Disclaimer: This is a parody. These characters are not mine. I make no money
off them. This is written just for fun. If under the age of eighteen, feel
free to leave. Otherwise, enjoy the show.
Napoleon Dynamite (mf,MmF,mm,inter)
by The Fan ([email protected])
Napoleon Dynamite walked through the halls of Preston High School. He was a
tall, lean kid with dark red hair and brown eyes hiding behind horn-rimmed
glasses. Napoleon was one of those people who had difficulty fitting into the
tricky world of high school. He was a bit of a geek and he had many skills.
Drawing skills. Milk-tasting skills. Memory skills. Like any teenager,
Napoleon had his share of angst. He wanted to fit in. But he couldn't make
it. He had to deal with bullies at school. Dumb asses like Don ad Randy. At
home, he had to deal with his annoying older brother Kip and their meddling
uncle Rico. Today, Napoleon was entertaining a special guest in his house.
Napoleon looked at Pedro. Pedro smiled at his best friend and kissed him on
the lips. Slowly, Pedro undressed and Napoleon's eyes watched him. He watched
Pedro's well-muscled body. Pedro stood naked before his best friend. Napoleon
looked at Pedro's bronze skin, his well-defined abs and muscles. He looked so
damn sexy. "Your turn." he said.
Napoleon hesitated for a moment, then he began to undress. He took off his
shirt and pants. He stood, naked as the day he was born before his best
friend Pedro. Napoleon looked at him shyly. Pedro grinned.
"El blanco es un maricon." he said.
"What ?" said Napoleon.
"Nothing." said Pedro.
He kissed him. Napoleon put his arms around Pedro and Pedro caressed him. He
gently stroked Napoleon's face and soft lips. He caressed Napoleon's back and
chest. His hands went between Napoleon's legs and held his cock. Napoleon
gasped in surprise. Pedro smiled at Napoleon and went down on him, taking his
cock into his mouth. He sucked Napoleon's cock and felt it grow in his mouth.
Napoleon felt himself growing hard. Pedro was good at what he did, sucking
him off and licking his balls. Napoleon soon came all over Pedro's face.
Pedro licked off the cum without spilling a single drop. They sat facing each
other. Napoleon tentatively reached for Pedro's dick and stroked it until it
got hard. Pedro in turn took Napoleon's cock in his hand and they mutually
Pedro's expert hands got Napoleon hard in seconds. Pedro too got hard. He
climbed on top of Napoleon and their hard cocks pressed against each other.
Both boys were breating heavily. Playfully, they wrestled on the floor.
Napoleon found himself on top of Pedro. Pedro grinned. "Ready?" he asked.
Napoleon kissed him. "Yes."
Pedro's firm hands gripped Napoleon's waist. Napoleon felt Pedro's hard cock
press against his butt. He felt a little bit of fear.
"Be gentle." he said.
Pedro grinned. "Cross my heart and hope to die."
Pedro's cock slipped into Napoleon's ass. Napoleon felt a slight pain when
Pedro entered him. Pedro grimaced. Napoleon was so tight. He went into his
lover's anal canal and Napoleon winced in pain as Pedro went deeper into him.
He thrust hard and fast into Napoleon for a moment then stopped, letting
Napoleon get used to his girth. He fucked Napoleon for a long time and the
two of them went at it, sweat coming off their male bodies. Napoleon felt
Pedro's hard, throbbing cock inside of him and grunted as his lover came.
Hot cum filled Napoleon's insides. Napoleon screamed in pain and pleasure
and collapsed in Pedro's arms.
"How was it?" Pedro asked him.
Napoleon took a minute to recover. He smiled at Pedro. "Dynamite." he said.
* * *
Deb looked at Napoleon. She had known this strange boy for a few months now.
He was tall and geeky and totally not her type. Yet she had seen him do great
things. He seemed to care a great deal about his best friend Pedro. That type
of absolute loyalty was hard to come by these days. There was nothing, no
matter how big, small or embarassing that Napoleon Dynamite wouldn't do for
his friend Pedro.
At school, she saw him. He was awkward. Yet he dared stand up to the
incredibly beautiful - and bitchy - Summer Wheatley and her friend Trisha.
He also stood up to the dumb jocks at school. At school, everyone pretty
much went with the flow. People were careful around others and wanted to
fit in. No one dared go against the established social order. There was a
pecking order at school. There were the jocks, the cheerleaders and the
other people. Jocks and pretty girl cheerleaders ruled the school. The
other people were so desperate to please them in order to be accepted. It
was all about power and control in there. Yet Napoleon and Pedro took
everything the school and the world around them threw at them and gave it
Nerdy or not, they were gutsy and that made them acceptable in her book. More
than acceptable, likeable even. She got to know him and she actually liked
him. There were times when she felt like she might...no. Could it be? Her?
