Introduction (This event takes place before Gabrielle's short haircut - as
those episodes haven't hit terrestrial UK TV yet!)
In the course of their adventures Xena and Gabrielle have come across a
statistically improbable number of women who looked very similar to them.
The most 'famous' was Meg, barmaid, thief and rough guide (as in Rough
Guide to Athens, Rough Guide to Corinth etc etc) was almost identical to
Xena, although the similarities ended when she opened her mouth. In the
process of their latest adventure Xena and Gabrielle have had to do no
more than break into a warlords castle to retrieve some artifact. At the
same time Meg (pretending to be Xena) has gained entry to steal money.
Gabrielle has become separated from Xena and (rather carelessly) mislaid
her trusty staff and is looking for it. She enters a bed chamber on the
off chance that it is where she left her weapon, only to discover Meg
stuffing jewelry into a bag...
Xena Warrior Princess: Gabrielle Vs Meg (Xena look-a-like and good time girl)
by Simon Harrison ([email protected]) (catfight)
"What are you doing Meg?" asked Gabrielle with her hands on hips. Meg sighed
heavily, as if talking to a particularly dim child and turned to face the
"What does it look like you silly blonde bitch!"
"What did you call me, harlot?" snarled the blonde.
"You heard me, and if you don't like it go running to Xena!" sneered Meg in
her whiny Athenian accent.
"I've kicked your sorry butt once before and I'll do it again." Gabrielle
turned and locked the door behind her and then threw the key into the corner.
Xena's assistant was attired in her now famous outfit of light brown knee
boots, brown skirt and green crop top (standard female fashion in ancient
Greece). Meg smiled and threw her bag of goodies onto the large fur covered
bed. Meg was wearing a long dark skirt, dark knee length boots and blue crop
top. Both women wore their hair long and natural. The Xena look alike
walked towards Gabrielle who moved from the doorway and onto the luxuriously
thick furs that covered the floor - a sure sign that the occupant was a
successful warlord. Meg had had a number of catfights with women employed
in a similar line of business to her and thought that her height would be a
decisive factor. Gabrielle had become used to fighting with a staff, mainly
because she and Xena had never felt the need (except on special occasions in
private, far away from prying eyes and Joxer's fantasies) to fight in this
They closed on one another and started to lash out with their hands trying
to gain a hold or slap the other. Meg moved forward hoping to dominate her
blonde opponent and got inside her flailing arms. From this position she was
able to wrap an arm around Gabrielle's neck and pull her close to her. The
trusty blonde responded by turning her slaps into punches aimed at Meg's
arms and body. The dark haired woman grunted as these blows, although not
forceful, hit home. Meg retaliated as her instinct and experience taught her
to do; she took a two handed grip on Gabrielle's long blonde hair and started
Gabrielle squealed with pain as her head was pulled backwards. She knew from
her brief skirmish with Meg (See Xena episode Warrior....Princess....Tramp)
that her opponent would resort to the tactics of the gutter, she just hadn't
expected it quite so soon. As her punches didn't seem to be having any
impact, Gabrielle reached up and took hold of Meg's long dark hair; a move
that brought back strange feelings for the blonde, but as she was in her
first real catfight she didn't have time to ponder upon.
"Little tramp," hissed Meg's, "You're just the same as me fighting like a
common street girl, or maybe you use barns in the Country!" Gabrielle's
response was a hard two fisted pull no Meg's hair which caused the serving
wench to screech with pain.
"Don't you ever wash your hair bitch? Even Spartan women do that!" snarled
Meg started to lash out with her booted feet, but only made contact with
Gab's boots causing no pain. Gabrielle did likewise with the same affect as
the two women started to stagger around the bedchamber unseen. The sounds of
their struggle were drowned out by Xena single handedly taking on 30 soldiers
down the corridor.
