Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. It is based on Comedy Central's
series Reno 911. I own nothing. This is a parody. If you are of legal age,
remain. Otherwise leave. Enjoy.

Reno 911: Nasty Cops (MF,MFF,inter)
by The Fan ([email protected])

Clementine Johnson walked into the Reno police department building. She was
a tall, attractive young woman with long blond hair and pale blue eyes. She
had been working at the department for years.

Clementine was the kind of girl who was used to getting what she wanted.
Anywhere she went. When she walked into the department that morning, she
could feel her fellow public servants eyeballing her. She looked hot and
she knew it. She could feel the men looking at her and some of the women
too. She didn't mind. She liked to show people what she got. She was a
Deputy and couldn't wait to get promoted. It meant better pay. It also
meant that she could play around more often and get away with it. She
took her job very seriously but didn't mind having a bit of fun every
now and then.

She went into the office of Deputy Trudy Wiegel.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel was a slender woman with short dark hair and alert eyes.
She hadn't been with the department for long and seemed to be still learning
the ropes. Clementine Johnson knew Trudy Wiegel's type. Trudy Wiegel was a
closeted bisexual. She liked to show off her boyfriend but Clementine knew
that she liked pussy as well. Clementine wanted to get some of that. She was
a bisexual herself and did not hide it in her private life. Her parents and
friends knew. She didn't bring her sexuality to work unless it was something
she could use.

When Clementine walked into the office, Trudy Wiegel appeared really
surprised. Clementine smiled. She didn't mind being stared at. Trudy
positively gawked. Clementine decided to tease her a bit. "How are you
doing, Trudy?" she asked.

"Fine." said Trudy nervously.

She was so nervous that Clementine decided not to bother. Or maybe she still
would tease a bit. "How's life?" she asked.

"Good." said Trudy, avoiding Clementine's eyes.

"That's cool." said Clementine. "How's your boyfriend?"

Trudy hesitated. "He's fine." she said.

Clementine looked at Trudy and the young woman turned beet red. "Let's get
this in the open." Clementine said, taking off her jacket. "I know you're
queer. You know I'm queer. Get over it."

Trudy gasped. Clementine smiled and turned to leave. "Wait." said Trudy.

Clementine cocked an eyebrow and looked at her. "Yes?" she said.

"How do you know?" asked Trudy.

"I'm bi." said Clementine. "I can sense lesbians and bisexual women. I can
also sense the curious straight ones."

Trudy appeared to be really surprised. Clementine headed out. Trudy came
after her. "Can we talk ?" she asked.

"Gimme your number." Clementine said.

"Okay." Trudy said.

She scribbled it down on a piece of paper. Clementine pocketed it. Trudy took
hers. "Laters." she said.

The work day ended. Clementine went home. She showered and did her business.
As soon as she got out, the phone rang. It was Trudy. "Hey, girl. What's up?"
said Clementine.

"Nothing, I'm cool." said Trudy. "I just wanted to talk about... you know."

Clementine laughed. "Talk about queer life?" she said.

"Yeah." Trudy said meekly.

Clementine was almost touched by her tender voice. "Meet me at the Nickel in
one hour." said Clementine.

"What?" said Trudy. "It's such short notice."

Clementine wouldn't bite. "Be there or be square, later babe."

She hung up the phone. She smiled at herself. She knew that Trudy would be

An hour later, Clementine Johnson went into the Nickel's. It was a singles
bar in the city. She wore a navy blue jacket over a black tank top, black
jeans and boots. She looked hot and she knew it. Several men looked at her
as she went into the bar and a few of the women. Clementine enjoyed the
looks. She liked getting noticed. She ordered a drink while waiting for
Trudy Wiegel. The chick was not there. An hour later, Clementine was so
friggin angry that she had been stood up that she kicked the car door. Who
did Trudy think she was? Nobody stood up Clementine Johnson!!!

Clementine got drunk and called her sometime lover Deputy S. Jones to take
her home. Surely enough, he came to see her. Jones was a tall black man. He
was a fellow police officer. Clementine had met him not long ago. He was
totally cool. He was also a great lover and she needed to get some... bad.
Especially after being stood up and humiliated like that tonight by a stupid
baby dyke. They went to her place. Jones wanted to return back to his place
but Clementine came up with a reason for him to stay.

She got naked. Jones started acting nervous. Clementine knew how she
looked. Jones hesitated and started mumbling about having an early work day.
Clementine bent over and showed him her spectacular ass. "You sure you don't
wanna stay?" she asked.

Jones had his clothes off in a flash. "Ain't leaving now." he told her.

"So I got it like that." Clementine smiled. She led him into the bedroom.

Jones had a nice, athletic body. He was a very handsome black man. Clementine
looked at his dick. It looked like a huge black snake. She had to get some of
that. She knelt before him and took it into her mouth. She licked his balls
and sucked on his cock. He moaned in pleasure. Clementine knew how to work
it. She licked his dick up and down and sucked on his balls. She flicked her
tongue over his cockhead and he winced in pleasure. It was a really sensitive
spot. Clementine continued to suck him off until he came.

She drank his cum. Licked him clean. They went to bed. She wanted to do
something wild and sent him to the bathroom to fetch some lube and condoms.
She always kept them at her place. He returned with the condom on his lips.
He found her on all fours. Face down. Ass up. She knew that in this position,
he would be enflamed with desire for her. Surely enough, his big dick got

Jones positioned himself behind her and rubbed his cock against her puckered
asshole. Clementine purred. His well-lubed, condom-covered cock slid easily
into her ass. He pushed it up her anal canal. Clementine grunted. She gritted
her teeth as Jones slammed into her. He fucked her hard and fast. His thick
cock mercilessly drilled her asshole. Just the way she liked it. She was into
the rough stuff. He grabbed her hair and yanked her head back as he fucked
her. This was the most aggressive that she had ever seen him and she liked
it. She liked it a lot. This went on for a half hour until he came. She
screamed. He pulled out of her. She took the condom off his dick and sucked
on him, drawing out all of his cum. Jones screamed in pleasure. Clementine
continued what she was doing until he begged for mercy.