Deb...liking Napoleon Dynamite? Wow. She joined him at his table and they sat
down and ate lunch. He was actually okay to talk to. She liked him. Or at
least she liked spending time with him.
One time, he invited her to go see a movie. At school, his campaign to try
to get people to vote for his best friend Pedro was going well. They went to
the movies and saw Van Helsing. They took a ride in her car and went to his
house. He gave her a tour and she checked out his bedroom.
Deb kissed Napoleon and put her arms around him. Napoleon was surprised, then
he put his arms around her and returned her kiss. He caressed her body and
she touched his. They went to bed. She began taking her clothes off almost as
soon as they walked in. They started making out and feeling each other up and
down. He slipped his hands around her waist and slipped her thong down, and
started fingering her, playing with her clit with one hand, and shoving his
fingers into her pussy with the other. Deb reached down and slipped his
boxers down and started jacking him off, and then she crawled down under the
covers and started sucking him off. She took his dick out of her mouth and
licked up and down and then deep throated him again. Deb was totally focused
on sucking his dick, and she didn't notice Napoleon situating her so he could
eat her out while she sucked him off until she felt his tongue in her pussy.
She moaned into his dick and by doing that, made him cum in her mouth, which
in turn caused her to orgasm and fill his mouth with her cum. Deb crawled up
to him and laid on his chest and kissed him, mixing their cum.
His dick was hard again, and Deb guided it into her juicy pussy. She sat up
and started riding his dick, as he reached up, and played with her breasts,
rolling her nipples between his fingers with one hand, and held onto her ass
with the other to control her bounces. Napoleon flipped Deb over and started
fucking her as hard as he could, and rubbing her clit with one hand and
sucking on her nipples. She had the most mind blowing orgasm of her life up
to then, and her entire body shuddered, including her pussy, with Napoleon's
dick encased in it. This drove him to orgasm, and he fillled her pussy with
stream after stream of hot, white, creamy cum. He laid on top of her for a
while, and then rolled over, and took her in his arms. They laid together,
and were asleep almost instantly.
Deb woke up first. She looked at Napoleon. He actually looked cute while he
slept. She kissed him on the cheek. She had to leave. "Bye, Napoleon. Miss
you. Love, Deb." She let herself out.
When Napoleon came to, he saw that Deb had left. He looked at the note, and
smiled. He had just made it with a real cute girl. "Yes!!!" he said.
He put his pants back on and went to the kitchen to get some breakfast. He
was about to pour milk into his raisin brain cereal when he heard some noise.
He turned around to see...his older brother Kip...with someone.
"Kip?" he said.
He saw Kip in the middle of making out with a tall black woman. The two
lovers paused. "Yeah, Napoleon?" asked Kip.
The black girl looked at Napoleon. "Who's that?"
"I'm Napoleon." Napoleon said.
The black girl smiled. "I am called LaFawnduh and I am Kip's new main
squeeze." With that, she resumed kissing Kip, who strangely enough was clad
in in & out hip hop wear.
Napoleon just stared. He couldn't believe his eyes. Kip...with a hot black
female! Why was this so hard to believe? Napoleon himself had done some
bed-hopping recently, going from the bed of his best friend Pedro to that
of his lady friend Deb. He smiled and walked away.
"You don't have to leave." said LaFawnduh.
"You want me to stay?" asked Napoleon.
"If you want." said Kip.
Napoleon vaguely thought that it was a bit sick to watch his older brother
going at it with someone but still, LaFawnduh was hot!!!
LaFawduh took Kip's cock out of his pants and put it in her mouth. She sucked
his dick. She licked the shaft and sucked on Kip's balls. Napoleon joined in
the fun and entered the black woman's pussy from behind. LaFawduh sucked
Kip's cock and he caressed her head as Napoleon thrust in and out of her. He
held onto her by the hips and went deep inside her. Her pussy was so warm and
tight. He fucked it for a moment then pulled out. Her smooth round ass was
staring straight up at him. The pert, round globes were perfect as she held
them open for him and the tiny star shaped hole looked slick and inviting.
From his position, Kip could see that the younger man was in a clear state of
excitement. His massive cock was throbbing wildly as he held it firmly in his
hand and bent it down towards LaFawduh's impossibly tight hole. She was still
moaning loudly, but was now also trying to push her hips back towards
Napoleon's cock attempting to combat the empty feeling that she had in her
ass. She did not have long to wait. With a deep groan, he began to push his
enormous meat down and into her butt. Kip marveled at the sight. To start
with he thought that it would be impossible to fit such a large penis inside
such a small orifice, but he was delighted, and a little surprised to see his
girlfriend's asshole visibly widen and stretch as the invading cock was
firmly thrust into her.
