would be a shame to think of that hot glamazon body of yours
going to waste. Okay, let's get this show back on the road." She motioned to
the camera crew and they started filming as the two girls embraced and kissed
over Ned's prone body.

When they broke off Nicole peeled off the condom from Ned's now softening
cock and ducked her head down to start licking it back to workable condition,
motioning Moze to join her. The larger girl hesitated. Besides popping her
cherry Gordy had also taught her to give head. One of the things she had
learned was that having a rubber on left an unpleasant aftertaste.

Seeming to read her mind, her costar said, "It's okay, I only use mint
flavored ones."

Moze took a suspicious, tentative lick, then another. Nicole was proved
right, her friend's dick had a sweet minty taste to it, not unlike a candy
cane. Like a candy cane both girls were soon licking happily away at it only
with the opposite effect because instead of shrinking it grew and grew.

Once their partner was fully erect and another rubber was put on Nicole
pulled Moze off, gave her nipples a suck and then arranged her so that she
was straddling Ned, the trimmed brown bush of her pussy hovering over his
member in true cowgirl style.

Moze hestitated before sinking down on her best friend's cock. Hesitated
*because* he was her best friend. Once the film was done Nicole would leave,
probably never to be seen again except in pleasant and horny memories. She
and Ned however would be seeing each other every day.

Her anxieties dulled however when she felt the other girl's pubic bone
pressing against her ass and her hands snaking under the taller girl's arms
to stroke and scratch at her tits.

"Fuck him baby. You know you want to." There was no denying that so she sank
down onto him, bringing a pleasure filled groan from Ned. Closing her eyes
she felt the sensual friction of his antrance and uttered a low groan of her
own, followed by a louder one as Ned's hands joined Nicole's in pawing her
tits and a third, loudest of all, when one of Nicole's hands moved from her
breast to her groin, rubbing at her G-Spot. This, together with the vigorous
fucking she was receiving from the boy below her soon had her shuddering and
screaming incoherently in a deeper orgasm than Gordy or Susie had ever given
her. While Moze rode up and down her school chum's pole their partner kept
busy not only by masturbating the other girl but herself, chanting, "Yah! Oh
Yah! Fuck him, fuck him, fuckimfuckiiimmm!"

She felt Ned coming inside her and fell slowly forward, finding herself face
to face with her friend, lips less than an inch away from each other. Oddly
enough, after what they had just done, it was the thought of kissing him that
made her blush. What they had just done was sheer animal pleasure, kissing
was...different, special. Their lips touched, then opened.

"No time for that, sweeties, on to the next scene. You can always make with
the mushy-mush afterwards," came Nicole's relentlessly cheerful chirp of a
voice, breaking the moment. While her costars, especially Ned, were starting
to wear out her sexual energy and sunny disposition seemed relentless.

"Okay, fine, what's up next?," the taller girl grumbled, sending a glare
Nicole's way that the pornographic Pollyanna didn't even seem to notice.

"Well, first, hunny bunny here," she said gesturing towards Ned, "is going
off to the sidelines to rest and recover for the final scene. And then I have
you all to myslef."

Scene 3:

Nicole saw the way her co-star was looking at the departing Ned and said,
"Someone special, huh?"

Moze blushed and relpied a bit too quickly, "No, just a friend."

The pornstar wannabe rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. Well, this scene won't
shoot itself." She ran a hand down the other girl's spine and cupped one of
her butt cheeks, giving it a squeeze.

Moze turned towards her, lowering her lips to one of her partner's smaller
but firm tits and sucked.

"Mmmm, I'm not your first girl, am I?"

Moze grunted in the negative.

Nicole leaned back and spread her legs. "Why don't you show me what you

In response the younger girl smiled and moved down between her legs. Moze
had always been unable to resist a challenge. She pushed the other girl's
thighs a little further apart then licked where leg joined torso, provoking
a moan then started licking up the middle, starting at the bottom of
Nicole's slit and pushing her tongue inward as she went up, smiling to
herself at the trembling this produced.

"Ohh! Oh yes! Oh good!" The young porn actress knotted her hands in Moze's
hair even as she fought against instinct to keep her legs wide open for the
camera instead of wrapping them around the other brunette's head and

Moze's mouth reached the older girl's clit and sucked, making her body buck
and heave in climax.


As soon as the body beneath her stopped shaking, the young glamazon moved up
her partner's body to plant her crotch down on her face.

"Turn around hun," Nicole whispered. "The audience will want to see your

The amateur trollop listened to the more experienced harlot, shrugged and
turned, then settled down on the other girl's face with a sigh that soon
turned to a moan as her twat was pierced by the tongue of the minx below
her. She was tempted to lean forward and make it a sixty-nine but had been
told not to because it would hide both their pussies from the camera.

Nicole reached up to settle her co-star more firmly than began stroking the
thighs and rear above her. She briefly considered inserting a finger into her
fellow lolita's ass but refrained. Anal was for the advanced classes.

"Unnngghh!" Moze groaned as she closed her eys and bucked her hips. She
reached down to let her fingers join Nicole's tongue in stimulating her clit
while her other hand played with her tits.

"UNNNNNNHHH! FUCKYESSS!! FUUUCCCKKK!!!" she shrieked as white hot bolts of
pleasure ran through every inch of her body.