Later, they showered together and had an encore. He left not long after and
she went to sleep. Clementine knew she could get any man or woman she wanted.
She was gonna make Trudy regret ever standing her up.

The next day...

Clementine Johnson went to work and looked for Trudy Wiegel. She couldn't
find her anywhere. Clementine wanted to confront her... seriously. She needed
to vent so she went walking around. Her shift wasn't until later. She walked
around the locker room areas until she heard some strange sounds coming from
a storage room. Curiosity got the best of her and she went to take a peek
inside. What she saw amazed her...

There were two of her fellow police officers. Deputy James Garcia and Deputy
Raineesha Williams. They were going at it in the storage room...

Deputy James Garcia positioned himself behind Deputy Raineesha Williams. The
black woman was bent over a chair and Garcia was fucking her. He held her by
the hips and thrust into her. Raineesha groaned as he fucked her. He fucked
her hard and fast. She pushed back against him, jiggling her bubble butt as
she did. He thrust even harder into her. Clementine watched this. She found
herself getting turned on by it. She slipped a hand between her thighs and
felt the urge. She watched. She got so into it that she slipped up and
tripped. She banged herself hard against an old box. The two lovers froze.
It was comical. They acted like kids that got their hand caught in the cookie
jar. They looked in Clementine's direction. They saw her. Busted, Clementine
thought. The two of them looked embarassed.

"What are you doing here?" Raineesha asked.

"Watching the show." Clementine said boldly.

"Oh, shit." said Garcia. "Don't report us, okay?"

Clementine smiled. "Only if I get to join in." she said.

Raineesha hesitated, then smiled.

James Garcia smiled broadly. "Okay by me." he told her.

Clementine joined in on the fun. She and Raineesha fulfilled Garcia's rather
predictable fantasy by going down on each other. Clementine kissed Raineesha
then licked the black woman's tits. Her sleek hand slid between Raineesha's
thighs. She started to lick Raineesha's pussy. Raineesha moaned in pleasure
then shut up as she started to suck on Garcia's cock. Clementine fucked
Raineesha, first with her fingers, then with her nightstick. She used it as
she would a dildo, fucking the black woman's glistening wet snatch. Raineesha
continued to suck on Garcia's cock. He groaned in pleasure and erupted,
shooting his cum all over Raineesha's face. Raineesha drank his cum.

Clementine told Garcia to follow her lead. She took his long, thick cock and
rubbed it against Raineesha's hot-looking bubble butt. Clementine spread
Raineesha's butt cheeks, exposing her asshole and told James Garcia to stick
his cock inside. He didn't need to be told twice.

Garcia slid his cock between Raineesha's butt cheeks. He pressed his cock
against her asshole, and pushed. Raineesha grimaced when James Garcia's cock
penetrated her butthole. Clementine urged Garcia to fuck her hard. Garcia
thrust into Raineesha, plunging his cock deep inside her asshole. Down the
hershey highway. Up the wahzoo. Clementine watched all this and masturbated
while watching it. It was so hot. A black woman getting her asshole violated
by a long thick cock belonging to a hot macho stud.

Garcia pumped it in there, slamming her hard and deep. Raineesha was trying
her best not to scream but Clementine could see tears welling up in her
eyes. Clementine knew exactly how she felt. She had a pretty big cock up her
asshole just last night. She was still sore down there. Black men had such
big dicks! She watched as Garcia came inside Raineesha, flooding her asshole
with his cum. Raineesha screamed. Garcia grunted.

Clementine just smiled. Garcia pulled out of Raineesha and Clementine took a
look at the black woman's gaping asshole. Wide open and bloody. Garcia wiped
his cock with his shirt. Raineesha just lay there, tired as hell and barely
able to breathe.

Clementine looked at Garcia's thick cock. She wanted some of that. He lay on
the table, resting. She went up and climbed on top of him. "What the hell?"
he asked.

"What's the matter baby?" Clementine asked. "Don't you like me?"

Garcia just smiled and put his hand upon her hips. She lowered herself
until his dick was inside her pussy. She began to bounce up and down on him,
supporting herself by putting her hands on his broad shoulders. He thrust
into her. Each of his upward thrusts was met by one of her downward thrusts,
followed by a sharp groan. He slammed his cock inside her pussy. Clementine
liked the feeling of a hard cock inside her pussy. There was nothing else
like it. Raineesha looked at them as Clementine and Garcia went at it. She
seemed to like what she saw. Clementine screamed as Garcia came inside her.
She rested in his arms. It was over.

Later, all three of them walked out of the storage room. It was over. None of
them would ever tell anyone what had taken place back there. Secrets had to
be kept. Careers had to be safeguarded. Reputations had to be protected. As
for Clementine, she went back to work feeling better than ever. Her partner,
Deputy Jim Dangle found her new attitude strangely appealing.

"What's going on, kiddo?" he asked.

"Just a gal having fun." she told him.

They got on the Patrol car. Reno was a tough place that had to be patrolled.
There were lots of bad guys out there and bad girls who made the bad guys
look like choir boys. Someone had to catch them. Deputies Jim Dangle and
Clementine Johnson just happened to be the right people for the job.

The End


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