Her head was buried between his legs, stifling her screams of passion and
pain as the young Napoleon pushed his cock past her anal muscle and sank in
to the hilt. LaFawnduh screamed as she experienced something she hadn't
experienced in a long time. An orgasm from being buttfucked. Napoleon watched
her hips bounce up to meet the hard cock, Kip saw her hand slide under her
body and back towards her abused vagina and hard, swollen clitoris. He knew
that she was masturbating towards yet another orgasm as the younger man
fucked her hard in the ass.
From the ferocity of their coupling, it was obvious that neither would be
able to hold back for very long. Kip could see beads of sweat forming across
Napoleon's brow as he gritted his teeth and with a grunt pulled his huge
erection from LaFawnduh's asshole. As she continued to furiously rub her
clit, the young man pulled twice on his shaft and released a massive quantity
of warm sticky cum. His hot cum splashed obscenely on to her animated
buttocks as she herself shook violently as the orgasm lurched through her
large frame. For several more seconds, Kip looked on as his girlfriend and
his younger brother continued to convulse in ecstasy. LaFawnduh looked like
a complete slut. Her usually tight little asshole appeared violated and
yawned lewdly; agape for all to see, with thick white cum running in small
streams over the abused hole and down the inside of her quivering thighs.
They switched around. LaFawnduh sucked Napoleon off, tasting her ass on his
cum. Kip thrust into her with force.
"Put it in me!" she begged, "ram it up inside me...pleaseeee!"
LaFawnduh pulled Napoleon's cock out of her mouth and begged him to fuck her.
The two brothers changed positions. Napoleon lay flat on the floor with his
erect member pointed upward. LaFawduh came and lowered herself onto his
member until his huge cock was sheathed inside her pussy. Kip came and
entered her ass.
She grunted when he entered her. Kip placed his hands on her hips and began
to ram his cock into her asshole. Napoleon thrust upward, shoving his cock
deep inside LaFawnduh. She screamed in passion as they worked her like this
for several minutes. Just thrusting deep inside her.
"Oh God! I'm gonna cum again!" cried LaFawnduh.
She screamed at the top of her lungs and the brothers screamed as well as
both of them came inside her at the same time, filling both her holes with
All three of them lay on the floor, their bodies covered with sweat. They
went to the bathroom and showered together. It was all very interesting.
Then Kip and LaFawduh left. Just like that. Napoleon watched them go.
He lay in bed, thinking about all those things that had been happening to
him in these times. He decided to call Pedro. " Hi, Pedro." he said.
"Hola, mi amigo." said Pedro.
They talked on the phone. Napoleon thought about telling Pedro about his
experimentation with girls, first with Deb and then with the beautiful black
woman known as LaFawnduh. He thought better of it. "Hey, Pedro, wanna do
something on friday ?" he asked.
Pedro was going on about the student election and how it was going at school.
Summer Wheatley was popular but the guys had a plan to defeat her.
"See you later Pedro." said Napoleon. "Love you buddy." he said.
"Love you back, gringo." Pedro said before he hung up.
Napoleon smiled. He decided to call Deb. He called her. The phone rang. She
wasn't there. Napoleon put a message on the phone. After leaving a message,
he called a certain delivery service. He wanted to give a surprise to two
very special people.
When Deb came home from a scholarship search, she thought about Napoleon.
Since they made love, they hadn't talked. She really hoped he would call.
She checked her messages. Napoleon had called. She played the message and
listened to his voice.
"Hi, Deb. I really enjoyed being with you and I treasure what took place
between us. You are special to me. Contact me soon. I need to see you. Love,
She smiled to herself. She was about to play the message for the sixth time
when she heard someone at her door. She opened and saw a tall delivery man.
"Deb?" he asked.
"That's me." she said.
He handed her a bouquet of lilacs. She took them and read the note. "Flowers
for a special lady. Love. Signed: Napoleon." She smiled.
The delivery man tipped his hat to her. She gave him a tip and went back
inside. She went to her bedroom and lay there, holding the flowers and
looking at the ceiling. Napoleon was some kind of special. She smiled to
herself. She would call him later.
Forget about later, she wanted to call him now.
* * *
Pedro was in his room when his sister told him that there was someone at the
door. He went to open it. It was a delivery man. He gave a bouquet of flowers
to Pedro, along with a note. "For a very special friend whom I love very
much. Signed: Napoleon."
Pedro smiled and went back inside. He had to talk to Napoleon. He wanted to
kiss the gringo. He called Napoleon's house. The line was busy.
Later, Napoleon picked it up and listened to a very happy and excited Pedro.
What followed was a one-hour conversation that ended when Pedro said, "Bye,
amore. Buena noche."
Napoleon smiled. He had just gotten off the phone with Deb when Pedro called.
Both were extremely pleased with his actions and he was glad they were. He
loved them both and wanted to keep both in his life.