Meg broke her hold on Gabrielle's blonde hair and instead hooked her arm's
under her opponents. Holding onto her wrists she locked the blonde in a
painful bear hug, and by straining herself was even able to pick her off the
floor. Gabrielle squealed at the crush on her rib cage and at being picked
up off the floor. She started to lash out more wildly and by good fortune
the toe of her boot connected just below Meg's left knee. The dark haired
woman let out a scream, dropped, Gabrielle, who released her hair grip and
as she staggered backwards let out a stream of curses that would not be
permissible in a family show (and not found in any English-Ancient Greek
Guide book). As she bent to clutch her aching knee (it was normally Meg who
kicked customers) Gabrielle recovered her balance and charged into her
opponent. This took the dark haired courtesan by surprise as she was more
concerned by the intense pain in her leg, and then she was knocked back onto
the bed with the blonde on top of her.
Ignoring the sudden sense of deja vu that came to mind, Gabrielle took hold
of Meg's hair with her left hand and started to try and position herself so
that she was sat astride her opponent. She used her left hand to fend off
Meg's half hearted defensive efforts. It took Meg a few moments to
comprehend what had happened and she started to fight back. With her hands
free Meg was able to return her opponents hair pulling and started to
struggle. But she wasn't able to stop Xena's blonde side kick from sitting
astride her waist triumphantly. It was a disappointment to Gabrielle that
Meg didn't surrender that instant. A disappointment made painful when Meg
instead drove a fist into the blonde's stomach. Gabrielle shouted in pain
and slumped forward slightly but didn't let go of her opponents hair. Meg
repeated the blow which also brought a cry of pain, although not as loud nor
as satisfying as the first blow. Gabrielle started to shake her dark haired
opponents head from side to side in the hope of distracting her.
"Get off me you country slut!" screeched Meg now becoming quite disorientated
by the head shaking. Rather than continue punching her opponent she reached
up and grabbed the blondes wrists, which at least brought some respite from
the shaking, but it didn't stop the woman on top from pulling hair harder.
Meg squealed like a stuck pig as several strands of dark hair came loose and
responded by digging her nails into Gabrielle's wrists. Now it was the
blonde's turn to screech with pain.
Gabrielle managed to pull both her hands free from Meg's talons and paused
for a few moments to examine the damage; the skin was broken and raw but not
yet bleeding. Meg just lay their catching her breath, despite the blonde
woman being sat astride her.
"Can't little Gabrielle fight without her staff like a real woman?" asked
Meg, venom and spite oozing from every syllable. Gabrielle responded with a
curt "Bitch!" and in one swift movement slapped Meg across the face with a
resounding thwack. Whilst the bar room favourite cleared her head from this
venomous blow, Gabrielle reached down and took hold of Meg's hair again,
pulling her head up off the bed. This proved to be remarkably effective in
bringing the Xena look-alike back to reality. She reached up with both her
hands and rather than take hold of Gabrielle's hair, as the blonde was
expecting, sunk her fingers into the green crop top. As the Greeks had not
invented bra's (a particular failing on their part) the crop top was all that
protected Gabrielle's breasts. As Meg's fingers began squeezing the familiar
pleasant sensation that Gabrielle was feeling turned rapidly to pain. She
screamed and tried to pull herself away from her opponent but Meg wasn't
letting go. In desperation the blonde sidekick grabbed hold of Meg's wrists
and tried to pull the hands away from her chest. But Meg was determined to
hold on and even when Gabrielle could prise the cruel fingers away they
retained their hold on the green cloth, stretching the simple material of the
crop top. It was a sign of Gabrielle's inexperience in this form of combat
that she could not cope with Meg's bucking and breast attacks. And it would
have been no surprise to the seasoned observer (had they been around in
ancient Greece) when Meg managed to twist her body to the right. This had
the effect of unbalancing Gabrielle so that she also slid to the right and
consequently fell off of the bed. She landed on the floor in an untidy heap
as if struck by a blow from her friend Xena.
Whilst the blonde fighter tried to collect herself Meg checked her head for
damage and was further enraged as a few strands came away in her fingers.