When her eyes could focus again she looked off set and what she saw was
almost as much of a shock to her system as the orgasm had been but in the
opposite direction.

There, topless and kneeling between Ned's legs, blond head bobbing up and
down was Missy Meany.

"What is *she* doing here?" Moze snarled. She wouldn't have minded so much
if it had been Ned's other previous girlfriend, Suzie Crabgrass. After all,
she and Ned had basically shared Susie, even if Ned didn't know it and she
had gotten further with the other girl than Ned had. But she and Missy had
real and genuine hate going on between them.

Fortunately they were between scenes so the cameras were off. Nicole's answer
was muffled by the fact that the larger girl was still sitting on her face.
Once Moze moved she sat up, looked in the direction the other girl was
glaring and answered, "Oh, that's the girl who came in second to you in the
screen test. We gave her a job as a fluffer. Why, you jealous?"

"No, of course not. Like I said, we're just friends." This time Moze sounded
unconvincing even to herself and recieved a "Who do you think your kidding?"
look from the other brunette.

"Well, we're ready for the next scene so if you want to go discuss matters
with her, be my guest."

Moze didn't need to be told twice. She surged off of the bed, across the
stage and without pausing grabbed Missy by her blond locks and dragged her
literally kicking and screaming into the girl's locker room.

Ned started to go after them but Gordy caught his eye and slowly shook his
head. older and, in his odd way, wiser, the janitor knew that only a man with
a death wish got between two fighting females.

"This way, loverboy," Nicole cooed from the set. Duty called and when duty
was attached to some seriously hot nookie who was he to say no?

Scene 4:

When he turned and saw Nicole standing bent over the end of the bed, wiggling
her pert little bum at him he knew that he had made the right decision. His
erection, which had drooped slightly when Moze dragged Missy off of him came
back in full, especially after he took a butt cheek in each hand and

"Oooh," Nicole squealed, "Don't forget to give the girls up front some
attention too. As she leaned forward to do just that she said, in a husky
voice, "Do it. Shove your big, hard cock into my hot, wet pussy."

He needed no more urging than that. He pushed into her, bringing a lusty
moan from her that was matched by his own. Ignoring the distant bangs, howls
and shrieks coming from the locker room he started pounding his partner's
steaming cunt rhythmically.

"Unnnnnnngghhhh!" Nicole groaned, rearing up and giving Ned ample
opportunity to once more grope her tits as he pumped away inside her, helped
by the fact that her standing had tightened her cunt around his member.

It wasn't until she lay exhausted underneath him that he realized that he
hadn't used a condom. "Oh shit!" he said.

When she asked him what the problem was and he explained, she smiled and told
him, "It's okay hun, I'm also on the Pill. The rubbers are for demonstration
purposes and for our other sweetie's benefit.

He heaved a sigh of relief and he pulled out. However, his relief was short
lived as Moze strode out of the locker room like a warrior fresh from battle,
and a naked one at that.

And there was no doubt that she had been in a battle. Ned didn't know what
had happened to Missy and wasn't sure he wanted to but she had evidently
given a good account of herself. Moze's hair looked like it was missing a
few chunks and she sported what promised to becom a major league bruise
beneath her right eye.

"What happened to Missy?" Gordy asked as Moze stormed past.

"In her locker," the Amazonian wench answered over her shoulder on her way
towards Ned. When she reached him she didn't say a word, just pulled him into
her embraced and laid the mother of all kisses on him.

"I love a happy ending," Nicole said dryly as Gordy went into the girls
locker room to investigate and was soon heard calling for the jaws of life.


Of course the Department of Education doesn't have a black-ops program. But
the NSA does and that was what funded the Special Educational Film Project,
the product of which was viewed only by a very few high up government
officials, their very special guests and selected foreign leaders. It had
been created during the Kennedy Administration, shut down by Jimmy Carter
and then reinstituted by Bill Clinton. Big surprise.

Currently the audience gathering in a small dark room in the bowels of
the White House to "review" the latest film consisted of the President,
Vice-President, Secretary of State, a Cardinal of the Catholic Church,
late of Boston, and one of the most powerful evangelical leaders in the
country, one who had recently threatened a town in Pennsylvania with the
wrath of God for refusing to teach intelligent design in it's schools.

The President put the DVD in, the Secretary darkened the room and the
Vice-President got popcorn.

Before the actual movie came on topless pictures of the children appearing
in the flick flashed on the huge flatscreen TV they were watching with their
names above their heads.

"Moses?" Said the Vice President, squinting. "Odd name for a girl. Still, I
wouldn't mind *her* taking me to the Promised Land." He was one of those
annoying people who keeps up a running commentary during movies.

There were murmurs of approval when Nicole appeared. She was a favorite of

* * *

By the time the movie was over, the elite audience watching it had spent
themselves except for the Secretary and President. Her clothes more than
halfway off, her eyes were rolled up in her head and her legs were spread
wide as she rubbed herself frantically as she worked on her third orgasm.
The Vice President was zipping up his pants while the Reverend and Cardinal
still had their hands on each others cum covered dicks.

Only the President remained fully dressed and undisheveled, an island of calm
and even dignity. He would wait until tonight when he would run the movie
over again in his head replacing the boy with himself and the two girls with
his daughters.

"I'm George Bush and I approve this movie," he whispered.


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