Her shriek brought Gabrielle back to reality and she slowly brought herself
up onto her knees. As her head rose above the level of the bed it was only
her finely honed reflexes that enabled her to throw herself to the floor in
time to miss Meg's kick. Realising that her kick had missed, Meg cursed and
started to edge backwards. More warily this time Gabrielle raised her head
this time only to catch a glancing blow from a cushion thrown by a cackling
Meg. But as the Athenian serving wench turned to grab more ammunition,
Gabrielle grabbed her by her booted ankles and pulled hard. Meg's cackled
laughter turned to a shriek of surprise as she turned to see what was
happening. As the brunette struggled to break free, Gabrielle let go to
readjust her hold and in doing so took a glancing blow to the right breast
from a boot. The lovely blonde bit her lip rather than cry out and instead
grabbed her opponents dark skirt. This item of clothing was a more practical
than quality item of clothing and it gave way with a loud ripping sound,
revealing Meg's thighs and her unprotected pussy. (The Greeks not only
failed to invent the bra, but sexy underwear as well. No wonder the Romans
took over!) As the rough material came away Gabrielle fell backwards and Meg
let out a string of expletives and curses that would not have been out of
place in Athens harbour.
As Meg got up onto her knees they both realised what had happened Gabrielle
started to giggle. This only served to infuriate Meg more and she threw
herself off of the bed intent on landing on her blonde opponent. But
Gabrielle managed to roll out of the way so that Meg thudded into the rug
covered floor. Her head landed on the previously thrown cushion which
prevented her from suffering serious injury. But she was still unable to
protect herself as Xena's assistant scrambled to sit astride Meg's back. She
then reinforced her newly acquired position of dominance by pulling Meg's
head up off the cushion with a double handed hair pull. This brought Meg
back from the Underworld with a jolt and she started to whimper and groan
with the pain. But this was not enough for the blonde who now wanted pay
As Gabrielle snarled "Has this little country girls beaten the big bad city
whore!" she moved her right hand round to the front of the brunette started
to squeeze the breast hidden behind Meg's blue crop top. The brunette
squealed anew with pain and struggled to break free. But Gabrielle wasn't
going to be thrown so easily this time, and to emphasise her position she
slammed her butt down on her opponents lower back. As a new wave of pain
washes through Meg's body, the serving wench realised that she needs to do
something or face a humiliating defeat.
Straining every sinew Meg managed to raise herself up slightly on to her
hands. "For such a little bitch you sure weigh a lot!" Meg hisses at
The blonde decides not to rise to this insult and instead raises her butt
for another slam. But to Gabrielle's surprise, Meg seizes this opportunity
to her twist her body round so that she can look up at her opponent. This
also allows Meg to use her hands to grab hold of the blondes brown skirt.
Her triumph is short lived as Gabrielle lands heavily on her stomach, but
she doesn't relinquish her grip and despite the intense discomfort, starts
to pull at the garment. Gabrielle can feel the skirt coming away and starts
to rain slaps down on Meg's head. But these have no affect and just as she
decided to grab the brunettes hair, the skirt rips open, coming away in Meg's
hands. Had there been an audience they would have seen Gabrielle's, radiant
corn coloured pubic mound.
There was a moments pause as the two women pondered this development before
Gabrielle shouted several obscenities that she didn't learn from Joxer and
grabbed hold of Meg's crop top. This time she was intent in ripping it from
her opponents chest rather than attack what was hidden behind the garment.
Meg's reaction was to attempt to defend herself, but concluding that she was
only delaying the inevitable she reached up and started pulling Gabrielle's
crop top. Again quality control was not a high priority in the Ancient Greek
textiles industry and neither item was able to stand much tugging. Almost
simultaneously the two crop tops came away revealing two oft lusted after
sets of breasts. The warm Greek weather showed its affect on the two women
as they were covered in a sheen of sweat. Both combatants discarded the
piece of clothing in their hands and grabbed their opponents breasts. Meg
was better endowed and Gabrielle turned her previous experience with Xena
towards inflicting cruel punishment upon her best friend's double. Such
attacks were nothing new to Meg as she grabbed the blondes breasts, paying
particular attention to the large pink nipples. Two sets of fingers set
about their task with a frenzy, pinching, twisting and scratching. In
response both women howled with pain. Although Gabrielle's attack was more
brutal, Meg was twisting and turning her sensitive nipples between her grubby
fingers like she was dealing cards.
Gabrielle had never been hurt like this before and she lost all self control
and began sob loudly in between the screams of pain. It would have been on
no consolation to Gabrielle how much she was hurting Meg who was now close
to tears. It was Meg whose nerve went first, but instead of trying to break
free she diverted a hand and plunged it into Gabrielle's pussy. The affect
was like applying a red hot poker and Gabrielle arched her back as she
screamed with pain as Meg pulled on the short curly yellow hair all the
while getting closer to the blondes clit. But as she let vent to her pain,
Gabrielle's instinctive reaction was to clench her fingers even tighter
around Meg's breasts. The Xena's look-a-like's face went white and tears
started to stream down her cheeks. With what little conscious control she
could muster, Meg withdrew her hand from the blonde's pussy and started to
try and push her away. As the pain in her womanhood subsided, the relief
took Gabrielle's mind completely off the fight in hand and her hold on Meg
relaxed. It was only when Meg pushed hard on her battered breasts, pushing
them back into her chest, and her off of her opponent, did the blonde bard
realise what was happening.
Gabrielle landed on her back, clear from Meg who started to drag herself away
from her opponent all the while checking her damaged breasts for signs of
permanent damage. Xena's best friend also checked herself through the sobs
of anguish. These sobs turned to rage when she saw the red marks on her
perfect breasts and the ravaging her pussy had taken. Gabrielle shrieked
with rage and looked up to see Meg still close by, but getting away, more
intent on tending to herself than checking on what the blonde was doing.
Gabrielle lashed out with a booted foot that travelled up between Meg's legs
and made solid contact with the brunette's crotch. Meg screamed like she had
been stabbed and rolled away towards the wall clutching her womanhood.
Meg had moved a couple of metres and tried to compose herself. The pain in
her crotch had not subsided and tears flowed freely like the wine that
clients used to ply her with. She swore revenge and rose up onto her hands
and knees looking for Gabrielle. The next thing that happened took Meg by
surprise as it was that Gabrielle slammed her crotch into Meg's arse and took
a two handed grip on her brown hair, pulling her upwards. Meg shrieked with
pain and lashed about ever more feebly.
Gabrielle leaned forward and whispered nastily in her opponents ear, "You've
shown me how a whore fights on the streets of Athens, lets see how well I
have learnt shall we!"
With that Gabrielle moved her right hand down between Meg's legs and began a
merciless assault on her pussy. She started by pulling public hair, before
moving onto scratching and then more intimate attacks. Meg lasted only a
few moments before the fight left her and she went limp whilst the blonde
continued her assault. When she was finally certain that Meg had given up
she let go, allowing the brunette to crash to the floor. Despite the tears
and the pain, Gabrielle slowly stood up and was about to deliver another kick
to the fallen woman's crotch when she realised that someone was watching. To
Gabrielle's relief it wasn't Joxer, but Xena with a look of surprise and
holding her staff.
"What's going on here?" asked Xena her mind racing with the possibilities.
"Its a long story," sobbed Gabrielle as she sunk to her knees in exhaustion
and landing on Meg's back for good measure.
That night Xena reunited Gabrielle with her staff. She helped tend all of
the blonde's wounds and went through every move of the fight (only because
Joxer wasn't there) so that Gabrielle could learn from the experience. They
repeated this exercise for the next few nights, often acting out parts of
the fight, so that Gabrielle could properly record her triumph on a scroll.
Meanwhile Meg was found by those soldiers who survived Xena and was taken
with them as they went in search of a new warlord to serve. Throughout the
slow process of regaining her strength Meg swore revenge on both Gabrielle
Meanwhile Joxer later paid 15 Dinar from a dodgy scroll seller for an account
of the fight.